The Realm Jumper
by KyuubiGoku
Summary: Did you believe the story of Uzumaki Naruto was the only one to be seen? Please, that was just one of the thousands of realms he's visited. He's grown bored and has completed his objective in that realm. Now's the time for him to go and have fun in the next realm, and the next, and the next, AND THE NEXT! Thousands of realms just ready for fun. Extremely OP Naruto! Godlike Naruto!
1. Chapter 1

_**KG: Brain blockage. Doing something about it. Might as well make something fun for myself. Still waiting for the poll to tally itself up a little bit higher. I want no room for arguments when I decide so you all better vote.**_

 _ **KG: In the meantime, I'll work through my writer's block with a non-serious story. Repeat, non-serious. So, don't expect too much in its way.**_

 _ **Music of the Week: Miracle by Position Music**_

 _ **Quote: "**_ _ **I decided to fly through the air and live in the sunlight and enjoy life as much as I could," by Evel Knievel.**_

* * *

Heads hung low, the people of Konoha wept as they carried the body of their deceased Nanadaime Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto. From humble beginnings to grand achievements people remembered fondly the days that were sent under his protection. They remembered his beaming smile which seemed to make a light of the darkest periods. Not only was he concerned with the needs of the many, but he took special care of the needs of the few. He was not the perfect Hokage, but he gave more of himself than anyone could ask for. Konoha finally had to admit, they were wrong about the blonde. For all their desire to see him fail, he rose above their hatred each and every time. None could have been more passionate than him. He was the type that could make friends of enemies, he could instill hope in the hopeless, and he could give strength to the weak. He was Konoha's brightest sun. Just as all the Hokage before him, he continued to protect the Will of Fire.

Friends and family grieved. Those whom he had known since his days as a child watched as his wooden casket swept through the village held in the arms of the Anbu. Uzumaki Boruto, son of Uzumaki Naruto, held his little sister, Uzumaki Himawari, daughter of Uzumaki Naruto, and his mother, Uzumaki Hinata, wife, lover, and friend of Uzumaki Naruto, in his arms. They cried and sobbed as they watched the one they loved pass them by. Boruto did not cry, not yet. His father had left the family to him now and he had to show the same type of strength that his father had shown time and time again. There would be time to weep in silence, but for now…his family needed to grieve. He was sure that without him, they would collapse.

His body passed by Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino, Akimichi Choji, Akimichi Karui, Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru, Nara Termari, Rock Lee, and Tenten. He passed by Gaara, Tsunade, Kirabi, Ay, Darui, Mei, Kurotsuchi, and Chojuro. They watched his body. They tried to not tremble. They tried to not show weakness, but the strains of tears would not stop. It seemed like an unrealistic dream to have the blonde Kage gone. At the moment, they would have given anything to have him shouting them over to have ramen with him. Their children watched him go in silence and respect. Though they did not know him as well as their parents, they still had nothing but good things to say about him. He was a kind man and an even kinder leader.

His body ascended the steps of the Hokage Mansion. At the very top, beneath the falling rain, stood his teammates and even more family. Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, Sai, Hatake Kakashi, and…Captain Yamato. Next to Sasuke and Sakura was Uchiha Sarada. She had been adamant to appear with her family and no one turned her down. To their side was also the Hachidaime of Konoha, Sarutobi Konohamaru. Next to him, stood Ichiraku Teuchi and Ayame, the ramen owners. They walked his casket be placed on the roof of the Hokage Mansion. Everyone watched and Konohamaru, with a heavy heart, moved forward.

"I knew Naruto-niichan for many years. He always had a way of making you feel great about yourself. He always instilled in us the best qualities that any human being ever could. He taught me, us, about the importance of the Will of Fire and I know that he is going to be watching not just over Konoha, but he will be watching over the whole world to see the peace that we have fought and bled for to be realized one day. I hope to continue to live up to his expectations and yours. Our hearts are heavy, but we must never forget the wonderful times that Naruto-nii spent with us. He would ask that we carry on as we were. I know I will miss him greatly and so will all of you, but we have kept Konoha standing in the face of adversity and we will continue to do so. Now, we return our fellow leader, father, and friend to the paradise where he may meet the parents…that he never had." Konohamaru announced. No one said anything. They were all silent. Needless to say, but it was a very melancholy affair. Only Naruto's closest friends watched him be lowered into the ground along with the bodies of the other Kage. He was quickly, but respectfully buried. Slowly, one by one, people offered their condolences to Naruto's family before walking away. It took a good portion of the day, but Boruto managed to let his mother and sister return home. He did as well.

Night settled over Konoha. There was not a speck of sound to be heard. However, the ground around the burial site began to rumble. It quickly exploded. A hand crawled from the hole in the ground and pulled itself up. A mess of blonde hair shadowed itself in the moonlight. "When there are no more fucks to give! Uzumaki Naruto shall…give a fuck. What the fuck? Where is everybody?!" A middle-aged man asked. He dusted off his clothes and stood to his feet.

" **You died, you idiot! Remember that?! That was our plan!"** a deep feral voice said rather angrily. The man blinked before he looked around. He noticed he had been buried along with the rest of the Kage. His blue eyes gazed over the land. He took a step from his tomb and released a pent-up cough. Bending his head down, he brushed the dirt off his hair. Honestly, could people please make bigger caskets! It was hard to move in those damn things!

A look of realization appeared on his face. "Oh right! We did say we would do that. So…what do you think? I think I pulled off the young, dejected, attention-seeking orphan very well. How about you?" he asked, a smile on the face of his lips. Red eyes gleamed and he heard something akin to a snort. Nine tails brushed themselves through the air before landing gently on the ground.

" **Keh! You acted like an idiot. Well, an even bigger idiot than usual. Also why the Hyuuga? Why not the priestess? The girl from that all-female village? Hell, why not the MOVIE ACTRESS?! Why the Hyuuga? You could have literally had anyone!"** The voice boomed, making the elder man rub his ears a tad. Honestly, for being a beast of eternal hate and anger, Kurama still had that stupid tsundere personality that the blonde man was never able to get over. **"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A TSUNDERE, BRAT?!"** the voice roared once again.

Case and point. However, the man cleaned his ears of the volume and stretched out of his back. "Hey! You were the one who was all…the princess and the commoner is the classic story! Why not go for it! I was following your lead, Kurama!" He countered back. The Nine-tailed Fox growled, but released a huff and lowered himself to the ground. He opened one of his eyes to gaze into the outside world.

" **I didn't specifically mean the Hyuuga brat! How much royalty have you encountered on this trip alone?! Never mind all of the COUNTLESS times you did on your other trips! For being the one who many praised with creativity and ingenuity, you really can't think outside the box, can you?"** Kurama asked. The blonde remained silent for a moment. He supposed his tenant did have a point. Had he just gotten lazy? Maybe so. However, he was going for the 'Loyal to Konoha' route in this world. It wasn't like there was anything specific in not doing so. It had just been the simplest approach, and if anyone knew him, then they knew he liked simple.

Knowing this, Kurama grumbled and placed his head in his furry hands. " **So…what adventure are you going to do now that this world is done, Naruto?"** The Kyuubi no Yoko asked Uzumaki Naruto, Nanadaime of Konoha. Hmm, perhaps it should have been changed to 'former Nanadaime of Konoha.' Yeah, that seemed to make more sense. The blonde quickly covered up the grave. A tedious work, but he could at least respect those who died in this world by not leaving it dirty.

"Hmm, I dunno. I wish I had my list. Would be much easier to remember all of this shit. And no, I'm not going to 'Evil Naruto' Route just yet. No matter how much fun you make it sound," Naruto was sure he heard a curse somewhere in there which made him laugh. He knew how badly Kurama wanted to try that out at least once. However, for that, the blonde would have to get into it. As fun as this was, he didn't see himself killing off his friends so easily and for fun. Perhaps on a bad day he could try it, but not right now.

Kyuubi arched an eyebrow. **"You could try the other one. You know…the special one,"** Kyuubi said with a smirk. Naruto's eyebrow twitched, but he didn't immediately dismiss the idea. He knew which one the Kyuubi was talking about. He had just finished covering up the grave and leaving no traces of his departure before he sat on the stairs. He placed a finger to his chin.

"Damn Kyuubi, you're mean. You think they're ready for that?" Naruto asked. Luckily for him, he was sure that neither he nor his fellow Bijuu never cared if they would be ready or not. With a final look over of his village, the blonde took a lasting breath of air. He then slapped his hands together. A massive surge of chakra blasted itself into the air. Not very subtle, but he doubted that it would matter at this point.

" **Heh, gimme a good show, brat! Oh wait, wait, WAIT!"** Kyuubi shouted which made the blonde pause for a brief period. He lowly growled but held his stance. He could already feel the traces of his shinobi rushing towards this location.

He shook his head in response. "Dear Kami, what now?!" Naruto asked in a bit of a hurry. He could not have seen it, but the Kyuubi gave the widest grin, showcasing his very intimidating teeth. He didn't say anything for a moment which only served to annoy the blonde more and more. He could tell that Kurama was doing this on purpose too.

Seeing the time, the Kyuubi smirked. **"Who's going to be your mate this time? No, wait! How about we go the 'mates' route? You've never done that! If I recall, you said you would, but you never did. I wanna see it! We deserve it! Come on, the route we're going, we gotta have one! YOU OWE ME!"** Kyuubi said which had Naruto rolling his eyes. He knew what his bijuu meant by that owing. Honestly, even at his age, Naruto was beginning to learn that the Bijuu could be pretty damn petty when they wanted to be. If he wasn't concentrating, he would have rolled his eyes. Never would have expected the Kyuubi no Yoko to care about such things. Though, maybe he would have been like that a couple of years ago.

Naruto sighed. "I'll think about it. Now then, before us both have some very uncomfortable explaining to do, how about I get us outta here? Ready for a new adventure, Kurama?" Naruto asked. Kyuubi almost scoffed. Did his jinchuuriki even have to ask? Kyuubi had been waiting for this for the last thirty years since Naruto had finished this world's version of the Fourth Great Shinobi War. Truth be told, Kyuubi wouldn't have minded Naruto becoming the mate of the Rabbit Goddess, but that would be for another world.

" **Get going brat! Entertain me!"** Kyuubi bellowed. Naruto grinned. Five small seals comprised of chakra coated his fingertips. He could see the Konoha shinobi just over the horizon and he slammed on the ground. "Consider yourself entertained, Kurama! Let's go on the next adventure!" Naruto exclaimed. An immense circle surrounded his body, the lighting of its power flourished over the area. The Nanadaime Hokage and his bijuu found themselves enveloped in a sea of white. The shinobi who dropped to the ground couldn't have possibly seen who was inside the light, but they heard a shout.

" **Onmyōton: Ryōiki no Iten (Yin-Yang Release: Transmigration of Realms),"** The voice called before the light overpowered the entire area. Investigating shinobi closed their eyes at the intensity of the light. Naruto and Kyuubi laughed as they faded away from the reality of the world before them. Once the light faded the shinobi would be left very confused and very concerned. However, in that cool night air, they would never be able to explain away the things they had seen while the next adventure to shake a new world would begin.

-x-

The sunlight beamed through an open window. A gentle breeze flew through the curtains. This combination roused Naruto from his sleep. He opened his eyes and stretched his back. He pushed the covers off his body and dropped to his feet. He walked into the bathroom and checked himself in the mirror. "Heh, it worked again," Naruto said, looking significantly younger than he had been previously. If he had to guess then he looked around maybe…six? Seven? Who could tell? However, that did little to deter him.

Naruto raced through some kicks, jabs, and punches. Naturally, his reach, strength, and grip had diminished themselves somewhat, but by Lord did he feel good. His chakra coils remained the same, his knowledge of techniques remained the same, and he was sure he could perform them too. In other words… **"Yeah, yeah, we get it. You're OP as fuck. We all get it. Now, go out and become an Overlord! Amass an army! Conquer these people! Lay waste to our enemies! PROCLAIM THE POWER OF KYUUBI-SAMA! I want my own followers! I want a shrine to me also! I also want priests and priestesses too!"** Kyuubi excitedly exclaimed. Naruto wrote all of these things down on his notepad. That said, he couldn't believe the words that were coming from his bijuu's mouth. Still, the young blonde would never deny the smile on his face at the prospects.

"Yeah yeah, oh great Lord Kyuubi. Come on, let's not waste any time then. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm so ready to go to the Academy!" Naruto said. He ran to his closet and opened the doors. He grabbed a small orange jacket. Not quite the usual of his ensemble, but it would do until he got some better clothes. Forgive him, but he was going to get that orange jacket again. Just a small piece of memorabilia for his empire wall. The thought was enough to make a grown man go giddy.

He quickly grabbed his things and headed out the door. Naruto stared at his village. Funny, he had probably stared at this village over thirty times with each realm he decided to have some fun in. Yet, the sight of it could always make him smile. He jumped off the railing and dashed through the streets. To be honest, he didn't care about the hostile looks sent his way. Naruto could flatten the village if he really desired to. Not saying he would, but he could.

" **I don't know why you bother running. You could have had us appear in style,"** Kyuubi said a tad annoyed. This was not the grand entrance he had been hoping for. Luckily for him, Naruto knew this and expertly wagged his finger back and forth, all the while sucking his teeth as if to chastise his furry friend.

Naruto smirked when he dodged one of the incoming people. _"Kyuubi, Kyuubi, don't you know the first thing about adventure? We can't get there right away. We have side quests to do. Our reputation in the village is abysmal right now. To get followers we first gotta get favor! Know the best place to get favors?"_ Naruto asked. Kyuubi raised an eyebrow, but he quickly understood where his jinchuuriki was thinking and a cunning smile appeared on his face. Honestly, only Uzumaki Naruto could think of such ridiculous things, but that only served to make Kurama grin in amusement.

Naruto walked into the hospital. The agents at the desk looked up at the door. However, they saw no one there. "Tsk, stupid animals," the receptionist said before moving back to write some things on her notepad unaware that Naruto stood right in front of her. He waved at her, but he got absolutely no response. The grin on his face could have split his entire visage in half, but he did not dare laugh out for fear of breaking the technique. Of course, he could mind-wipe everyone who saw, but that was just too much effort. He jumped up and down. He made some ridiculous faces at her before moving to the side.

" **Do you have any idea what Jiraiya would do to have his hands on this technique?"** Kyuubi asked. Naruto wanted to groan but held it in. Knowing that pervert, there would be no woman safe from his clutches. Granted, Naruto was kind of tempted to do the same thing to this woman in front of him, but he showed restraint. Work now. Fun later.

The young jinchuuriki walked effortlessly through the halls. Medic-nin, regular shinobi, and patients alike had no idea he was among them. This reminded him of the time he went to a realm and was the only shinobi in his village to completed 100% of his missions using only stealth. Eat your heart out stealth-lovers. Though the attempts at creating this technique were quite…disastrous at one point that he would NOT go over. That was bad. Very bad.

In any case, Naruto left the more mild injuries for later. Right now, he needed desperation and things like that appeared in a very special part of the Hospital, better known as the RA, the Resting Area, the place for all patients awaiting their time to pass away along with their family, friends, and anyone else willing to come. Let it be known, Naruto wasn't going to become a savior of the people or perform that fake miraculous nonsense that cultist leaders tried to trick people into following them. That was ridiculous in every facet of imagination. Naruto was going to help people. While he loved having fun, he loved helping people in need as well. Which was why he hesitated going to the 'Evil Route' at the moment. It was such an antithesis to his ideals as a person. **"Boo hoo! Just go in and save people already! I'm dying of boredom here!"** Kyuubi said. Tsk, no one appreciated a good dialogue anymore.

Naruto entered the wing and dropped his invisibility. He could hear the weeping of some friends and family. Most likely this meant that he hadn't gotten to some of them in time. He walked through the area for a moment. He turned around a corner and managed to find what he was looking for. "Does it hurt, son?" a man asked. Naruto glanced at the door. He saw a male and female shinobi standing around their son.

"Not…too…much. I…had…fun…drawing yesterday. The nurses…helped…me," he gasped out. His mother planted kisses on the top of his head. His father held his hand as tight as he could. They both struggled not to collapse to pieces in front of their son. He had been born with a very rare and fatal chakra condition. Despite all of the family's tries and funds, the doctors had not been able to treat him. Only someone of Tsunade Senju's prowess could have worked such a miracle and no one had seen her in years. He was…slated to die in a couple of hours. He had been stuck in the hospital for nearly five years.

They watched his eyes grow tired. Each time he closed them they wondered if he would ever open them again. Their breath stilled, but they sighed happily when they noticed him fall asleep. Just…a bit more time. They had just a bit more time. "Come on. We should let him rest. We can return with some ice cream for him later," the husband said. His wife agreed, and he led her out. They couldn't even turn the door before they heard Naruto clear his throat.

"Yo! Want me to heal your son for you?" Naruto asked. The two shinobi parents stared at him in utter shock, whether from his words or his presence, he wasn't sure. Though, he could tell Kyuubi rolled his eyes.

" **Subtle brat. Very subtle,"** Kurama said. Naruto pointedly ignored his bijuu and continued to smile at the parents. Both seemed to come out of the state they were in and quickly snarled at him. Naruto wasn't fazed by this. Actually, he had been expecting this reaction…sort of. The two glared down at him as if he were nothing more than a bug to be squashed beneath their heels. He merely continued to smile at them.

The husband grabbed his wife's hand. "Get out of here, boy. Someone like you doesn't belong here. Come on, Kairi. Let's go," the man said. Both walked past Naruto without a second thought. The blonde released a tired sigh. The thing with having an abysmal reputation was that it if you didn't know what you were doing then that reputation was extremely difficult to come back from. Again, that was if someone didn't know what they were doing.

Naruto kicked his feet. "And here I thought you'd want to see him eat more and more ice cream. Oh well, I guess them's the brakes. Hope you'll at least invite me to the funeral knowing that every happy parent you pass by with their child in hand, you know you could have had the same thing if only you listened to me. Yeah, I'll just go," Naruto said, running past them. They both stopped. They were stunned when he ran around the corner out of their view. He suddenly stopped and leaned against the wall. Now, the waiting game.

" **You're an asshole. I LOVE IT!"** Kyuubi said. Naruto chuckled but kept his joy unnoticeable. Couldn't be making it too obvious now, could he? _"Thank you. Thank you. I'm here all day, good sir!"_ Naruto remarked as he kept his eyes closed.

Not even two minutes passed before he heard running. "Kairi! Wait! You can't be serious!" the man said, and Naruto saw the woman run around the corner. She saw him. Worry, fear, and hope were written across the length of her forehead. It was kind of cute…if not a bit…depressing. She gave him a glare, but she removed it almost as quickly as Naruto had seen it.

"Can…Can you really do it? You're just a boy. What can you do that the best doctors in Konoha couldn't do?" she asked. Naruto seemed rather amused at her questions. Of course, they weren't so outrageous that he could outright laugh at them. They were valid points. He would have almost smacked her upside the head if she had let him go through with it without question. The blonde leaned off the wall. He noticed Kairi's husband walk around the corner with a sharp snarl on his face. No doubt he was still angry to even be looking at Naruto, but hopefully, they would both be changing their tune soon. Well, even if they didn't Naruto still had other ways of achieving his objective.

Naruto smiled when he turned the corner back to the room they had just left. "It's not so hard. You can't trust medic-nin nowadays to know right from left, never mind terminal illnesses. It's simple. I'm just going to erase the diseased parts of his body. That'll leave him right as rain," Naruto said, walking into the room. The two parents were right behind him. Naturally, they were anxious with the blonde being so close, but no doubt their love for their son's life was overshadowing their hate for the Kyuubi.

"You…You're lying! You're going to cast some…spell on him, aren't you?! You can't possibly be doing this just for our benefit! What do you want? Our souls?! I would expect nothing less from the Kyu…," Kairi placed a hand over his mouth just in time to see him grimace. Naruto raised an eyebrow, but he could see them shaking at the possible repercussions. The blonde turned back to the boy in front of him.

"Rest assured sir. I'm not the Kyuubi. I mean, if I was, well I'm sure I could have reduced you all to ash at this time if I really wanted to, which I can't…," Naruto paused. He most definitely could. However, he was going for Overlord this time. No point in letting it all go to waste at this point. However, it was obvious that the parents didn't believe him. Naruto shrugged. They would see the difference in time.

"Whatever. You must still want something. What do you want?" he asked. Naruto raised an eyebrow and faced them.

He raised three fingers. "Three things. One, don't tell Hokage-Jiji about this. I don't want him to find out yet. Do so and I'll reverse the treatment immediately. I'll have to expose him to regular doses of my chakra. I imagine in a month he'll be fine. Two, when I ask you for a favor, return it. No matter what it is. Three, the least you could both do is be pleasant with me!" Naruto said which got them both by surprise. Naruto resisted the urge to scoff.

"Honestly, looking at all your glaring and snarling faces just ruins my day. Would it hurt to get some 'Good mornings'? Or whatever? I'm not saying we gotta be friends or something, but can I at least get a hello?!" Naruto asked. The husband was about to say something but Kairi stopped him. He glanced at her in surprise. Naruto watched her bow her head.

"I will go above and beyond that if you would please save my son, Naruto-san. My husband, Saiga, will as well." She said without hesitation. Her husband, Saiga, had never seen her so desperate. Admittedly, he was too. He loved his son and he would have given anything to have him healed, but…this just sounded too good to be true. Never mind that the boy was now aware of his status, but…he was asking them to feign ignorance to the leader of the village. This smelled of shiftiness. Yet, she looked at him with those big blue eyes of hers that he loved so much. He just couldn't handle it.

"Kairi, are you sure about this?" Saiga asked. He watched his wife take his hands into her own. Not to be rude, but if Naruto had a watch he would have been looking at it REAL condescendingly right now. Kairi kissed Saiga's cheek.

"Please dear. I don't care what it might cause us, but I don't want to have to watch them bury our son before he's had a chance to live his life. We've tried everything and no one's been able to help us. Day in and day out, we've kept receiving pities and condolences. I don't want to hear those anymore! I want to spend more time with our son!" she said fervently. Saiga growled, but he hung his head down. He couldn't disagree with these emotions at all.

He turned back to Naruto and quickly nodded. Seeing this, the realm jumper placed his hand on the boy's head. He closed his eyes. His hands glowed a bright yellow light which filled the room. **"By the power of our god, Kyuubi no Yoko. I cleanse your body of all ailment and imperfection. By this decree will you become strong and serve the village well. In you are born the flames of existence. Let them well,"** Naruto said. Saiga and Kairi couldn't even form words when they saw their son beginning to levitate. They actually wondered if they were even looking at the same blonde they had been regarding with scrutiny until they bore witness to four angelic wings sprout from his back. Naruto breathed a cool air over their son's body. If Kairi and Saiga were honest, they almost felt their knees drop in reverence. They watched their son take in a sharp breath of air, but this only lasted for a moment. His body then dropped without a sound. He had not awoken during this. Naruto rolled his shoulders.

"There, done. Be sure to get him some water when he wakes up. He's going to be thirsty when he wakes up. Oh, and remember to come with him to see me one day a week for a month. It'll be better for him. I doubt the medic-nin will be able to explain this one. See you guys later. I gotta get to school," Naruto said with a wave. He left the dumbfounded parents alone and, with the same technique to get himself into the hospital, he made his way out.

" **Was the whole 'angel' thing really necessary? You cured him as soon as you touched him. What's with the whole…flamboyant appearance?"** Kyuubi asked. Naruto shrugged his shoulders. He had never gotten to try such a thing before so why not do it now? Plus, humans always did tend to believe in something once they noticed it the first time. He was sure those two weren't going to forget what he had done for quite a while. Besides, those two were just the first of the one who would be joining his empire for this realm.

-x-

Naruto decided not to waste any more time and teleported in front of the Academy. He had long since sensed that no one was around so he could move without rousing suspicion. Naruto stepped into the academy and made his way towards his familiar classroom. He already knew he was late, but did he care? No, not really. He could run circles around these students, teachers, and even the Hokage if he wanted.

He came up to his classroom door. A confident grin, he opened the door. "GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!" Naruto hollered at the top of his lungs shocking his classmates and his teacher when he walked into the room. Everyone turned to see his exuberant face. He waved to them all releasing kisses the sounds of a cheering crowd.

He then climbed up on the teacher's desk. "What do you think, Iruka-sensei? 8.5 out of 10? I think the delivery could use some work, but I bet I could work in some small fireworks. Nothing to burn down the building, but you get my drift. So…what's your rating?" Naruto asked his teacher, friend, and, in the last realm, big brother figure. Not to say that there weren't a couple of realms that surprised even Naruto when Iruka betrayed him those times he stole the Sacred Scroll, but those were very rare worlds and Naruto could never be hurt at them, mostly because he knew what his own original Iruka was like.

"NARUTO!" Iruka shouted and slammed his textbook downward preparing to strike the blonde in front of him. However, his book slammed the table ushering in a loud bang through the room. The chunin teacher blinked in surprise before seeing Naruto at the edge of the desk very much amused at his teacher. "You're late!" Iruka hissed out, wrists on his hips. Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

"So I am. Thanks for noticing, sensei. Sorry about that. Had to go meet a friend in the hospital. Besides, your lessons are kinda boring. Necessary, yes, but still utterly, hopelessly, and agonizingly boring. I mean, sheesh sensei the least you could do is make it more exciting by having us act it out. Betcha even Kiba would pass this time," Naruto said.

The class was silent as Naruto spoke on and on about Iruka's teaching style. They had never seen the man so angry before. He looked like he was about to explode in a sea of anger. It definitely made some of the students laugh. Admittedly, they all did it at some point, but to ignite the anger of Iruka was to ignite the flames of Hell down upon a person. Not even Kiba was that dumb. Possibly.

"So, with that being said, can we all go home now? Since I've just debunked at least fifty lessons of yours." Naruto said. Iruka balled his fists enough to turn his skin pale. He raised his fist into the air and his target was the top of his disrespectful student's head. The veins on the top of his head pumped themselves in full force.

"CUT THE STUPID JOKES!" Iruka hollered and slammed down, but a surge of pain ran through his body. He clutched his hand in agony when he realized that he had left a dent in the table. The table minus one Naruto. Iruka glanced left and right and the only gasp of the females had the teacher watching the blonde cup Hinata's chin. He stared into her eyes much to the Hyuuga heiress' embarrassment.

Naruto couldn't help loving the way Hinata blushed. It was too easy to see her thoughts. Sheesh, he must have really been a numbskull when he didn't realize it at first. The signs were so obvious that one should have just beaten him with a stick to see it. It made Naruto almost groan when he thought about it. "You know Hinata-chan, you're very cute. In another time, I think I might have fallen in love with you. I bet you'd be such a wildcat if we did have a future together. But…another lifetime I guess. Make no mistake, you're a very attractive girl," Naruto said and kissed her cheek. Needless to say, Hinata quickly fainted which made the Kyuubi laugh out ringing Naruto's ears.

Seeing that his work was done, leaving everyone surprised, he rolled off the desk and onto the floor. He quickly noticed Iruka's expression. So, the blonde decided to have some pity on his teacher. He walked down the steps until he was in front of Iruka. Naruto grabbed the chunin's hand and quickly healed it. Iruka breathed a sigh of utter relief. However, he quickly noticed exactly _who_ was healing him. "Naruto…you know medical ninjutsu?" Iruka asked.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "Oh trust me, Iruka-sensei. There is much I know that you'd be surprised at, but I guess I fooled around too much. I'll go take my seat," Naruto said, his hands resting on the back of his head. Iruka really wanted to say something, but he just sighed and allowed Naruto to join. It would be too much of a pain otherwise.

Naruto could feel the stares on him. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, well, not for him anyway. He half paid attention to the lesson in front of him. He had heard this thing at least a hundred times in a hundred ways. They were all really no different from each other. Perhaps he wasn't even aware of the lesson because before he noticed it…the bell had rung signifying the end of the class. He pushed himself up and watched the girls take away the fainted Hyuuga. Honestly, if this Hinata had met one of the other Hinata counterparts from the other realms he went to then she wouldn't stand a single chance.

Shaking his head, he pushed himself out of his seat. If he recalled then now was taijutsu practice, chakra practice, and then shuriken jutsu practice. Now the taijutsu…made the blonde smirk. He didn't see it, but he knew the Kyuubi was smiling as well. Oh, this was going to be fun. This was going to be SO fun. And, Naruto had just the idea to make it even more fun!

The class waited outside. Various matches had finished, but no one had seen Naruto for a bit. Either he was getting reprimanded by Iruka, or he had ditched again. Both were plausible theories. However, they didn't stop them from speaking about what they had seen.

"Heh, Naruto sure told you, Kiba," Chouji said which had the Inuzuka heir snarling. Akamaru gave Chouji a growl of his own, but the big-boned boy ignored the canine. Shikamaru leaned against the railing a tad confused. He had never seen Naruto act so…brazen before. Sure, the blonde was a tad…okay OVERLY eccentric, but the complete disregard for any type of authority was odd even for the Nara heir.

"Shut up. I hope I get him in my match! I'll mop the dirt with him!" Kiba argued back. Chouji just laughed and Shikamaru sighed tiredly. Why did he have to be friends with such energetic individuals? He'd rather be sleeping at this very moment. He wondered if he could just forfeit the match that he would go up against. This whole day seemed like a hassle.

"Oi, pay attention genin or you'll be disqualified when I call your name," Mizuki, another teacher, and friend of Iruka Umino, spoke. The three genin quickly straightened up and the white-haired chunin glanced at the lists of students. He gave a silent smirk to himself. He wanted to make sure that no one saw it. However, he was not careful enough. "Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke, your match begins!" Mizuki called.

Almost instantly the other boys of the group groaned. "Che, of course, Sasuke's get the easy one. Lucky jerk!" Were only some of the comments presented amongst the boys, but they quickly had to cover their ears in utter disgust when they heard the girls squeal. Sasuke snorted and made his way into the middle of the field.

"Wooo! Sasuke-kun! Good luck! Beat that loser!" The girls shouted and cheers, waving to the last of the Uchiha clan. Sasuke ignored them and waited for the blonde genin to get into the fighting stance with him. He had been slightly intrigued that the jokester of the class had moved in some surprising speeds. Naturally, the Uchiha would not have admitted this.

As the girls cheered, everyone glanced around to see Naruto was nowhere to be seen. Mizuki snorted. "Uzumaki Naruto! You're fighting Uchiha Sasuke! Come to the center of the field!" Mizuki called a bit louder to make sure he was heard by the entire group. He glanced around, but he couldn't find the blonde jinchuuriki either.

Ino chuckled. "I bet he ran away. I would too if I had to fight Sasuke-kun. That's probably the smartest thing he's done since…ever!" Ino said. These thoughts were quickly explored by the rest of the student body. They all began to laugh aside from a couple of individuals.

"Yeah! Ino's right! Sasuke-kun's too cool to ever lose to that idiot! No doubt he's off sulking somewhere!" Sakura Haruno, the former friend and current rival of Ino Yamanaka. This was met with more plausible cheers and squeals. If Sasuke were honest, they were getting a bit too high for him. He would like nothing more than to tell them all to shut their mouths.

Seeing that Naruto wasn't coming, Mizuki was more than ready to call Sasuke the winner of the match and have the Uchiha face another target before massive screaming flooded the area easily drowning out the female classmates in the area. "KYA! Naruto-kun, look this way! He's so cool! Naruto-kun, I made you lunch! Who's the loser who's going to fight you today? Kick their butt!" The others heard. The girls of the class slowly quieted themselves in when they saw Naruto walk into the field. However, following him had to be at least fifteen to twenty female kunoichi of equal or greater age by a year of the current female classroom. No one could hold their surprise when the blonde confidently walked into the field.

"Ladies, ladies, please. There's enough of me to go around, dattebayo." Naruto remarked. He paid no attention to the rest of his classmates. Chouji dropped his bag of chips. Kiba's mouth dropped to the ground. Seriously, how dirty was that? Shikamaru leaned up off the railing, his mind failing to comprehend just what he was looking at.

Hell, if Shikamaru was confused then every other male and female of Naruto's student body was utterly floored, aside from Shino Aburame. Not even Mizuki could keep the surprise off his face when he noticed the girls following the blonde. They watched Naruto chuckle when he took a girl's hand and quickly kissed it. The class watched her swoon before fainting. This had the rest of his crowd roaring for more.

"Is that Naruto? When did he get so popular?!" Ino asked. She couldn't believe the number of harlots suddenly following the dead last of the academy. Sakura couldn't even believe her eyes. The pink-haired academy student wanted to scrunch her face in disgust. Who would like Naruto? The very thought wanted to make her gag. He was just the dead last! Who would cheer for him?!

Suddenly, the girls who cheered for Sasuke felt rather…intimidated by the cheering of the crowd. Naruto was a couple of steps from entering the field. He turned back to his crowd. "Now then ladies, I think I have to fight Uchiha Sasuke. Enjoy it to your heart's content. I'll make sure to win for all of you, dattebayo." Naruto remarked. He opened his shirt and pulled out a white lily flower. He took a smell and sighed happily before throwing it to the ground.

"KYA! IT'S MINE! I SAW IT FIRST! GIMME GIMME GIMME!" The girls shouted as they dashed at the symbol of Naruto's affection. Naruto shook his head before he turned back to his class. He enjoyed their stupefied looks. He shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't see why you don't like your fangirls, Sasuke. It doesn't take much to control them. You just gotta play on their tendencies," Naruto said. He blew an air kiss them. They sighed happily at him before moving off to the side. Couldn't have the coolest academy student in the history of the universe losing to distraction. They got themselves seated next to the academy class.

Sasuke growled at Naruto and tapped his fingers impatiently. "Are you quite done, Naruto-san? We need to get started," Mizuki said. Naruto rolled his shoulders. He glanced at the last Uchiha. Kyuubi would have outright laughed at Sasuke's face if he wasn't already laughing at what Naruto had done prior.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Can we hurry this up? I have to return to my adoring public," Naruto said. Sasuke growled. He was not pleased. Everyone took notice of what Naruto was doing. The females of his class snarled before they turned to the cheering ladies of Naruto's group.

"Ugh, why would you cheer for someone like Naruto? He's going to get his butt kicked! Sasuke's going to destroy him!" Ino challenged them. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw the murderous glares from his crowd. Dare she say she even took a step back from fear.

One of the girls quickly turned her nose up at the Yamanaka heir. "Are you kidding? Anyone who can't beat someone with the head of a duck's ass shouldn't even be in this academy! I bet Naruto-kun ends your limp-dicked boy-toy with one punch! We'll tell you what victory tastes like," she said. Ino, Sakura, and the rest of the girls stood slack-jawed.

"Naruto beat Sasuke-kun? You're all crazy! I can't wait to see you all cry! He's gonna be begging for mercy" Sakura said, but she shivered when a kunai sailed past her face nicking her pink hair. The kunai stabbed itself into a tree. She saw the utterly displeased face on another of the girls.

"YOU WANT TO SAY THAT AGAIN, YOU BTICH?!" she asked, but her fellow sisters quickly calmed her down. She sucked her teeth before she went back to cheering. Needless to say, but Sakura made sure not to go anywhere near those girls.

Sasuke and Naruto stared at each other. "Tell you what Sasuke. How about we make this interesting? Being the generous, lovable, kind-hearted soul that I am, I'll give you a free shot on me then I'll knock you out in one hit. Don't want to keep my ladies waiting," Naruto said. Sasuke stiffened. His class and Mizuki felt their jaws drop at the sheer audacity of the boy in front of them. Naruto…knock Sasuke out? That sounded like a dream! Hell, it sounded too farfetched to even be a dream. However, they covered their ears in the face of his applauding crowd stating just how kind and generous he was to his enemies. Naruto waved at them.

Sasuke balled his fists and gritted his teeth. This dead last dared mock him?! Sasuke was the best! "Begin," Mizuki said. Sasuke wasted utterly no time. He closed the distance between himself and Naruto almost instantly. Fine! A free victory was still a victory nonetheless. Sasuke brought his fist back and slammed Naruto in the face. He poured as much of his power into the blonde as he could. Everyone stilled for a moment. Sasuke's smirk for a brief moment, but it gave way to a snarl when he saw Naruto smirk.

Naruto brushed his cheek. "Hmm, not even first blood. Couldn't tell if you were even giving me a face massage or not," Naruto said. The cheering of his crowd thundered in the field which had his class groaning. It was official, Naruto fangirls were hella worse than Sasuke fangirls. No one ever thought they would be saying that. Mizuki clenched the sides of his clipboard.

Sasuke jumped back while Naruto shook his head. He then craned his neck. The Uchiha quickly took a stance. "Don't bother Sasuke. That stance won't save you," Naruto said. Sasuke suddenly swallowed a gulp and a bead of sweat fell down his face. Where…where did this sudden pressure come from? The class and the girls watched. One in suspense and the other in joy.

"You want to bet, Dobe? Then just try to hit me!" Sasuke said when he charged at Naruto again. The smile on Naruto's face faded away. Sasuke quickly dashed to the side. The blonde realm jumper raised an eyebrow. So…this world's Sasuke was just a tad smarter than the previous one. Interesting.

Sasuke released a breath. Why? Why was he so tense? This was just the dobe! He wasn't a threat. Yet, he felt like he would have been crushed if he continued. He released a growl which made Naruto roll his eyes.

"Okay, I don't have time for this. Sheesh, I almost preferred the old you," Naruto said before appeared in front of Sasuke with his foot raised. He slammed it down over Sasuke's head sending the Uchiha crashing into the ground cracking the earth beneath him and kicking up the dust around them.

No one said a word. Once the dust settled, Mizuki dropped his notepad. Everyone stared at Naruto standing over Sasuke, the Uchiha passed out, small drips of blood escaping his lips. Naruto stared down at the Uchiha. He really hoped he didn't kill him. Reversing time would have been a pain.

" **Oh, come on. It would have given this village character,"** Kyuubi said. Naruto shrugged. Maybe, maybe not. He wasn't about to argue the ifs, ands, or buts regarding the situation. He picked up Sasuke by his shirt and grabbed him back to the group.

"I'm done, right? Someone look at this guy," Naruto said throwing Sasuke to Mizuki. He then walked back to his fan club. Everyone watched them shower the blonde with attention. The white-haired chunin instructed someone to take Sasuke to the infirmary. Naruto grinned. Who knew school could be so fun?

The rest of the school day ended with Naruto getting stared at this day more than any other day of his life. Some tried to ask him where this sudden change had been coming from, but Naruto only answered them with grin and half-replies. He merely told them to figure it out. It wasn't until the day was over and that Naruto and his fangirls left the school. Once they were a ways off, Naruto gave them all a thumbs up. "Nice one," Naruto said. The girls grinned before revealing themselves to be his clones.

"Damn that was fun. We gotta do that again! No kidding!" The clones said before they popped from Naruto's vision. The blonde laughed to himself and took himself out of the bushes. He then stretched himself.

" **So…what's the plan now?"** Kyuubi asked. Naruto raised an eyebrow before he focused his senses on the negative emotions in the village. He smirked when he spotted Danzo and Root below the village. However, Naruto didn't feel the need to deal with him just yet. No, he would have his fun with that old coot later. For now, he needed to get his first pawn in his goal to become an Overlord. He turned towards the Academy infirmary. His eyes turned hungry.

-x-

Saiga and Kairi watched the doctor drop his clipboard. "I-It's a miracle. It's gone. It's entirely gone. He's been healed." The doctor said. The two parents were utterly speechless. Hell, even their son couldn't form words in his mouth. They quickly grabbed their son in a tearful hug. Kairi kissed her son while Saiga ruffled his hair. Their son laughed in their arms. The doctor, on the other hand, looked over the notes one more time.

"I can't believe it. H-How is this possible? It was supposed to be fatal. He wasn't supposed to even see the moon fall tonight. This…this has to be an act of Kami," he said. The two parents stiffened for a moment, but they never stopped holding their son as if he would disappear from them right this moment.

The doctor coughed for a moment. "I…I would like to study this for a bit longer, but if these charts continue to read right then he should be able to leave at the end of the week. Sir, Ma'am, you have truly been blessed. I'll…leave you alone to get yourselves together," He said before he left. Kairi and Saiga kissed their son.

Neither said anything. They knew it was not Kami they had to thank for this. Both cried for their son in joy. He hugged both of his parents. "This calls for a celebration. Where do you want to go at the end of the week son?" Saiga asked. The smile on his face must have been a godsend to the parents. However, they never forgot who was responsible for it. They also remembered the stipulations. Never would they have thought this, but…Kami bless Uzumaki Naruto. Kami…Kami bless the Kyuubi.

-x-

Sasuke opened his eyes and leaned up. His head was killing him. Upon looking into a mirror, he noticed the bandages wrapped around his head. "Feeling rattled, princess Satsuki?" a voice asked. Sasuke turned his head to the window and he noticed Naruto smiling at him. The Uchiha quickly growled and all memory returned to him of what had happened. Could one even call that a fight? Sasuke had more been humiliated than anything else.

"What do you want? Come to gloat in my face? Well, don't get used to it. I let my guard down. You're still a dobe," Sasuke said. Naruto scrunched his nose. How cute, protecting his little insignificant pride. Still, Naruto casted those insults to the side. After all, he was the bigger man. He was also the stronger man and the sexier man.

" **HAREM SAYS I!"** Kyuubi said. Naruto rolled his eyes. He was still thinking about it, but it would be on the backburner for the moment. Right now, he had a little Uchiha to manipulate. Yeah, manipulate was a good word. If there was one thing the realm jumper had learned from the tons of realms he had visited with Sasuke in them, the Uchiha was far too unable to think for himself, male or female version. Naruto still remembered when he saw Sasuke as a girl. Very…odd.

Naruto leaned against the window sill. "I can help you kill Itachi," Naruto said. Sasuke sat in silence. He turned to the blonde in utter anger. Of course, Naruto knew what he was doing. Itachi was always one of the trigger words for Sasuke no matter the realm.

The blonde waved off the Uchiha's miserable attempt at forcing his killer instinct on him. "Tch! Get out! Get out before I kill you, Dobe. You think my life is a joke?!" Sasuke asked. He was surprised when Naruto smacked him over the head. This gave a grunt of pain from the Uchiha.

"Don't be stupid, Sasuke. Salvage whatever meaningless pride you have for later. I know you. You would watch the entire world burn as long as it meant someone gave you the key to killing Itachi. Of course, I could just knock you out and still make you a part of my plans anyway. Want another concussion? I'm happy to oblige," Naruto said, cracking his knuckles for emphasis. Sasuke tried to make the Uzumaki burst in a sea of flames from his stare, but it only amused Naruto to no end.

"Tch, I must have punched you harder than you thought because you're crazy, Dobe. What would you know of beating an Uchiha? Let alone Itachi?" Sasuke asked. Naruto turned his head to the side before he gave a quick smile. He then closed his eyes.

"Sasuke…," Naruto said before he opened them. Sasuke quickly stiffened when he felt the weight of the blonde's eyes upon him. "…You have no idea of what I know and what I've done," Naruto answered. The grip on Sasuke's sheets tightened. He looked like he was ready to pounce on his academic classmate, but the pain in his body made him stop. He was much too injured to attempt to do that.

Seeing this, the blonde jinchuuriki turned around and headed for the window. "You see, Sasuke. I'm going to make this entire world mine. I'm going to rule over all of it. For that, I thought it'd be nice to include you in my adventures, dattebayo. I'm going to change the world, Sasuke. I'm going to fight people you would never have thought. People who would make Itachi out to be a mere insignificance. If you join me, you'll be fighting those people too. You will be under my command as my first Grand General. You will be the Grand General of Overlord Uzumaki and the Whirlpool Empire. If you don't want to join me, well, that's fine. I don't specifically need you, but I figure killing two birds with one stone is much less of a hassle than doing it on my own, dattebayo. I give you the power you want, you give me your undeniable and unwavering loyalty. Still, I would advise you not get in my way nor cross my path if you refuse me. On the same note, I'm sure you know not to tell anyone about this, not even the Hokage. I'll let you think on this. If you will join me, then meet me in Training Ground 7 at 1 am three days from now. If you don't then don't let me see you at all that night. Cya Satsuki-chan," Naruto said and jumped out of the window.

Sasuke couldn't speak. He looked down at his sheets. Thoughts and questions filled his mind and they would do so for those full three days.

Meanwhile, Naruto smiled. **"You know full well the Uchiha's going to join you. What's with this whole ultimatum talk?"** Kurama said. Naruto snickered to himself. He continued to rush along the rooftops.

"Oh, come on Kurama. Where's the fun in knowing everything? We gotta spice this world up. In the last one, I was hated and became the Hokage. This time, I'm going to rule over the whole world before moving onto the next realm." Naruto said. Kyuubi chuckled and closed his eyes.

"Besides…,"

Kyuubi opened one eye.

"…I am unpredictable after all. Gotta keep it that way, dattebayo." Naruto said as he raced towards his next objective.

* * *

 _ **KG: Ah, that felt good. Again, this is just a story away from my other stories. I don't expect you to take it seriously. It's just something I feel I can write if I'm feeling some writer's block elsewhere. Again, this isn't the only realm Naruto is going to go to. Nope, I got so many realms for him to try out. The only thing to figure out is if I should allow any character to keep their memories from before to transfer with him.**_

 _ **Wifey: yeah, so hard to have your level of creativity.**_

 _ **KG: Yeah it is…WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!**_

 _ **Wifey: Figure it out, Mr. Creativity.**_

 _ **KG: You are such a bitch.**_

 _ **Wifey: Yeah well, I married an asshole. It comes with the territory.**_

 _ **KG: ARGH!**_

 _ **Wifey: Gonna blow a gasket Mr. Creativity?**_

 _ **KG: Hmmm, maybe I should tell the others about what you did for science class that one time, Ms. Astronaut.**_

 _ **Wifey: You wouldn't dare.**_

 _ **KG: Try me.**_

 _ **Wifey:…**_

 _ **KG:…thought so.**_

 _ **KG: Anyway, that's all guys. Stay Breezy, protect what's important to you, review, and SEND ME…hmmm….SEND ME….uhhh….SEND ME….UNDERRATED MOVIES! Also, RESPECT THE DAMN CREAM! Whooo that felt good.**_

 _ **Wifey: idiot.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**KG: Oh no! OH NO! W-Writer's block! However am I going to combat this situation? Oh, woe is me! I don't have an answer to work through it! Won't someone please save me?**_

 _ **Wifey: You're an idiot!**_

 _ **KG: Ignoring! Now then…where was I? Ah yes. Won't someone rescue me from this terrible…horrible…**_

 _ **Wifey: He liked the story and he's doing another one.**_

 _ **KG:…**_

 _ **Wifey: Thank me later.**_

 _ **Music of the week: Lay Me Down ft. Sarah Westen**_

 _ **Quote: "**_ _ **As long as you're having fun and still doing stuff, it doesn't matter what other people think," by Nick Carter**_

* * *

"And I can't get oooooover you! Bow! Bow! No matter what I tell myself…baby!" Naruto sang as he walked across the open ocean. The night calmed him when he looked up at the stars in the sky. The smell of salt, sea, and adventure stung his nose. He could hear Kyuubi bring the background noise to his song and he happily stepped over the wet surface. The jinchuuriki and his bijuu whistled the rest of music they had been singing to themselves. Not a care in the world was upon the realm warper. He kicked the water in his face and laughed as he did so.

"I think about the love we had for our children!" he sang as he heard the sea rumble. Naruto smiled to himself as did Kyuubi. The sea roared, and they could feel immense pressure upon them. Massive waves crashed over them, but Naruto held up his hand and moved the ginormous bodies of water out of his pathway. His chakra kept him from being swept away. The sea exploded upwards. Naruto took a step to the left and a giant tentacle pierced the ocean just inches away from him.

Naruto smirked. "I think about the way we laughed without reason, I think about us, girl," he sung before he jumped through the air and backflipped away from three more tentacles aiming to dismember him. He landed on the sea and perfectly balanced himself. He couldn't help licking his lips. He wondered if this sea beast would make a good addition to his empire. It wasn't like Kumogakure was going to need it. Besides, this guy was much better serving Naruto's purposes than becoming snake food.

" **Maybe we should cut off one tentacle. Let him know you mean business. You gotta instill the fear in them early. They'll respect you later,"** Kurama said. Naruto tilted his head to the side. Hmm, he wasn't sure that was such a good idea. Was there a need to weaken his future kingdom's defenses like that? Admittedly, no one would have been able to defeat him anyway, but that didn't mean he wanted to see all of his glorious work attempting to get sieged on. However, this was also a game. There was no point in a game without some measure of risk.

Kyuubi grinned evilly. **"We can also make takoyaki out of his tails. Just one would last us for more than six months,"** Kyuubi told the blonde. Naruto's hair shadowed his eyes.

SOLD!

"I love the way you think, Kurama," Naruto said. Kurama bowed his head. Honestly, sometimes even the all-powerful could be gullible when they wanted to be. Both swiftly focused their attention on the massive yellow eyes and black pupils staring at the seven-year-old realm jumper. Tentacles splashed around the ocean floor violently. Naruto rolled his shoulders.

"You don't remember me, do you? Guardian of the Island Turtle?" Naruto asked staring at the large cephalopod glaring down at him. Naruto turned his attention back to the massive island turtle.

He couldn't sense any Kumo shinobi there which was an unfortunate shame. He wouldn't have minded getting people to fear his name by roughing up a couple of Kumo nin. His young body might not be there physically, but he could have just knocked them out with his chakra alone. That's right, Naruto could knock down bitches before they even looked at him.

The jinchuuriki took a step forward and tentacle swipe across the ocean was his response. The sea blasted into his face. Once it settled, Naruto appeared unperturbed by his wet hair. Ladies love a man in wet hair after all. However, the wet clothes were the inconvenience. Slowly, hot steam expelled from his body drying the water from his clothes. This only took a moment and the steam settled away. "Cute." Naruto said. It didn't attack him just yet. This was also very interesting. It seemed to be giving him to option to turn away and run. In the last realm, this guardian was as temperamental as a storm at sea. It attacked anyone and anything that came within range of that giant turtle. Naruto still remembered when he and Kyuubi had their mock battle that time. Such a time waster, but they had to appease the masses of course. Naruto had wanted to settle on cards, but Kyuubi said it would be good to gauge where they stood. The blonde didn't mind.

"Alright listen here, you reject movie monster. You can either submit to me quietly or I can turn one of your tentacles into takoyaki. I'm feeling very hungry right now," Naruto said. The Guardian of the Island Turtle blinked. If it could laugh it would have been shaking the whole ocean. The little pea in front of it was almost hilarious. Just looking at it had to make him squint his massive eyes. Naruto raised an eyebrow. He could somehow feel the creature's amusement at his demand. Forgive Naruto if he was a tad annoyed.

" **I mean, you can't really blame him. No matter how strong you are, you're a shorty. You're a shrimp. You're a tadpole. You're a little leaf in the forest. You're so short, he probably wonders if he's looking at a speck of sand on the beach,"** Kurama laughed which annoyed Naruto more. He balled his fists and he chuckled in a dark tone. The orange fox smirked. You were too easy, Naruto. You were way too easy sometimes.

Naruto stared up at the ginormous squid and reached into his pocket. "Heh, you think I'm kidding, eh?" he asked and pulled out…a soda can. Naruto opened it, the snap of the cap in his ears. He turned around and took a drink. Mmmm, that was the stuff. The creature was immensely confused by this.

"By the time I turn around, you better be assuming the position, or I'll make you regret it. Now, allow me to finish my soda," Naruto said taking another gulp. Damn, if only they made this brand in different tastes! Wait, Naruto was going to rule the world. He could force them to make it in different flavors! Oh, hell yeah, that was one for the list as well. He could hear the massive waves behind him. He just continued smiling.

Naruto finished his soda and crushed it into powder. Couldn't go polluting his empire's oceans, now could he? He turned and…the squid still looked at him. Naruto paused. He tilted his head to the side. _"Kyuubi…why isn't he assuming the position? I know I specifically told him to assume the position. Yet…I'm seeing a whole lot of not position assuming! Did I come to the wrong realm?"_ The blonde asked. Kyuubi snorted for a moment.

" **Ask him. Not me. He's the one looking at you like you're stupid. Well, stupider I should say. I think he's actually mocking you with that stare at this point. He probably thinks you're about to turn around and go home,"** Kyuubi said. Naruto closed his eyes and took a big sigh. The seven-year-old raised a finger to the giant squid. He looked at the squid…still not assuming the position.

"Remember, you asked for this," Naruto said holding out the rest of his hand. A small blue orb quickly appeared. Its size could not have been bigger than a marble. Naruto rolled his arm back and threw it at the enormous cephalopod. The ball shined bright as it sailed through the air. The squid looked at the ball. Suddenly the marble exploded into a massive size easily overpowering the squid in its giant form. It crashed into the Guardian of the Island Turtle with overwhelming force. The seas rocked beneath its power and spouts of water shot into the sky. The waves of water drowned the guardian under their weight. It screeched in pain as it fell to the floors below.

Naruto yawned and scratched his head. "Oh, come on. It wasn't that bad. It was on the lowest setting too. Why does no one take me seriously? I clearly warned him," Naruto said with a shrug of his shoulders. He looked down the depths. Honestly, could this thing be any more dramatic? It wasn't dead. Naruto wasn't about to make all of the effort to come out here without getting something to protect his waters. Come to think of it…maybe he could recruit a certain fish shinobi that had been a pain in the ass on more than one occasion.

Naruto only had to wait about two minutes before the guardian sprung out of the seas. Its tentacles flared wildly at him in anger. The waves pushed and shoved. Had ships been along this sea then they would have met their demise long before they could figure out what the source of this storm was about. Naruto and the guardian squid stared each other down. **"He looks pissed,"** Kurama said. Naruto moved his mouth to the side.

"He's about to look like lunch soon!" Naruto said when he jumped over a tentacle. He swayed his body through the air as strikes and swipes flung at his body. He moved his head to the side from one and slapped the other away. Naruto closed his eyes and gave in another yawn. Damn this child body. It could still get hella tired if it wanted to. He breathed tiredly into one of his hands while the other slapped the tentacles away. The seas did not ruffle him, and the guardian did not move him. One of its tentacles moved to restrain him. The blonde jinchuuriki moved to the side, watching the tentacle swipe the air.

The giant cephalopod made a deep, rumbling noise. Naruto scratched his cheek when he saw the squid blast an immense volume of water at his location. Naruto's mouth thinned. The water blasted over his body and parted the open seas ushering in a wide explosion over the ocean. If squids could smile, then this one would have had a massive one on its face. That had been one of the most powerful water attacks in its arsenal. Truth be told, it wouldn't have resorted to that, especially for a child, but the blonde had forced his hand a bit. He couldn't let the Island Turtle get away from him for too long.

The Guardian watched the water settled and it must have been surprised because its tentacles chilled to a stop when he saw Naruto staring at it with a raised eyebrow. Despite the cascade of water, it had blown at the blonde, not a single piece of clothing or skin was wet. Naruto just seemed more annoyed than anything. He sighed. "You know. I was trying to be a team player. I WAS TRYING TO BE THE NICE GUY! AND THIS IS WHAT I GET?!" Naruto asked before placing up his finger. Neither Kyuubi nor the Guardian could even express surprise before a tentacle went sailing through the air. Blood poured through the air. The Squid backed away in pain when he saw one of its limbs floating in the sea.

"It's not gonna be one. I'm gonna take two! You hentai tentacled bastard!" Naruto called out. The blonde grinned evilly and sunk his finger into the waters below. The Squid screeched in pain as a surge of lightning exploded from the water and covered its body. The beast fell forward into the water. However, Naruto wouldn't let it end there. Seafood was best served grilled. He licked his lips. The things Kyuubi had seen…shall dare not pass a demon's lips for the eternity of the nations. He almost felt sorry for the poor bastard. _**HA! NOT!**_

"And I can't get oooooover you! No matter what I tell myself, baby! I can't stop lovin' you, girl! No matter how hard I try. Yea, yea! And I can't get over you, babe! And I don't know why! WOOOOOO!" Naruto sang as he pulled the Guardian with five orange tails behind him, courtesy of Kyuubi no Yoko, of course. Perhaps Naruto had a little too much fun with it, but he couldn't deny that the smell of grilled squid guardian was making him hungry. He was really looking forward to those squid balls when he got home. He skipped along the ocean.

" **So where are you going to keep him? I don't your apartment is Monster Squid-friendly,"** Kyuubi said. Naruto waved off his friend's concerns. Well, 'concerns' was probably the wrong word. Maybe, curiosity was a better word. Yeah, they would go with that. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, I'll just set him up in the Land of Eddies before I need him. I won't be needing him for like five to six years, so he can just grow there. I'm sure there's enough for him to eat. It won't be hard to seal him around the islands. Good thing I'm the only one who can do it. You know anyone else who can seal off five to ten islands? Yeah. Damn, I'm badass!" Naruto said. Kyuubi rolled his eyes, but he didn't correct his landlord.

Kyuubi raised an eyebrow. **"You're basing in Uzushiogakure? Isn't that a little boring? Even for you?"** Kurama asked. Naruto didn't rise to the obvious taunt and kept walking. Naruto wagged his finger back and forth. To be honest, this was just a tad irritating to the fox, but he would make a comment on this when it really got on his nerves. Which, judging by things, wouldn't be for very long.

"Hmmm, no. Admittedly, creating an eternal empire from the land of my ancestors sounds cool and all, but I'm pretty sure we did the 'rebuild Uzushiogakure' idea before in another realm. That's just going to be a temporary base of operations. I wanted Sasuke only because, even though he's hardly strong right now, he's still popular and so is his clan. That just makes it easier for the politics. We gotta have some politics otherwise this would be too easy. I dunno, it's an adventure. We'll think as we go along," Naruto spoke. Kurama didn't argue that point. Good to know that his jinchuuriki was taking an interest in those things, even if it took the Kyuubi like two realms to teach the brat about the nature of politics.

The blonde outstretched his hand. Quickly a portal opened up. "Alright, enjoy your new home you 1996 monster movie reject. Don't cause too much trouble for me, dattebayo!" Naruto shouted as the massive orange tails dragging his new guardian threw it into the portal letting it settle into the waters of Uzushiogakure. Naruto quickly sent off three clones through the same portal. They would contain the bastard for later.

"Now then, what do I do with my prizes?" Naruto asked, staring at the two enormous squid tentacles he had…pilfered from his new "friend." He tapped his chin in deep thought for a moment. It didn't take him long to snap his fingers. "AH HA!" Naruto said and sped through some handsigns. Extending his hand, a blast of ice covered the two tendrils in seconds. The blonde jinchuuriki surveyed his work. He seemed very pleased with himself. He then dusted off his hands.

"Well, I think that was fairly productive. Now I can seal them up and they'll be perfectly preserved. I might not have to worry about takoyaki ever again. Never mind that this is a squid and not an octopus, but it has tentacles so it's fine! It's still a hentai fantasy!" Naruto exclaimed. The Kyuubi opened an eye.

The fox rolled one his tails around. **"You know you should get some sleep. OP or not, you're still seven. Your body won't keep up with you."** Kyuubi said. Naruto quickly scrunched up his nose. Honestly, the first day of school in this realm had been enough. He wondered if he could have just left a clone there. Keh, it wasn't like there was any fear of it popping. Naruto doubted even Tsunade and the Raikage combined to pop his clone at full strength. Still, that would give Naruto more time to think. Sasuke would be joining him. He was pretty damn sure that he would. Naruto would have liked at least four more Grand General. The army would expand itself from there. Now, he had to gain some recognition. Where, oh where, was the best place to do that? Kurama read through his jinchuuriki's thoughts and his grin was quickly followed by Naruto. Anyone seeing that grin on their faces would have shivered at the sight unable to move until the ends of time.

Naruto opened another portal which showed his room. Time to have some fun! Oh, what joyous things could he come up with? He stepped into the portal. So many little piggies for the big bad fox to play with. Naruto would say wolf, but…Kurama would be giving him a headache if he did. Stupid foxes and wolves debate.

-x-

Naruto grunted as he tried to perform some upside-down sit-ups. He had decided to send a clone to school. Not like there was anything that could teach him that would surprise him anymore. Naruto had learned enough shinobi history to literally puke out the facts that would put the teaches to shame. It would have been hilarious to upstage them, but he had even more exciting things that belittling the teachers at the academy. He didn't feel the need to make Iruka's life _too_ stressful.

Now what he did want was to start setting some plans in motion. For that, he would be getting his second grand general. That would be two from Konoha and that would be the last of anyone from Konoha. **"So what are you waiting for? Go get her!"** Kurama said. Naruto grunted before he fell back and dropped to the ground. He grabbed a towel.

"Easy Kurama. We're having fun here, remember? 'sides, I need my physical strength back. Just relying on the chakra's boring. We already did the Speed Run route. Heh, remember when I made Hokage in a year? Was a good time, but we sucked all the fun out of it too fast. I'm trying to make it last this time. I should be in school so I can't increase my reputation with the village right now. However, that doesn't mean we can't have some type of fun," Naruto said with a grin on his face. Kyuubi didn't mind this.

Jonin, Chunin, and Anbu raced to the middle of the village. The Sandaime felt a bead of sweat fall down his face as the entire chakra was filled with malicious chakra. _"No! No! Naruto-kun! Please…don't give in!"_ Hiruzen thought as they moved as they as they could. Civilians cried and screamed. Some pushed and pulled others out of the way.

Naruto screamed in the middle of Konoha as he tore at his clothes. "IT'S A LIE! IT'S ALL A LIE!" Naruto screamed as he tore at his clothes. Kurama's chakra leaked through his body as his skin tore from his flesh. Almost instantly four tails blasted from his body. Naruto dropped to his knees.

"Hokage-sama, the seal is breaking! The Kyuubi is going to be released!" One of the Jonin exclaimed. Hiruzen gasped as a wave of red chakra crashed into the buildings breaking them down. Naruto roared at the army of shinobi in front of him. The roar reverberated through the village alerting everyone to the horror appearing before them.

"Naruto-kun, calm down! You have to calm down! What's wrong? Speak to me!" Hiruzen pleaded, but he could see the immense pain on Naruto's face. The blonde…rather dramatically fell to his side. The young jinchuuriki felt another three tails appear behind the four bringing the total to seven. Naruto swung his arm and a blast of pure chakra destroyed the structures in front of him. The blonde was even sure he might have killed some people. Erm…oops? Oh well, sometimes fun had its consequences.

"HOKAGE-SAMA!" The other shinobi called. It wasn't Naruto at the moment. Of course, the Hokage would have a soft spot for the boy, but this was an extreme matter. Hiruzen bit his lower lip. He would have to beg Minato for forgiveness at a later date. He hesitated to raise his hand, but he ultimately did so. He could only pray that they could still help Naruto later.

"Shinobi of Konoha, engage the Kyuubi!" Hiruzen shouted. In the depths of his mindscape, Naruto tilted his head to the side. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised by this, though he hadn't thought the Hokage would order the fight so quickly. He at least thought the man would try to reason with Naruto more. Admittedly, Naruto was going through with this anyway. He turned behind to see Kurama grinning.

"Having fun?" Naruto asked. The large nine-tailed fox snorted. Like he had to answer a question like that. Naruto grinned for a moment before he turned back to the scene in front of him. He supposed he should have kept this up a tad bit longer. He rolled his shoulders.

Naruto screamed as kunai and shuriken were stabbed into his body. Hiruzen held back the shame as he felt his heart crack into pieces when he saw the blood drip from Naruto's body. **"IT'S A LIE! YOU LIED TO ME KONOHA! THE CAKE IS A LIE!"** Naruto hollered as the ninth tail came forward. Naruto vanished in a burst of speed and tore through the shinobi around him. If you wondered where Minato was to stop his rampaging son, well…the man was on a temporary vacation. Courtesy of good 'ol OP Uzumaki Naruto sealing.

Hiruzen watched his shinobi drop to the ground as Naruto blasted through them all. The Kyuubi was stronger than the Hokage ever remembered. It was like no one could stop it. **"Katon: G** **ō** **kakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Grand Fireball Technique),"** At least a dozen shinobi called out. Their flames quickly synced themselves together and overcame the Kyuubi jinchuuriki's form. Naruto covered his body his body in chakra. These flames were no hotter for warming ramen, never mind hurting him.

The flames set ablaze the entire downtown area. "Hokage-sama, what is the situation?" Hiruzen turned around to see Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai dropping to the ground. He quickly gave them the rundown of the situation and the three jonin were not pleased with these developments. Kakashi turned back to the flames. Could…could he even kill his sensei's son? Would he have to face his sensei with disappointment again?

A deafening roar came over everyone which forced them to cover their ears. Naruto, the cloak of blood and chakra, covered his body. His pale, white eyes glared at the army in front of him. **"I told you, Konoha! I would get out! You think the Kit and I are one? HA! As if such a spineless child could hold my power! Now! For the lie you have committed, you shall burn! YOU LIED ABOUT THE CAKE!"** The Kyuubi shouted as the seal on Naruto's chest broke into pieces. The intent to kill filled the area and it wasn't long before the skies darkened. People shivered as everyone stared into the murderous, gleaming, hating eyes of the Kyuubi no Yoko. The Yondaime's sacrifice for every man, woman, and child in the village…had been for nothing. Everyone stared at the intimidating form of the Nine-tailed Fox. Any…anyone got a spare Sharingan?

"Kakashi, do you think you can subdue the fox?" Hiruzen asked. The one-eyed jonin growled. He honestly didn't know. He had never tried to control a tailed beast before…or at all for that matter. The others looked at the jonin with hope in their eyes. Kakashi wanted to hide away from the attention, but he turned back to the situation at hand.

"I can certainly try. It shouldn't be too complicated. It's just a giant ball of chakra," Kakashi said, though he most certainly didn't feel that way. However, that seemed to do amazing things for everyone's mood before they watched the Kyuubi raise its arms into the air.

" **And he shall smite the wicked! The lusters of flesh! The defilers! The traitors! The liars! The oath-breakers! The disgraced! You have been found wanting Konoha. By Kami's retribution, you shall be reduced to the ashes and fade away to the wind!"** Kyuubi said as they watched a massive ball of chakra appear in its hands. Hiruzen cursed.

"Buy the time for Kakashi! Stop the Kyuubi! Drive it out of the village!" Hiruzen shouted. A roar of courage came from the Konoha shinobi. Pretty soon, Kurama felt the explosions against his body, but they felt more like irritating flies than anything else. The Konoha shinobi stood before the bijuu. Kurama stood the face of their power. He noticed the familiar faces of Asuma and Kurenai in front of him.

" _ **Yo Kit, why not the Genjutsu Mistress? Look at that bod! Look at those eyes? I never said you couldn't have Konoha ladies. I'll admit, for someone as grand as me, they are much too insignificant, but for a fleshbag like you, I think they work out. I bet she's a freakin' squealer. You know you have a thing for the squealers. Hinata was one of them,"**_ Kyuubi said. Naruto tilted his head to the side. He gave Kurenai a look. True, she was hot. Naruto couldn't count the number of realms Kurenai ended up with Asuma in. It was almost ridiculous. How one-dimensional could one relationship get? Still, he could see a future with the Genjutsu Mistress.

He also didn't want to acknowledge the squealer comment. "I'll think about it," Naruto said off to the side. Kyuubi smirked before he turned back to the rest of the terrified villagers. **"RECEIVE JUDGEMENT MORTALS! AND SAY….,"** Kyuubi roared. Everyone tensed and got ready to back Kakashi up in his attempt to control the Kyuubi.

"… **.CHEESE!"** Kyuubi shouted as a massive light appeared over everyone. Amidst the burning buildings and feeling people, Naruto smirked from on top of Kurama holding a camera. "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you cuck your own shinobi village. The Konoha army couldn't hold their surprise when they saw Naruto laugh on the top of Kurama's head.

"HAHA! Look at their fuckin' faces! This is the greatest prank of the year! That's one for the wall!" Naruto cackled. Konoha watched the Kyuubi give them a sadistic grin. However, before anyone could speak Naruto snapped his fingers. The flames surrounding the village paused. The shinobi paused. Everything…paused. Civilians running from the action stopped. Shinobi trying to put out the flames before they stopped. Not a single person moved.

" **Ah, feels good to stretch the old legs. You do know that if we continue with this then no one in this village is going to trust you. Forget Kurenai, you won't even get Sasuke. I actually think we'll be executed,"** Kyuubi said, a smirk on his face. Naruto snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Please. Like they could kill us. Heck, remember that time Danzo tried to extract you from me and found out that I didn't die? It would take a lot to kill us. Hey! We'll get to meet Shinigami-chan again! Do you think Shin will be a girl in this realm?" Naruto asked. The Kyuubi shivered at the thought. He never found out why the Shinigami never seemed to like him. Why him? What had he done? He didn't get it.

" **Only you would make friends with the god of death, kit. Sorry, but I'm not getting into that hellhole. Now then, can you just perform the technique, so these people can get some normalcy?"** Kyuubi asked. Naruto tilted his head to the side and shrugged his shoulders.

He hopped off his bijuu's head and landed on the ground. Naruto looked at the frozen people. "You know, this wasn't all for fun. I did have a plan in mind for this. I just need to have a look at Konoha's force as a whole. I've never done that in-depth before and now's as good a time as any. I can take this time to create a booklet of Konoha forces. I'm going to rule this realm, so I need an understanding of its forces. Remember that time that realm where each village had less than fifty shinobi? This one obviously has at least fifty percent more than my own original world did. So the armies are a lot bigger, but that makes it more fun," Naruto said creating an army of clones. Each grabbed a piece of paper and started taking notes of everyone.

For himself, Naruto stared at Kurenai. He cupped her cheek and turned her up, down, and to the sides. Yeah, Kyuubi wasn't wrong. The red-eyed woman was very pretty and very powerful in her own right. He wasn't ashamed to say the Genjutsu Mistress, when he was much younger, was a source of fantasy for him. Why had he not considered charming her? Well, there was always a time for firsts.

"Oh, Lord Kyuubi. Guide your willing servant's hands and mind. Say I do the harem route you have commandeth of me! Who…am I to woo? Pick for me my brides to be!" Naruto claimed. Kyuubi stared at his landlord for a moment, however, he did not feel bad about this. So…Naruto was willing to go along with it? This would prove to be a very good situation in the future. Besides, the blond was already working for the fox's temples, priests, and priestesses. He supposed he could be fair as well.

Kyuubi raised his head into the air. **"My faithful servant! I have heard your pleas and your cries! I shall deign you mates worthy of your ability and your right as a future emperor! I challenge you! Claim the one before you as a mate! So by the eternal decree of the god of destruction, Kyuubi-sama!"** Kyuubi roared. Naruto turned back to Kurenai. Once all of the clones collected notes for him to collect, he slammed his hands together forcing chakra through her body.

"As you decree, My Lord! Watch over me!" Naruto called to him. The bijuu and the jinchuuriki then roared with laughter as Naruto spoke. **"Kinjutsu no Onmy** **ō** **ton: Jikan no Uranai (Forbidden Technique of Yin-Yang Release: Divination and Mitigation of Time),"** Naruto said. Quickly, everything around him began to reverse itself. The Kyuubi found himself sealed back into Naruto. Buildings were reconstructed, civilians came back to their original positions. The flames settled down and peace returned to Konoha.

Naruto chuckled tiredly as he dropped his hands. People walked in the streets none the wiser of what happened. _"Okay, note to us. That technique is still very tiring. Use it sparingly,"_ Naruto said. Kyuubi agreed. Still, the blonde found some stability in his body and quickly walked out of the streets. Now then, with fun out of the way, for now, it was now time…for more fun!

-x-

Unkai stared down at his niece in shame. He watched her pant as she finished her set of twenty push-ups before throwing herself into a coughing fit. He shook his head. "Yakumo, you have to try harder. You must overcome your limits. You will not become a capable heiress worthy of leading the clan if you cannot stand in the face of adversity. Work harder!" he exclaimed. The girl, Yakumo, tried to push herself up, but her body would not allow her to do so. She dropped and Unkai snorted before walking away.

"You're not to move from that spot until you perform at least a hundred push-ups. I will have one of the members come and collect you. If you cannot perform this, then you will be given no dinner!" Unkai said before leaving his niece, heiress to the Kurama clan, on the cold, hard ground. She could hear his steps dissolve into nothingness. She tried to perform more of her push-ups, but every set made it feel like her body would collapse over her. She tried hard, but it wasn't long before she felt the burning in her lungs which had her on the ground heaving.

Yakumo tried not to cry. No one understood! She was trying! She was trying as hard as she could. She wanted to impress everyone, but it was as if the entire world was against her. She was born with a weak body. She couldn't even go to school like the others because too much stress would cause her visage to collapse. She wanted to be strong. She swore it every time she went to bed that she would become someone that everyone could find immense strength in. When people saw her, then they saw a strong woman capable of achieving remarkable things despite what her uncle told her. She wanted to be great! She wasn't weak! She could be strong too! If only…someone gave her some help! If only someone understood! If only…someone cared about her!

"Yo. Bad day?" a voice asked. She looked up in surprise when she saw the village pariah, Uzumaki Naruto, swinging his legs while smiling at her. She had remembered seeing him once or twice. Her parents adamantly told her not to associate with the blonde. It was something along the lines of him corrupting her, but she never knew why. She just knew he was an orphan and, apparently, he had done some bad things in the village.

Yakumo slowly got to her feet and started moving away from him to go and find her parents. She didn't want to be alone with him. However, to his credit, Naruto wasn't perturbed by this. Why should he be? He had dealt with this treatment at least over three hundred realms ago. This one was no different. He yawned and called out to her. "You know. He's right. You would suck as an heiress especially with how rude you are. Not even bothering to respond to someone talking to you. I know I wouldn't want to follow you," Naruto said. His eyes gleamed when he watched her slow to a pause. Honestly, live a couple of lives and you could find that humans could lose all sense of complicatedness and devolve into simple thinking.

Now, was Naruto taking advantage of a little girl's insecurities? Yes, he was. Was he going to manipulate said insecurities for his own goals? Yup yup! Was he an absolute asshole? Another yup to the lucky winner. Did he care? Just a tad. Was it still funny? HELL YES! Was he going to stop? Erm…allow him to get back to you on that.

He watched her turn around and look at him. "I…apologize for ignoring you, but don't insult me when you have no idea of my situation. Now if you'll excuse me, my parents told me not to associate with troublemakers," Yakumo said before she started moving again.

"Troublemakers, eh? And please, what trouble have you seen me commit? What crime has this pretty, damn good-looking face done? Please, tell me. You obviously have seen me do something wrong, right? I mean, why else would you insult me to my face? So, Know-It-All-san, why don't you enlighten me on my shortcomings?" Naruto asked. Oh, rest assured that Naruto was aware of how much BS was coming out of his mouth. He was Naruto fuckin' Uzumaki. He was made for trouble, but…trouble was fun if you knew how to manage it.

Yakumo said nothing. She tried to think of times that she had seen the blonde doing anything, but she found nothing. She had been in her compound most of her life so that might work as an excuse, but…she knew it only solidified his point. She seemed a tad embarrassed. "I've…never seen you do anything. I've only heard things about what you've done from the villagers and my parents," Yakumo said. Naruto swung his legs on the branch he was sitting on. His body swung until he fell upside down allowing his legs to hang off the arm of the tree.

"And what have they said I've done? I mean, they would tell you the specifics, right? I mean people love to point out flaws. So…what has been told about me? I mean it's not like I wouldn't know. So…tell me, what have they said about me?" Naruto asked, that smirk still on his face. Yakumo glanced off to the side. She had heard the murmurs from the crowd, but no one had ever explained to her what he had done wrong. It wasn't like her parents to lie to her for no reason. He…had to have done something, but…she had absolutely no evidence.

Naruto snorted. "You can't even think of anything, can you? Well, I guess you're the type of person to just believe what other people say without even thinking it on your own. And here I thought clan heirs were supposed to be wise. I guess they'll make anyone a clan heir these days," Naruto said with a shrug of his shoulders. Yakumo stiffened. The young girl pouted. The blonde found the look adorable.

"If you want my opinion on what you are, then right now I would say you're a big jerk!" Yakumo said, puffing her cheeks at him. He snickered. She had no idea how right she was in that regard, but he wouldn't tell her this. He merely walked over to her with his arms around his head.

She didn't turn away from him, something he was surprised by. So…this Yakumo was just a bit more confident than his own. That would do wonders for him. "Whoa, so you can think for yourself! Good to see. Maybe we can do something worthwhile with you," Naruto said. The brown-haired girl's face slipped up.

"Huh?" was the most intelligible thing that came out of her mouth. She watched Naruto pat her on the arm. He was…unusually close. "Simple. I'm going to make you strong, Yakumo-chan. I'm gonna make you so strong that your old geezer of an uncle will be stupefied by you," Naruto said. The heiress of the Kurama clan didn't know how to reply to his words. She only saw him grin. She couldn't even reply to him before she watched him walk off.

"Come to Training Ground 7 at 1 am two days from now. You're going to be someone great, Kurama Yakumo-chan," Naruto waved off to her. She blinked when she watched him run out of her compound. It had never even occurred to her to ask him how he had even gotten into her compound. Her mind then brought her to more attention.

Yakumo called out to him. "I'm not allowed out of the how after seven!" She called to him. However, Naruto just kept running. He turned back to her. He wagged his finger at her. Kyuubi snarled. He really had to get his jinchuuriki to stop that shit. It was really annoying. He was sure that Naruto knew it too. He turned back to her.

"If you wanna be strong then you can't rely on your parents to guide you all the time!" Naruto told her, and he vanished out of her view. Yakumo watched the spot where the blonde pariah just was. One other question she had to ask. Why…did none of the guards see him?

Meanwhile, Naruto left her compound a happy man. **"You do realize you could have done all of this without placing a genjutsu over the whole compound? You're being rather lenient with these people,"** Kyuubi added, half-asleep half-awake. Naruto scratched one of his ears. _"Nah, it'll be fine. Outdoing one of Konoha's most premier clans in genjutsu is always worthwhile. Now I have two genjutsu masters from two powerful clans in Konoha as my generals. Now, we can start putting other things in motion,"_ Naruto said as he continued on his way.

-x-

Sasuke opened his eyes when he felt his alarm go off. He had gone to bed early. He noticed the moon in the sky. He turned the clock off and glanced at it. It read half an hour to one in the morning. Sasuke rolled out of his bed and brushed his hair for a moment. As he got dressed, Sasuke kept telling himself how crazy he was. It was the dead last of the academy that was telling him he was going to rule the world with the Uchiha as his first Grand General. Sasuke never cared about what happened to him as long as he made Itachi pay for his treachery, but to hear of the blonde's goals was not something the Uchiha could associate with him.

Sasuke had spent all three days thinking on this matter. He had not told the Hokage nor anyone about what Naruto had told him. He stood up and placed on his shoes. The raven-haired heir to the Uchiha clan wanted to argue what he had seen, but he couldn't do so. He could tell that Naruto was strong. As much as it angered him, he had to admit that he had been humiliated by Naruto when he was taken out with one kick. He also had to admit that…he trembled when he stood before the blonde. The dead last…had made him feel fear. There was an uncontrollable aura that made the young Uchiha shiver. Sasuke never wanted to admit it, but Naruto was strong, ridiculously strong, incomparably strong. And the most frustrating part of that was because Sasuke had NO idea why.

If…if Sasuke could become that strong, then…there was nothing to stop him from killing Itachi and avenging his clan. He wasn't strong enough! He could tell he wasn't strong enough! Even…even if it was the dead last! Sasuke had to find out! Any measure of power to make him stronger he had to take! Sasuke opened the door to his apartment and walked out.

The night air was cold, and it took the Uchiha some time to find the training grounds, especially without getting caught by the night patrol. Sasuke climbed over the gate and entered Training Ground 7. Sasuke saw the trees rustle in the cool wind. However, beyond them, there was no other sound to be heard. The Uchiha took notice of three log posts and stood next to them.

It couldn't have been more than five minutes did Sasuke hear the pattering of steps. He turned his head and he was rather surprised to see the heiress to the Kurama clan. She seemed surprised to see him as well. The two clan heirs stood next to the log posts. "Sasuke-san, what are you doing here? Oh, actually…that's probably a stupid question. If you're here at the same time I am, then I guess Naruto-san told you to come?" She asked. Sasuke offered a grunt for a response which Yakumo didn't appreciate, but she decided not to argue. She took a position next to the posts as well.

It had taken the heiress to the Kurama clan a considerable amount of time to try and sneak out of her family's compound. Never mind that the night was rather scary at this time and each step made her want to turn around and hide in her bed, but she wanted to get stronger. She didn't want to hear her uncle's harsh words anymore. She knew she had great skills other than physical prowess! There had to be things that even she could do better than anyone else.

About ten minutes of silence passed for the two as they waited for their apparent…host to arrive. Yakumo glanced up and stiffened. "S-Sasuke-san, it might just be me, but…the moon isn't supposed to be red is it?" Yakumo asked. Sasuke growled for a moment, but he stared up at the moon. No, the moon was definitely not supposed to be red. The two young ones stared at the moon for a moment before they heard someone shout.

"OI! What are you two doing out here? This is restricted territory!" Sasuke and Yakumo couldn't even hide their surprise when a flashlight beamed into their faces. Both covered their eyes when they saw a jonin standing over them, a stern expression on his face. Sasuke sucked his teeth. Stupid dobe. What was taking him so long? Now they were in a heap of trouble! Yakumo seemed to be a fish out of water when the jonin moved up to them.

Neither wanted to speak as the jonin chewed them out telling them how stupid it was for the heirs of two prominent clans in Konoha to be alone…at night. He had a disgusted look on his face. "I don't care what you to do, but if you're going to meet each other out here…at least do it when you're older and at home. Trust me, the bed is much more comfortable than the woods," he said. Yakumo blushed and stared at the floor while Sasuke just seemed more annoyed than anything.

The jonin sighed. "Alright, you brats, let's go. I won't tell your parents just this once. If I see you here again, I'll make sure you're both kicked out of the academy," He said before herding them out. Sasuke and Yakumo fell into step with him. The brown-haired girl looked at the raven-haired boy. He looked like he wanted to burn the entire forest to ashes. She couldn't blame him. She was upset as well. Of course, why would she trust someone her parents told her to stay away from? Hopefully, they would both learn to never listen to Uzumaki Naruto's words ever again.

As the three walked through the training ground, the jonin stopped. "Don't move! Did you hear that?" he asked. Yakumo quickly shivered when she heard that. The jonin flashed the light into the streets. Neither Sasuke nor Yakumo heard anything, but the older man narrowed his eyes. He growled. "Both you, do. Not. Move. I'll be right back" he said, and he dashed into the trees. Sasuke stuffed his hands into his pockets. He glanced at the female next to him and noticed she was just a bit closer to him than he would have liked. He snorted.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Yakumo and Sasuke jerked up, and the former fell to her feet when they heard a bloodcurdling scream. From the depth of the tone, it had been the jonin they were just walking with. Yakumo quickly grabbed Sasuke's shoulders. The Uchiha growled and reached for a kunai. Everything was still. The two starred off into the direction they had heard the scream. They had to get out of here, but…it was too dangerous to move.

They saw blood drip off the streets. A chorus of groans and moans filled the night air. The red moon stared at them both. "S-S-Sasuke-san…," Yakumo said, but the Uchiha quickly silenced her. Both watched the trees shift around them. Then, the bushes shifted. Sasuke's body chilled and Yakumo tried not to scream when they saw the jonin's head roll to them. However, it didn't stop there when they saw a decaying foot step out. A moan attached to that foot drew them to the hollow eyes glaring at them. Its undead skin walked towards them.

However, that was not the only one. Soon there were two, then four, then ten, then twenty, walking out of the forest. Sasuke and Yakumo stood stunned as they watched an army of undead fallen shinobi walk over to them. Sasuke took a step back. Yakumo followed him. She turned around to cover their back, but she couldn't hold her scream. Sasuke turned around and unsurmountable horror filled his body when he found them surrounded by hundreds of undead. Sasuke glanced around, but he saw absolutely no avenue of escape. He turned to Yakumo and grabbed her arm. "I'll distract them! Hurry up and get help! Don't stop running, you hear me! Get out of here!" Sasuke hollered and tossed her as far as he could. Yakumo cried as she flew through the air and slid on the ground.

"Sasuke-san!" Yakumo called. Some of the undead noticed her. Yakumo tightly closed her eyes and quickly ran off. They followed her. Meanwhile, Sasuke stared down the remaining enemies. He quickly sped through some handsigns. _"I don't know what's going on, but I'm not going to die here! Not until I kill Itachi!"_ Sasuke uttered.

" **Katon: G** **ō** **kakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique),"** Sasuke shouted and he blew a massive fire over the army of decaying bodies in front of him. The flames overwhelmed them and crashed into the forest behind them. Sasuke seemed pleased with himself, but amidst the flames…he saw them still walking unperturbed by his technique. Sasuke forced more chakra into the jutsu as he could, but they calmly walked through it and grabbed his arms. Their grip was strong. Sasuke growled, but he couldn't budge. His body was not conditioned enough as a young boy to withstand the might before him. He saw them stand over him. The strength and fear overwhelmed him. He closed his eyes.

"Oi sleeping beauty. I'm not kissing you to wake you up. I don't roll that way. You too, sleeping beauty number 2! If you both don't wake up, I'm gonna take a picture of you and spread it around Konoha. Imagine, the Uchiha and the Kurama clan, getting started on their future heirs early. Ooooh, what a scandal!"

Sasuke grumbled and opened his eyes. He shot up in surprise to see nothing around him. He saw Naruto standing over him. There were no enemies. There was no decapitated jonin. In fact, the only jonin was the one sleeping next to them. He turned, and he noticed Yakumo leaning up as well. They stared at Naruto. "Enjoy your dream?" Naruto asked. Both saw his smirk. He…He had done it? Sasuke growled and shot up. He grabbed Naruto's collar.

"You did that?!" Sasuke asked. Naruto rolled his eyes and plucked Sasuke in the head blasting him into the ground. If Yakumo wasn't so shaken she would have been more surprised at Naruto flicking Sasuke off his person like the Uchiha was but a bug. Meanwhile, the blonde patted down his clothes. Sasuke coughed and leaned up.

Naruto shook his head. "Now then, that you know not to touch me like that, I'll let you know. You're damn right I did that. I did it for three reasons," Naruto said holding up three fingers. They stared at him. Kami forbid if these were not valid reasons. They tried to look angry at him, but he hardly cared about their pitiful little temper tantrums. He'd give them each a subscription to the Shinobi Child Care facility, best diaper company in the world if they insisted.

"One, it was because I could. You're going to be two of my four Grand Generals. I'm going to fuck with you. A LOT! Why? Because I'm fuckin' Naruto Uzumaki and you're all my bitches!" Naruto said. Sasuke seethed and Yakumo frowned, but Naruto continued on as if they didn't even exist.

"Hmmm. Ah, second, it was pretty damn funny to watch you two squirm. Now, three, was to begin your training. And, judging by your performance from that, we have so much work to do if you're both going to be competent generals," Naruto said. That made their anger diminish somewhat. They looked at him rather confused at his words. The blonde saw this and smacked his forehead with his hand.

"Ugh, you…Jonin-san. Get your lazy ass up," Naruto said. The three watched the Jonin lean up. His eyes seemed very unfocused and he stood to his feet. The Kyuubi jinchuuriki held out his hand. Sasuke and Yakumo were aware of his smile.

"You will go home, and you will confront your wife's cheating. No, you'll do better than that. Go into the Red Light District, snag yourself a nice girl, what little of them there are, and take her back home. That's right, you're going to netori your wife! Make sure she sees it too! Then, just before you finish, face her and say…The Aristocrats!" Naruto said. He then pushed the jonin away. The man walked off without another word. Sasuke and Yakumo watched him leave. Confusion could not have been more evident on their faces.

"Oh yeah! Be sure to videotape it! Send it to my house! I gotta store it in my 'Things to Bribe People With' Scroll!" Naruto shouted out until the man was out of view. He seemed very proud of himself and firmly nodded his head. Ah, Netori. Good 'ol protagonist perspective.

Seeing that his work with that loser was over, Naruto turned back to his two underaged generals. "Now then, about what I just witnessed. Why in Kami's gloriously tight ass couldn't two heirs of two famous genjutsu-related clans not break out of my weakest genjutsu?!" Naruto asked. Yakumo seemed a tad embarrassed while Sasuke grunted and stared off to the side.

"Don't tell me you two really believe in the undead?" Naruto said. Their eyes focused on other things which made the blonde want to smack himself. He stared at them and he wondered if it was possible to remove the brains of these two and substitute them for garbage cans. That would have been a vast improvement to what he remembered. He actually wondered if Sasuke would have fallen for this in ANY of the other realms he had been to.

" **Hey, don't give 'em such a hard time. There is the Edo Tensei and there was also that other technique by that hot redhead's leader…erm…shit…what was her name? The girl obsessed with her hair….,"** Kyuubi said. Naruto tilted his head to the side. He wondered if he could get his head to touch the ground this way.

" _Gonna need to be a bit more specific ol' buddy, ol' pal, ol' friend! I've met too many girls like that. We both have,"_ Naruto thought. Kyuubi couldn't even try and argue that point. The nine-tailed fox scratched the back of his head.

" **You know! The girl back during the original realm! She was your first non-Sasuke kiss. Only took you like kissing the idiot two times before getting to her! That chick! She could steal chakra natures! She was the first one you ever got tongue action from!"** Kyuubi said. Naruto stiffened and grinned.

" _OH! Fuka-chan! Now I remember! Ah, I wonder where she is now. Probably frenching someone else. Sigh, I miss her,"_ Naruto thought. Odd, he had never looked into Fuka before. However, he knew that Kyuubi caught this. The fox smirked.

" **I'm smelling harem member number two!"** he boasted. Naruto wanted to roll his eyes, but his mind just couldn't find a reason to turn the suggestion down. Damn you, male hormones! No wonder females were scared of you! Then again, perhaps the inverse is true as well. One could hope and pray for that type of thing.

Sasuke and Yakumo watched Naruto stiffen. _"OH COME ON! Since when did you have a thing for soul-sucking women?"_ Naruto asked. Kurama stretched his body.

" **Since I remembered what happened to you when she kissed you/tried to kill you, or was Naruto junior having an interesting day before then?"** Kurama asked. Naruto stood still. The cold air blew on his face. Sasuke and Yakumo stared at him. They were starting to wonder if he had just been deciding on what to tell them. Little did they know that Naruto had just died. Yes, Uzumaki Naruto, OP among OPs, conqueror of the world…just died from a local aneurysm. Oh well, better luck next time. No protagonist, no story, no harem. Farewell.

" **HEY! YOU CAN'T DIE YOU IDIOT! I STILL NEED MY TEMPLE! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!"** Kyuubi said and pumped chakra into the blonde's brain. Naruto's eyes moved. He…was alive. He was back amongst the living. FUCKING DAMMIT!

"YOU ASSHAT, SACK OF SHIT EATING PIECE OF DEATH COCK DRINKING, MOUTH TO ASS, CHAKRA-EMPOWERED, TEN-THOUSAND-FOOT-TALL YIFF-LOOKING RIKUDO SENNIN BASTARD CHILD OF OVERSEXING FUCKS!" Naruto panted as he placed his hands on his knees and hunched over. He turned to see Sasuke and Yakumo still looking at him, even more confused than before.

Naruto closed his eyes while he heard his tenant's uproarious laughter. He then faced the two of them. "I'm going to ignore this. You're going to ignore this! If you ever bring this up again I will mind fuck you both so badly YOU WON'T EVEN REMEMBER A XENOMORPH FROM A YAUTJA!" Naruto exploded.

" _A what/_ _ **A what?!"**_ Kyuubi, Sasuke, and Yakumo thought at the same time. For that matter, none of them, not even Kyuubi, were sure what either of those things were, but the latter two slowly nodded anyway.

Seeing this, Naruto took deep breath and backed up. "Sorry, I just lost a lot of my composure at the moment. Let's just back up for a second here. Yakumo, the reason I called you and Sasuke here is because I am going to conquer the world. I'm going to rule every single last inch of it. No one's going to eat a single piece of food without me knowing it, metaphorically speaking. Now, I'm going to train you and Sasuke to be my Grand Generals. You're both going to help me rule the world and in return, I will give you both what you want," Naruto said. Yakumo blinked. He found her questioning gaze amusing.

"Sasuke wants revenge for his clan. I can give that to him easily. You? You want to bring great honor to your clan and help them see that you can be a competent clan head. It's not so impossible to rely only on genjutsu. Though, I could fix that weak body of yours too," Naruto said, waving off whatever problems she had. Yakumo seemed to take some time to process these words. He…could fix her body? He was going to be ruler of the world? He was freakin' crazy!

"You're crazy!" she remarked. Naruto raised an eyebrow at her. He then rotated his shoulders.

"And that…is lesson number one learned, little lady," Naruto replied to her. She continued to stare at him. She wondered if it was too late to leave. Unfortunately for her, it definitely was. She turned to Sasuke, but she could see the Uchiha clinging to his every word. He couldn't be serious! She didn't want to rule the world. She just wanted to make her family proud! She didn't want to rule over people.

"But…I don't want…,"

She jumped when Naruto plucked her in the head. "Oh, you want it. You just don't want to want it. Ugh, no one can ever be honest. Here, let me tell you what your future is going to be like if you refuse me. I'm going to mind wipe this conversation from your head, you'll return home, you'll continue to be berated by your uncle, you won't join the shinobi academy, your parents will try to assign a smoking hot genjutsu teacher to try to help you, news flash…she can't, you panic, you question your ability to lead your clan, your Id takes over and kills your parents, you then have to be put down because you're a threat. That sound like something you want?" Naruto asked. Despite the smile on his face, Yakumo shivered at the thought of these things. She never wanted anything to happen to her parents.

"I…I don't have an Id," she said. Naruto snorted.

"Yeah…sure. Whatever. I'll deal with that thing too when the time is right. So bid your time you creepy…thing!" Naruto hollered. Yakumo didn't know why she felt anger for a moment, but it quickly vanished. Naruto cleared his throat.

The blonde walked out into the forest and turned to them. "I'll give you the same words I gave Sasuke. If you don't want to join me, that's fine. However, don't stand in my way or I'll cut you and the rest of your family down. Nothing is going to stop me, most definitely not Konoha," Naruto said. Yakumo slowly found her strength despite the assumed threat. She stood up.

"Why me? There have to be more capable people than me," Yakumo said. He rose an eyebrow. So…this realm's Yakumo was also the inquisitive type. He would have to store that information away for future purposes. However, he wasn't going to feel bad at bursting her bubble.

He smiled. "Well, you're right about that. I could actually get people better than the two of you, infinitely so currently," Naruto admitted. Though, that was perhaps half-true. Getting people like that would require…a more delicate approach and this wasn't about delicate. It was about fun. He watched Sasuke's eyes harden and Yakumo seemed like she had just caught him in a loop.

"So then you don't need me. I can't be a part of this," she said. However, before she could even move, Naruto kicked her feet from under her and send her to the ground. She groaned and clutched her head in pain. "What was that for?!" She asked angrily, but she saw his eyes peering down at her.

"Obviously I could have better than you and Sasuke right now, but I won't have better than the two of you later. Do you really think that I will allow people who can't be the very strongest to be serving under me?! Yes, I am aware of that paradox. Now, shut up! We're seven, but I know how strong I am and I know how strong I can make the both of you, provided you both give me your everything," Naruto said and picked her up.

Sasuke stomped his foot on the ground. "If that's the case then how do I know that wasn't a genjutsu you showed me before back in the academy! Give me some more proof, dobe! How strong are you?" Sasuke asked. Naruto wanted to roll his eyes. Honestly, humans and proof. Was believing in something really so damn hard? Was a little faith so damn hard? Naruto was also going to have to do something about that 'dobe' title.

He turned to his first general. "How strong do you think I am?" Naruto asked, but he quickly corrected himself. "Scratch that. How strong…do you want me to be?" the blonde asked with a raised eyebrow.

Sasuke opened his mouth but quickly closed it. Truth be told, he wanted Naruto to be talking out of his ass about how strong he actually was. Yet, if he was then Sasuke was going to be very irritated that all of this had happened, and he hadn't gotten any stronger. Then there was that irritating smile on Naruto's face. Why did the dead last seem like he knew what Sasuke was thinking? The Uchiha didn't like it. However, as much as he didn't like this situation, he did not like Itachi more! Sasuke balled his fists. He then gave the blonde a heated glare. Naruto could have warmed his ramen with that heat.

"I don't care what happens to me so long as I kill Itachi. If you're strong enough to do that then I don't care what you have me do. However, I am not going to follow someone weaker than me. One lucky knockout doesn't make you better than me!" Sasuke said. The smile that suddenly appeared on Naruto's face unnerved him. Hell, Yakumo thought the boy was utterly insane with what she was hearing. She saw the blonde turn to her.

"And you?" he asked.

Yakumo stiffened. Images of how she would look as a mighty general flashed through her head. Pictures and visions of coming home to her family's warm faces; telling her just how proud they were of her, and how much she had grown. She couldn't take it. "I've heard many unfavorable things about you, Naruto-san. However, I will decide on my own what to believe," Yakumo said.

Naruto's grin must have shown on his face because both were worried when he held out his hand to them both. "Oh trust me. I have much in store for the two of you," He said. They shook his head and a feeling of dread came through them. It was almost as if…they had signed away their souls.

The Kyuubi jinchuuriki nodded and turned around. "Well, alright then. Just so you can tell how vastly superior I am to you, I'll give you a small glimpse at what I can do dattebayo!" Naruto said as he slammed his hands together. Sasuke and Yakumo suddenly gasped when Naruto's body exploded in chakra. The smile never left his face.

This…couldn't have been ordinary chakra for it changed from a solid blue color to a vibrant, godly yellow. The ground shook beneath their feet. They fell back away from him. Neither could form words in their mouths when they saw Naruto slam his hands on the ground. **"Know thy name and be torn asunder!"** Naruto called before he raised his body and…snapped his fingers.

In an instant, the shaking stopped. His chakra dissipated. Naruto seemed very pleased with himself. "Alright, I'll see you guys in three days for training. Come back here when you're free. Buh Bye!" Naruto said, slowly vanishing out of their sight. Sasuke and Yakumo watched him leave, but neither could say anything. He…hadn't done anything. Where was the proof?!

As he vanished away, the wind whispered his words. "Oh, and I wouldn't stand there if I were you. This place is going to be swarming with shinobi in maybe five minutes. You're my generals, I'd rather not see you be my pancakes," Naruto said before there was nothing left of him.

Not even one minute later did Sasuke and Yakumo noticed the area around them grow darker. The moon was no longer in view. Yakumo looked up. She…she really wished she hadn't. The Uchiha followed her view and all strength left his body. Both quickly came to understand the power of Naruto fuckin' Uzumaki. Both children watched as five massive pillars of rock fell through the air over them.

A bead of sweat fell down the raven-haired boy's face. The brown-haired girl swallowed the lump in her throat. This…had to be a genjutsu. Was…was this really Naruto's doing? They…couldn't outrun that. Those pillars of stone were going to crush them like…like some…crushinator thing! Both fell to their knees and a bright light quickly appeared over them. They glanced down and saw a massive seal light up. Quickly, their bodies were covered in light safely transporting them away.

Sasuke groaned as he landed on the floor of his apartment room.

Yakumo groaned when she roughly landed in her bed and dropped to the ground.

Both coughed, but not even a second later did a thunderous crash rock the Land of Fire and Konohagakure. Heavy winds and dust blasted through the village. Neither dared open their windows, but they could feel their respective buildings shake. The sounds of chaos filled the ears as people screamed for their lives. They both understood and feared…who they had just been aligned with.

Meanwhile, Naruto cursed when his house of cards fell down due to the shaking. _"FUCK! That's the fifth time!"_ he said and brushed the cards away.

" **You do realize you increase the difficulty by like…over nine thousand times with that jutsu of yours. Why even bother? There are much easier solutions"** Kyuubi asked. The blonde leaned his head back and felt the rumbling earth. Even now, he could sense dozens of shinobi going to investigate.

"Don't you know Kurama-chan…," Kyuubi snarled at the suffix but listened anyway.

"….everyone loves Rock 'N Roll." Naruto uttered with a massive laugh. Despite himself, the Kyuubi laughed as the ground shook violently around them.

* * *

 _ **KG: Whew. Man, let's hope that Writer's block stops coming. I mean, damn talk about an inconvenience.**_

 _ **Wifey: No one's buying it.**_

 _ **KG: Shut it woman!**_

 _ **Wifey: Make me man!**_

 _ **KG: I'm gonna destroy your Harry Potter collection.**_

 _ **Wifey: You're treading dangerous ground.**_

 _ **KG: I DID THAT WHEN I MET YOU!**_

 _ **Wifey: Oh no, I'm the one who did that when I met you!**_

 _ **KG: GOD I LOVE YOU!**_

 _ **KG: Anyway, that's all for now folks. Stay Breezy, protect what's important to you, review, and SEND ME…erm…SEND ME…mature female harem choices!**_

 _ **Wifey: Really?**_

 _ **KG: Gotta give the people what they want.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**KG: Ugh I wanna write, but nothing's coming out. Back to an old one while I sort out my thoughts and my stories.**_

 _ **Wifey: Honey! Dinner time!**_

 _ **KG: Since when do you call me honey?**_

 _ **Wifey: I can't show love to the most wonderful man in my life?**_

 _ **KG:…Yes?**_

 _ **Wifey: Come down when you're ready! I love you!**_

 _ **KG:…I didn't forget her birthday did I? I'm pretty sure I have it on my phone. This…might not end well.**_

 _ **Music of the Week: No No No by TheFatRat**_

 _ **Quote: "**_ _ **When we go out there, we have fun, but we get to work, and I think we're at our best when we're having fun. Having fun is key," by Ezekiel Elliott.**_

* * *

"Come on Ladies! I haven't even given you the hard stuff yet! Grammy Uzumaki could kick those trees while playing hopscotch…WITH BOTH EYES CLOSED!" Naruto shouted as he leaned against a tree watching Sasuke and Yakumo pant as they kicked the trees in front of them over and over. Suffice to say, but the two clan heirs had been thoroughly, and expertly, convinced by the weight of Naruto's big jutsu. Dare he say they might have even moaned? Yes, maybe there was some moaning there as well. Damn, if only he could have gotten some ahegao faces in there then that would have been perfect!

BUT…anyway, both had been convinced by his prowess and for the past three days had been training under the blonde in order to help him realize his ludicri…insanely genius idea of conquering the Elemental Nations with them as his generals. He watched with a wide smile on his face at his future warriors working so hard for his benefit. Such lovely slaves. Yup, slaves, minions, servants, aka bitches!

Naruto watched Yakumo begin to slow down. He rolled his eyes. **"You know, you could just heal her. I mean the little meatbag appears to be suffering. I think it'd be hilarious if we mailed the family her body, but…that's not what you have in mind is it?"** Kurama asked. The blonde pinched the bridge of his nose. No, that wasn't what he had in mind. However, revealing all of these things one after the other wasn't fun at all. He wasn't going to leave her like this. He rubbed his neck. Hmmm, what to do? What to do?

"Alright, alright! Stop the kicks! You're both sad! Take ten!" Naruto called to them. Sasuke dropped back and panted while Yakumo fell to her knees. Naruto reached into one of his favorite pocket dimensions and pulled out two water bottles. He walked over to them and held the water bottles in front of their tired faces.

"Well? You don't want water? I'm sure you guys are thirsty. Come on! I'm being generous here! Are you going to snub my kindness? For shame! For shame!" He criticized them. Sasuke growled, but snatched the bottle away. Yakumo took her own albeit with her own glare as well. Naruto watched them relax. He then looked back at the trees they had been kicking for over an hour.

He turned to face his two general. "So…how are the legs feeling?" Naruto asked. Judging from the way that Yakumo seemed to be rubbing hers then it was obvious that she was feeling the effects. The same could have been said for Sasuke, though there was that standard, patented Uchiha frown. The infamous "It fucks hurts, but I'm gonna pretend that it doesn't hurt" Uchiha frown.

Once the water was consumed, Sasuke threw the bottles away and walked back. "What are we doing this nonsense for? How is straight kicking going to make us better? That's the only thing you've made us do for the last three days. When are you going to stop wasting our time?" Sasuke asked with a deep-seated growl. Naruto merely tilted his head to the side. Hell, even Kyuubi tilted his head to the side.

" _Did this little emo-looking, duck ass hat-wearing, pink eye-using, motherfucker just think his time is better than MY TIME?"_ Naruto asked. The nine-tailed fox smirked from where he had been seated. **"Maybe you outta teach him a lesson. No one's time is more important than ours. Do you know how many bitches you could be screwing instead of training these brats?! You could be screwing like a…damn…rabbit. OH HELL YES!"** Kyuubi said. Naruto stiffened. Oh no.

" **Hey Kit,"** Kyuubi said.

" _No."_

" **You know, the funny thing about rabbits…"**

" _N. O!"_

" _ **Think a certain rabbit is having some…repressed sexual tension?"**_

" _NO!"_

" _ **By the powers vested in me as the God of Destruction over these lands. I, Kyuubi no Yoko…"**_

" _I WONT DO IT!"_

"… _ **command thee, Uzumaki Naruto…"**_

" _I REFUSE, FOX! IT AIN'T HAPPENING!"_

" _ **TAKE FOR THINE OWN SECOND WIFE…THE RABBIT GODDESS!"**_ Kyuubi hollered at the top of his lungs. Naruto shot up in front of Sasuke and Yakumo. The blonde panted like he had just run a thousand miles in under five seconds. Not his best time, but who was gonna complain? The blonde tightened his fists and then marched over to both trees. He swung his leg through them both sending them to the ground without effort. They ushered in a mighty crash in their area.

"YOU SEE THAT?! UNLESS YOU CAN FUCKIN' DO THAT THEN YOU WON'T BE WASTING YOUR DAMN TIME! NOW GET BACK TO WORK BEFORE I LOSE THE REST OF MY SHIT!" Naruto hollered. He huffed and panted before he stormed off into the trees leaving Sasuke and Yakumo alone.

The young academy student opened a portal and jumped into it. **"Where are we going? Isn't our poor wittle village in lockdown?"** Kurama asked, attempting to not explode in laughter of his jinchuuriki. Try as he might, Naruto could not disable the connection between him and his bijuu while performing this technique. Just hearing the fox snicker was enough to want to make him explode.

"STRESS RELIEF DAMMIT!" Naruto said as jumped through the portal and hopped out of it. He landed on the ground and released a breath. Now, where were you? If Naruto took a step in this direction and then he walked along this pathway then it shouldn't have been long for him to find what he needed. Sheesh, after doing it about fifty other different times the lines for remembering were becoming a little skewed in practice. Granted, the mist wasn't helping. Yet, he continued to step forward. However, he stopped for a moment.

"Hmmm, maybe a change of body is needed here," Naruto said before he skipped across the road.

-x-

Everything hurt. Her body hurt. She couldn't remember the amount of pain flourishing through her body. What had she been doing? She had been delivering a message to Kirigakure. Yes, she had been sent by her village as an envoy. Then…came the pain. Her body hurt too much to move. Her vision was growing hazy. "Don't go misunderstanding anything. This isn't enough to settle our grudge nor our hate for what you've done to our comrades! But it's a start!" she heard someone say. She tried to move, but…she couldn't. Each time she desired to do so, the weapons embedded in her skin dug deeper.

Her eyes grew hazy. "If you want to hate anyone, then hate your village and yourself for walking into such an obvious trap. After all, Sunagakure's the one who made all this possible," her assailant had said. His voice leaked with a dreaded satisfaction for her demise that she could do nothing about. Her hearing was fading. Her village had betrayed her. The village she fought under for so long. Pakura…felt herself slipping.

What had she fought for? Loyalty? Honor? Friends/ Family? Yet, was this what she amounted to? Dying on the cold, hard ground in pain because her nation had released her into the jaws of their enemies? Is that what a nation was? A sacrificer of people? If that was the case…if this was the result she had worked so hard for…then they could all…burn! They could all…burn to the ground.

Curse them! Curse them she did! She cursed them all. Her vision slowly began to fade away. Staring before the eyes of the Shinigami…she was not ready to have her spirit taken away, but…what choice did she have? The answer was none. She had…no choices…left.

The Kiri nin stood over her. He contemplated what to do now. He could bring her back to Kirigakure and have her body examined. The Shakuton technique was formidable and even if it was a hated kekkai genkai, or he could take her body to a bounty office and collect it. Heroes always did make high profits. "Dammit, Pakura! You always had to be the efficient one didn't you? Great, now I gotta fuckin' do something I'm really gonna like! I came here to get rid of my anger, not fuckin'….sigh, forget it. I'll forgive you cause you're cute,"

The Kiri nin stiffened when he saw a rather grown-looking man pass him by. He stood over the deceased Suna kunoichi. His blonde hair was an apparent feature in the misted area. The Kiri nin couldn't even hold his surprise when the man turned to him. His whiskered face only held a chilling smile. "You do this?" He asked. The Kiri nin was quickly aware of himself and jumped back. He picked up a kunai and snarled.

"Who are you? You're not supposed to be here! Get lost before I kill you!" He said, yet the mysterious man blinked. He looked to the left and then he looked to the right. He looked up. He looked down. He even looked behind himself. The Kiri nin clenched his kunai. However, the man didn't move from his current position.

The mysterious newcomer shrugged his shoulders. "Who are you trying to show your balls off to? There are no ladies here to what you. Unless you count my friend here who you just deaded for like…no reason. Like seriously, you took acupuncture to a whole new level!" He said. The Kiri nin quickly growled.

"She deserved to die!" He screamed. The man tilted his head to the side once more. He scratched the back of his head and rolled his eyes.

"Oh? And please, what prey tell did she do that was SOOOOOOO bad? No, no no, wait, let me guess! She seduced you! Yeah. She seduced you away from your wife! You were trapped! You couldn't contain your lust so you killed her! Oh such tragic love!" He said. The Kiri nin got angrier and angrier. He charged at the man without fear.

"SHE KILLED MY FRIENDS!" He hollered, but suddenly his world was flipped upside down before he could even register. Yet, the odd thing was…he saw his body fall to the ground seeped in blood. His head fell to the ground…five feet away from said body. The man cleaned off his hand.

"Oh shit. Sorry about that. Allergies are bad this year. I'm allergic to bullshit. I mean, after all, your village helped orchestra the death of one of my teacher's friends. You don't see me killing…you...for…ooops," He said and rubbed the back of his head. He looked around and then at the head of the man he had just killed.

"UZUMAKI NARUTO SAYS NO WITNESSES!" He hollered and kicked the head sending it far off into the distance. "GOAL!" He cried before looking back to the person he was supposed to be saving.

" **Technically, we're still saving her. We just have to say hello to an old friend. When was the last realm we saw her in? Realm 34?"** Kurama asked. Naruto shrugged his shoulders. How was he supposed to know anymore?

"DEATH! SHINIGAMI!" Naruto hollered into the air. The area grew cold and he felt the hard steel of a blade near his throat. **"For thousands of years I've laid dormant! Who has disturbed my…mmmmph!"** The god of death coughed when Naruto grabbed her face and kissed her as hard as he could. Her eyes widened for a moment before she closed them and wrapped her arms around his hair. She could feel the way his tongue expertly worked with her own. She dropped her blade and her spectral body wrapped around his own. Both quickly broke appear with a hard smack of the lips.

The Shinigami smiled happily before clearing her throat. **"Whoa there! What kind of kiss was that?! That was five minutes! Are you trying to get me pregnant?! We're not even married yet!"** She said while Naruto folded his arms.

"Since when have you cared about marriage?" He asked. She floated over him. **"Since someone decided to and I quote from the last realm 'Fuck the Queen of the Dead.' Which I am, thank you very much. You never even call anymore! I bet you've grown tired of my body!"** She wept. Naruto stilled and folded his arms at this display.

"Don't act like I don't know you fucked me while I was sleeping! I mean, I enjoyed it, but you are not even innocent here!" Naruto said. The Shinigami moved her head to the side. Stupid…immortal body! She then sighed and straightened her frantic hair.

" **So…what's the goal this time? The stupid fox asking for his ego to get inflated again?"** she asked. Naruto turned his head to the side. He took her hand and allowed her to enter his mindscape. She did so. She had been here MANY times.

" **It's not ego inflation if it's true,"** Kyuubi said behind his cage. The god of Death rolled her eyes. **"Yeah, whatever you say, Fox. Temples, priests, and priestesses, oh my!"** She said. Kyuubi and Shinigami growled at each other while Naruto watched. Honestly, the blonde did not get the whole thing with these spirits even after dealing with it for so many realms.

The two huffed and turned away. **"Alright, I'll do it. I'll give her spirit to you. But I want something too!"** She said. Naruto took a step back. She would have whacked him over the head with the handle of her blade if she wanted to at the moment.

" **I want in."** she said.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "In?" he asked. He watched her nod her head.

" **Hell yeah. I want in! I want in the harem! You know, lots of mortals would love to have a literal god in their harem! You have no idea how long I've waited for you to go down this route. What finally convinced you?"** She asked excitedly. Naruto wanted to put his head in his hands. This…was not going anywhere like it should have. He had done this TO GET AWAY FROM THE HAREM IDEAS! Now he had to try and charm the uncharmable Rabbit Goddess! He remembered the realm he had been in when she was still alive. How she fell for a guy like Tenji was beyond even Naruto's understanding.

" **That would be yours truly, you stupid spirit! He owes me and he knows it,"** Kyuubi said. The Shinigami raised an eyebrow when she saw Naruto drop his head to the ground. She made a slight noise with her mouth, but she didn't comment further.

" **Well, whatever. I declare myself Harem Member Number 1!"** She said and she quickly floated to the blonde and took him in her arms. **"Now then, how about we…consummate our new lives together?"** She asked with a wide smile. Naruto stiffened before he changed back to his form as a six year old.

"You wouldn't have sex with an under-aged boy still not ready to hit puberty...would you?" Naruto asked. She looked at him oddly for a moment before she smiled. **"Sorry Naruto-kun, you know mortal laws don't work on me. Plus…,"** she leaned in close to his ear.

"… **I'm a bit of a shotacon,"** she whispered. Naruto's eyes widened.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Naruto yelled as the Shinigami diabolically laughed along with his tenant. However, it wasn't long for Naruto to appear back in his adult body and step away from the Shinigami, but she only folded her arms.

" **Oh please. I know, I know. I wouldn't force you. I'd rather having you willing than anything else. Just letting you know, I call first dibs. Oh, and Kami's gonna want to see you at some point too. You haven't said hello to her either. Anyway, here's the trade!"** She said giving Naruto Pakura's spirt. The Shinigami then floated away already imaging all of the things she would do to him when he was older physically.

This left the blonde alone with one spirit next to him. _"I hate you,"_ Naruto said. Kyuubi cackled in his ears, but the blonde quickly shut him out. He then pushed Pakura's spirit back into her body. With that done, he picked her up, opened a portal and took her inside.

-x-

Pakura opened her eyes. A soft breeze flowed across her face. She leaned up and found herself in a very comfortable bed. She was surrounded by wooden bookcases, wooden tables, and a view of the outside which brought her sight to a fantastic forested area. She tried to move, but searing pain flew through her body keeping her pinned to the very, very comfortable bed.

"Oh! You're awake! Awesome!" She turned around and she stiffened when she saw her apparent host…without a shirt on. He appeared to be a tad sweaty from…whatever he had been doing. He held a tray of inviting food for her. She wanted to say she immediately looked away, but she couldn't. He was…very fit.

He set the tray on a dresser next to her. Then sun gleamed off him and she was not sure whether to look at the food or look at him or both. He noticed her gaze and smirked. "Ah, sorry about that. Busy day chopping wood and taking care of the forest. You know what they say, 'Busy hands make for a busy day," he said warmly. Pakura was not sure what she could say…or if she could even say anything. Luckily, the man moved on.

"Unlucky Kiri nin, am I right? Imagine my surprise when I'm tending to my things when I see a beautiful woman like you lying injured on the ground and a little cuckboy like that dancing over you like he just won the lottery. Hope you weren't planning any revenge on him. I saw you still breathing so I had to rescue you. No woman as beautiful as you deserves to die on the ground like that," he said.

She was not sure how to take all of these sudden compliments being sent at her. As far as she knew, no man in Sunagakure had called her beautiful. Admittedly, she never would have gave them the time of day if they did, but the point still stood. Even now she couldn't resist the deep scowl on her face when she thought of Suna. How she would like nothing more than to get revenge on them for what they had done!

The man noticed her look, and…plucked her in the head which surprised her. "Whoa, whoa, that face is too cute to be angry. Forget your situation for now. I bandaged you as best I could. You have some cracked ribs, and you had some internal bleeding. _Hell, you even had a punctured lung and heart._ You also had some other broken bones, but nothing I can't fix. Still sorry, you won't be moving from that bed without help or strong medication for at least a month. I made you some food, but since you can't move I guess I'll be attending to you for a moment," He said.

As much as any shinobi training would have liked to take prevalence here and the kunoichi take matters into her own hands, she was aware that she was completely at this man's mercy. His blonde hair swayed in the wind and the birth marks which resembled those for a fox widened upon his smile. She didn't say it, but she was hungry and thirsty. It wasn't like she could protest. "Oh I'm Naruto by the way. Naruto Uzumaki, and until you can speak, I'll just call you 'beautiful.'" He said. He made an odd face for a moment, but Pakura couldn't even find the strength to argue mostly because her voice was shot.

So, she resigned herself to this…very unusual, if generously, yet ultimately humiliating, treatment. This…Naruto sat her up and fed her the food which she admitted was very good. Once this was done she found herself getting sleepy once again. Naruto gently rested her back. "Please, rest for now. I'll come and check on you later. Hopefully, I'll have some medicine for you when you wake up. Sleep tight, Beautiful." Naruto said as he took the tray and walked out. Pakura fell asleep. As much as the man was corny in his compliments…they did make her smile.

It wasn't long until he closed the door. _"Whew, that was too damn close. I forgot I even had this dimension! Remember when I found it the first time? Good thing I still remembered how to do Mokuton techniques. I barely finished the mansion in time before she woke up. Well, at least I have her away from people,"_ He said.

" **Still, what was with the 'beautiful' comments? I mean, I'm down giving you harem member number 4. She looks like she knows some good action, but you do know we shouldn't keep her in this dimension forever, right?"** Kurama asked. Naruto easily agreed with that.

" _Yeah, but why not let her stay here for a bit. She's supposed to be dead anyway. Plus, I'll admit when I was friends with Maki in another of the realms she showed me a picture of Pakura. She really was beautiful to me. Unfortunately she passed and I was dating Matsuri-chan at the time. Sigh, I do miss her sometimes,"_ he said. Kyuubi rolled his eyes, but he didn't say anything.

Naruto quickly washed the dishes and closed the door to the house. _"hmm, I don't think she'll wake up until maybe tomorrow morning. Hell, she could wake up tonight. Oh well, I'll just leave a clone just in case,"_ he thought. He quickly made a clone and gave it orders. He then went on his way. Time to return to the kiddies.

-x-

Naruto hopped out of his portal and returned to Sasuke and Yakumo panting on the ground. He shook his head at them both and their sorry states. He looked at the trees. It looked like they had made marginal progress though. "Alright, I guess that's enough training for today. You guys did good. If I was a parent, who didn't want children but got them, I would be immensely proud!" He said. They were too tired to reply.

He clapped his hands and then he held out a bag. "Good work. Now then, onto your prizes for the day. For working so hard, I'll give you both some more things to learn. Sasuke, here's a lightning scroll. Yakumo, here's a genjutsu scroll. Along with some other books!" Naruto said dropping them on the two. Sasuke picked one up and then another.

"Why is one of these books called 'How to get over Emo-ness for beginners? Another is called developing a personality for the emo?!" Sasuke asked. Naruto shrugged his shoulders. Come on, we all can admit that Uchiha Sasuke had no personality. Come on people! LOOK AT HIM! It was like looking at a living statue that did nothing, but frown like…statues do! HOW THIS IDIOT GOT MARRIED WAS BEYOND NARUTO!

"Because, like it or not Uchiha. People don't wanna see you brood the whole time like a poster child. If people wanted to see brooding then they would go to the Land of Wave right now. Also yes, we'll be taking a trip there in a few years so we gotta get you guys up to snuff. Buh bye!" Naruto said and began to walk away. Sasuke and Yakumo were now left on their own to pick up the books and supplies Naruto had given them. If only they could burn him to cinders, but they had to get back home. It was almost night time and Konoha was going into lockdown. Why? Because SOMEONE BOMBARDED THE VILLAGE TRAINING GROUNDS WITH STONES THE SIZE OF MOUNTAINS! OH GODS ABOVE WHO COULD HAVE DONE THAT?!

Meanwhile, Naruto whistled in the streets. He ignored the looks of hate sent his way. Honestly, these people were going to have mega wrinkles when they got older, but that wasn't his problem. As far as he knew, Kurenai and Asuma weren't in a relationship…yet. As Naruto was aware, they generally got their…relationship whatever going around the time Sasuke got mind fucked by Itachi. That was still a couple of years off. Still, how could Naruto as a six-year old get someone like Kurenai most likely in her early twenties?

"Good afternoon, Naruto-san. Pleasant day for a walk isn't it?" Naruto glanced up from his thinking to see Kairi, Saiga, and their son smiling at him. Naruto gave a glance at their emotions. They were still a bit tense, but they definitely seemed to be coming around.

"Yo Saiga-san, Kairi-chan! It sure is a good day for a walk. I'm glad your son's better. Hope I'll see him in class in a couple of days. I bet it'd be really cool," Naruto said to them. Both parents quickly agreed. Saiga gave his son a small pat on the head. He grinned at them both and then at Naruto.

"You bet. My doctor said my illness is gone! I bet I could go to the academy in no time!" the boy said. Naruto chuckled and seemed greatly pleased by this. He patted their son's shoulder.

"We'll see you there. Just make sure not to worry your parents. I'm sure they must have gone through a lot of grief worrying amount you. You gotta make sure to pay them back. Try not to worry them like that anymore, k?" Naruto asked. Their son eagerly agreed. Saiga and Kairi watched the way Naruto interacted with them. They watched him smile.

"Alright, I gotta get home and continue studying. We got school tomorrow so I wanna be early. Bye guys!" He said and continued running. Their son waved goodbye, yet Kairi held Saiga's hand. This…wasn't so bad after all.

Meanwhile, Naruto continued walking. He had been thinking about Kurenai and what he had to do. He kicked his feet in the air for a moment and then he stopped. A massive grin appeared on his face. Kyuubi grinned devilishly. **"Oh, you're evil! You're evil, Kit! I APPROVE!"** Kurama hollered. Hearing this, the blonde quickly sped off. If he was lucky, then this realm's Kurenai still had similar taste to the old one. Now then, time for him to win that Oscar award! Eat your heart out Koyuki-chan.

Surprisingly, it didn't take long for Naruto to find Kurenai. She had been sitting with Anko at the local dango shop. Naruto patted his chest and took a breath of fresh air. Come on! Balls of steel time! Naruto had this! **"Wait, wait! My popcorn is almost done! Front row seat to the greatest actor on earth!"** Kyuubi said. Naruto knew there was no popcorn in there, but he waited an additional five minutes…just for his friend. Kyuubi gave the all-clear. Naruto walked out into the clearing.

"KAMI! Genjutsu is so boring! Why do I have to learn these stupid, useless techniques? No one powerful uses genjutsu! I bet genjutsu users just suck at fighting and performing regular jutsu. No wonder they can't be flashy at all. I wish Hokage-sama would just remove this useless and pathetic course from the academy. Boooo! Down with Genjutsu! Down with genjutsu! Down with the illusion arts!" Naruto yelled. Kami, if he had a picket sign that would be even better. Maybe a megaphone would help as well, but there was no need to go overboard. He already had enough people looking at him like he was crazy. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Anko snickering while Kurenai looked at him with disapproval. Now, time for the final nail in the coffin.

"I bet I could break out of an S-rank genjutsu on my own! That's right! They suck that badly dattebayo! No wonder there's no genjutsu masters in this village. I'm outta here!" Naruto said and dashes off. Now then, how long was it going to take for the bird to feast on the bread crumbs?

From their places, Anko looked at her friend. "Come on, Kurenai. He's just a kid. They will say anything," Anko said, but the red-eyed woman didn't seem to be willing to compromise. It only made Anko laugh harder. That kid just signed his death sentence. Even Anko hadn't been crazy enough to get Kurenai mad. That was just asking for disaster.

"I know that, and I'm going to teach him a lesson! If his teachers aren't doing a good enough job then I'll gladly take their place. I'm following him! I'll set him straight!" Kurenai said, paying for her food and walking in the direction that the Kyuubi jinchuuriki had gone. Anko bit her lower lip and got up as well. She paid also. Oh Kami, please let her have her camera! Maybe she could send Kurenai the video when it was all over. Of course, she was also going to make sure that her friend didn't maim a six-year old…without her!

It wasn't hard for Kurenai to track down Naruto. He was very obvious after all for a kid. However, he seemed to quickly leave the bustling village behind and head far into the wood. This wasn't out of the ordinary for children especially with how he seemed to be skipping and laughing while he did so. Just look at him, all smug with his trash talk about her personally most trained art. Of course, Kurenai was not an inwardly vengeful person, but for the respect of the arts, she had to teach him his place! Of course, Kurenai also knew that Anko was right behind her, but she didn't have time for her friend. She could see Naruto looking around. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary to him and he continued walking.

Kurenai followed close behind him for at least five minutes. Now, she could begin her plan. She wove her handsigns, leaving a mistake to be found nowhere. Her chakra quickly covered Naruto's and she forced him to see what she wanted him to see. As angry as she was, she didn't want to damage him too badly so a burning forest was easily the most acceptable approach. She found she had succeeded when Naruto slowly stopped walking and stood still. His mind and his chakra were currently under her control. _"So genjutsu is for weaklings, is it?"_ she thought with a smirk. She grabbed a kunai. A nick to the cheek was probably good enough.

Off to the side, Anko had her camera ready and recording. Maybe she could even pants the kid for blackmail material! She always did want a little man servant! She watched Kurenai ready the kunai and throw it. It flew silently through the air. Both kunoichi watched, smiles on their faces, however those smiles instantly turned into shock when Naruto turned around grabbed the handle of the kunai. He balanced it on his finger. "You know, thanks for taking it easy on me with the burning forest bit, but did you really need to make me drop my soda too? I was loving that," He said and Kurenai stiffened. Soda? She didn't send him a genjutsu with a soda.

"Alright, since the freedom of speech on my part has been compromised and I got assaulted, mind if I see who attacked me? I suppose it should obviously be a genjutsu user since I just ranted about one of the most powerful arts in the world. Plus, it had to be someone in the village who knows the arts very well. Someone who I saw sitting in a café…maybe?" He asked.

A sigh knowing that the jig was up, Kurenai walked out into the forest. Anko didn't move yet. She watched her friend approach the young blonde. Kurenai stepped before him. "If this was to lure me out then I can't say I didn't fall for it. How did you realize I was following you?" Kurenai asked. Naruto smiled as he continued to balance the kunai.

"If you're asking about your stealth, it was flawless. No critiques there. However, I've always known…when my wife was tailing me," Naruto said glancing at her. Anko nearly dropped her camera for a moment and Kurenai narrowed her eyes. She could handle jokes, but that was not a good one. However, before she could comment on that, Naruto spoke.

"I've missed you, Kurenai. I've missed you so badly. I'm glad the jutsu worked. Please tell me you remember me! You have to!" Naruto said. Anko glanced between her friend and the Kyuubi jinchuuriki. Was the kid off his rocker? He had to be. She looked at the Genjutsu Mistress. Her friend seemed to be devoid of all reasoning. No way! This was like something out of a bad fanfiction! No way this could be real!

"Perhaps you hit your head too hard playing. You're six, Naruto-san. This is the first time you and I have ever interacted with each other. I think you've had enough play time," Kurenai answered, but she saw his crestfallen. He balled his fists and shook his head. He took a step back. He placed his head in his hands.

"No, no, no, this wasn't supposed to happen! Did the jutsu malfunction? It couldn't have! I made sure it worked…," Naruto said. He couldn't think. He couldn't breathe. He turned to her. Kurenai didn't want to say that a child shook her, but the look of intensity in his eyes made her take half a step back. He fell to his knees and punched the growl with a loud yell.

"You…really don't remember? You were supposed to remember! You don't remember our son? You don't remember our daughter?! You honestly remember none of it?" Naruto asked. Kurenai opened her mouth and then closed it. No, that wasn't possible. She was pretty damn sure she didn't have children with a six-year old child. The very notion was ridiculous. So why was he talking about it so passionately?

Naruto stood to his feet. "No! I won't allow this. I might be stuck in this six-year old body, but I'll be damned if I can't show you the man you honestly, and lovingly, gave your heart to!" the young blonde said and slammed his hands together. A surge of chakra came over the area. Anko closed her eyes. No way, a kid couldn't access so much chakra this early! What was going on?

Even Kurenai couldn't keep her eyes open as the light from the chakra was too much to let her see. However, the light didn't settle for long and both kunoichi were allowed to lower their hands and open their eyes. Anko dropped her jaw, and Kurenai shivered. No, no way this could be real. He…he couldn't be telling the truth! Kurenai dropped her arms when she saw the sharp, yet soothing blue eyes of Naruto Uzumaki. He easily stood taller than her. She was not aware of the cape he wore, but it looked very…majestic. His blonde spiky hair had been pulled back into a short ponytail.

He reached into his pocket, but he stood before her. Kurenai, discreetly, attempted to dispel this illusion before her, but it did not work. Everything was real in front of her. The red-eyed woman felt like she was losing her nerve. No way, she couldn't have been married, and to the container of the Kyuubi? But, why did he keep looking at her in this way of strong familiarity?

Anko pinched herself hard! She wasn't waking up. She even slapped herself, but the pain on her cheek was evident that she was not dreaming! No way! How could a six-year old suddenly turn into a…a…fuckin' god among men! He was even hotter than anyone she'd been with! Anko felt her hands drop her camera. She couldn't even remember what the definition of photos were at the moment.

Naruto stood before the woman in front of him. "I can't stay in this form for long. It's using the chakra from my old body in the future and my new body can't accommodate yet. I don't know why you don't remember me, and it hurts, but I'm fine with that. I...refuse to lose you again, Kurenai. I refuse to believe the mother of our children could forget them so easily! But please…you should at least remember this," He said holding out an amulet. He took Kurenai's hands and opened them. He dropped the amulet in them and turned around.

"It was really great to see you again, Kurenai-chan. You're still as beautiful as you were the day you told me…'Yes.'" Naruto said before turning around. He then directly looked in Anko's direction. He winked at her before he vanished out of sight. The purple-haired woman who had been spying on them both averted her eyes for a moment, but once he was gone…she quickly walked down to her friend.

"Kurenai? Are you alright?" Anko asked. Her friend didn't answer her. She just stared at the amulet. Anko looked over her friend's shoulder and dropped her jaw. In the crest of the amulet was a small picture of Kurenai smiling with two children. They were all standing for a family picture. Her arms wrapped around their bodies. They both gave their brightest smiles with her. Naruto was laughing with his head on her shoulder and his arms around her waist. She could see a ring on his finger. There was one on hers as well. Anko stared at the picture. She turned to her friend, worried. Kurenai's face was…oddly blank. What…was she supposed to think when she supposed to think when she saw this?

On his own, Naruto turned back into his six-year old self. "Ugh, using Yin-release on the fly is still hard. I almost missed my window. True, this isn't the way I thought I would get her, but it's a dealt hand and I'm not reversing time again. We'll see where this takes us," Naruto said with a nod of his head. Kyuubi smirked to himself, but he didn't say anything. This was the greatest show on the planet.

" **So what now?"** Kyuubi asked. Naruto scratched his chin. Pakura was going to be resting until tomorrow, Kurenai was going to need to gather her thoughts, his two generals were probably aching after the day, and school was closed until the lockdown had been lifted. Hmm, what to do, what to do. Naruto smirked. Kurama grimaced.

" **No! Nooo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DESIST! I COMMAND YO…,"** Sorry sir, but the current caller is not available please leave a voicemail after you hear the maniacal laughter! HmhmhmhheheheheHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

-x-

"Yes, with Uchiha Itachi within our ranks, we are one step closer to completing the Akatsuki. He will be paired up with Jūzō for the time being. We're still in the preparation stages of the plans for Akatsuki. We will need more members. There must be ten of us to properly work through the technique. How are the mercenary assignments working? We must have more funds to come in and support our organization," Nagato said. It had been a trying experience in order to maintain the needed treasury for the next step in their process. It would take much time and money in order to begin an active hunt for the Bijuu and their respective jinchuuriki. Such things didn't come on a whim.

"Hai, the assignments have worked well. Itachi is currently working on getting settled into his new environment. We currently have Orochimaru and Sasori as a pair as well. They are currently operating within Sunagakure. However, as expected, we must keep an eye on Orochimaru. His ambitions are never ending," the woman, Konan, said next to him. Nagato relaxed himself for a moment.

"He will be dealt with if he becomes a problem. Where is Zetsu currently?" Nagato asked which had Konoha holding up a separate piece of paper.

"Currently, Zetsu has been stationed in Kirigakure. However, we're soon expecting him to reach the other four nations. We have some minor villages in mind as well, but you asked us not to spread ourselves too thin. We have completed at least twenty assignments in the last month," She replied to him. Nagato gave a firm nod. Good, that was actually how he wanted it to be.

Suddenly, a massive crash blasted the door to their meeting room clean open. Konan and Nagato quickly acted in defense of their opposition. However, they did not expect…singing. "I'm on the road to Viridian City! Meet my friends along the way! **(I'm on the road!)** We're on the road to Viridian City! I got a badge and the power to play! **(Gotta get there, along the way, gotta get there!)** VIRIDIAN CITY! WOOOOO!"

The singer and intruder stopped their song and walked into the room. He waved the dust and dirt out of his face. "Wait, this isn't the Ramen Festival in Nadeshiko Village! Dammit Shizuka! I knew I should have taken that left turn at the Kusagakure. Hmmm, where am I? I think I stumbled upon plans for world domination. Wait, THAT'S MY SHTICK! Who's muscling in on my dreams and aspirations! Naruto Uzumaki's gonna kick your ass!" Naruto shouted as he came from the smoke. He glanced forward, and he noticed Konan and Nagato staring at him. The blonde blinked. He looked up. OH! He was at the base of the Akatsuki! Oops.

"Erm…anyone for chess?" Naruto asked sheepishly. Kurama snickered in his cage. However, it wasn't long for both jinchuuriki and bijuu to see themselves surrounded by explosion tags of paper. Oh right, Konan controlled paper! How could the blonde forget one of his previous wives signature ability? Then again, in the last realm…Konan had been killed by Tobi. Naruto…might have had a bit of anger at that. Just a bit.

The tags exploded around Naruto's body while Konan and Nagato watched on. Both watched the flames spark at the other side of the room. "Konan, check security. I want to know why and how an intruder was able to get into our village without anyone noticing. I want the entire village on lockdown. He could have sent reinforces. I'll have Zetsu examine the body. For now, I'll settle it in one of the rooms," Nagato said, his eyes cold upon the location where the explosion had just happened. Konan quickly agreed without hesitation.

However, both stiffened when an arm wrapped itself around their shoulders. Naruto whistled. "We should probably store it somewhere cold. The burn marks from the explosion are probably going to make it hard to decipher the intruder's origin. We could store him outside and in the water. If we fill up a black bag with cold ice and cold water and then coat it in chakra then we can wait till he comes back. I think it's a good plan. How about you guys?" He asked, smiling as they turned to look at him. Nagato grabbed Konan and jumped them away from the blonde. Naruto tilted his head to the side.

"Something I said? My breath stink?" He asked. They did not reply to him. So, he had survived the explosion. The Deva path which Nagato used quickly let go of his companion. The path glared at Naruto as did Konan. However, Naruto didn't seem to find them interesting…right now…he was surveying real estate.

"Who are you? How did you get here?" Nagato asked. Naruto held up a finger for silence. He looked over the place a little more. He swiped a finger on the walls. Dirty, as usual. As expected of _god_ and his angel. Hmmm this could make a good tower for his empire. No, maybe it could be one of the religious temples.

"You're god, aren't you? Aren't you supposed to be all-knowing and all that jazz? You also don't seem to have glorious tits and a tight ass. No, you can't be Kami. Oh, sorry, that was probably rude of me. I did just knock your door down. Yo! Name's Naruto Uzumaki. Nice to meet you again, Nagato. You too, Konan-chan!" Naruto said with a wave. The Deva path and Konan frowned. They did not remember the one in front of them. Reports had stated that…Uzumaki Naruto was in Konoha. He was also the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Yoko. Plus…HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SIX YEARS OLD!

"Uzumaki Naruto? The holder of the Kyuubi no Yoko," Konan replied. Naruto scratched the top of his head. "I'm too modest to boast," Naruto said. Yet, he noticed the Deva Path quickly raise its hand. Konan seemed surprised, but perhaps she shouldn't have been.

" **Bansho Ten'in (Heavenly Attraction of All Creation!)"** He called out. Naruto felt the immense pressure of the technique used upon him. He gasped when he sped towards the outreached hand of Nagato. He flew across the room at great speeds and Nagato was prepared to catch him. Yet, Naruto swung his body which pulled the center of his gravity from Nagato. He glanced up and collided with Konan. The Deva path narrowed its eyes.

" _He broke himself away from my Bansho Ten'in?"_ He thought to himself. He then noticed Naruto holding Konan, her body dipped near the floor. Her hands gently placed itself in Naruto's. He held her just by her waist which kept her from slamming into the ground. The blue-haired woman stared into the blonde's eyes.

"Hmmm, never knew Nagato was such a wingman. It's a shame you have this cloak on. You've got such a beautiful face. Though, I wish you'd get rid of the piercings. Such beautiful skin shouldn't be messed with like that," Naruto said. Konan didn't say anything. Instead, her body turned into paper and about ten paper shurikens flew at his backside. Naruto swung around and caught them all in his hands.

He noticed Konan land next to the Deva Path. Naruto glanced back at the paper shuriken and dropped them to the ground. "Look, I didn't come here to fight. Hell, I didn't come here to meddle with Akatsuki at all. I was on my way to a ramen festival, but I guess my sense of direction sucks today. But listen, your little…world domination plan, I'm gonna need you guys to stop it. See, that's what I'm gonna do and I don't like competition. I'd rather not have to fight such a beautiful woman either, nor my own family. It's too cruel. Way too cruel," Naruto said.

Nagato frowned as did Konan. "Kyuubi jinchuuriki, surrender yourself to the Akatsuki. Your death shall lead to peace. We do not desire world domination. However, we will lead the world to greater understanding and that understanding…is pain," The path spoke. Naruto rolled his eyes. Honestly, pain this and pain that. Oh brother.

"You know…as much as I'm sure people understand pain, I don't think you've got the right approach. Playing on sympathies is fine and all, but…you do realize how idiotic this is right?" Naruto asked as if he was speaking to two children. Which, considering how long he had been doing this, could be accurate.

"As expected, you can't see the full forest if you are lost in the trees. People have died for peace and there shall be no difference. Pain is the only universal language that everyone understands. From every war, the pain of lose has forced treaties and surrenders. Once we have the bijuu we shall turn them into a great weapon. Such the nations forget pain, then they will remember. We will make them remember. Peace shall reign," Nagato said.

…..

Naruto blinked, and blinked, and blinked again. "…is that it?" Naruto asked. Neither Nagato nor Konan said anything. The young jinchuuriki rubbed his eyes. GOD! They were still just as stupid as every other realm! Note, next realm, try to get a different Konan and Nagato. This was ridiculous. He then glanced back to them and released a breath.

"You…do realize you haven't changed anything, right?" Naruto asked. The both stared at him, but he could tell from the slightly gestures of their bodies that they were a tad annoyed at his question. Yet, Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You know what? No, I'm not explaining this shit again. If you want a talk-no-jutsu you are in the wrong realm! Sigh, just stay out of trouble you two. Jinchuuriki and their bijuu aren't so easily understood. You're both dabbling in forces beyond your comprehension. Hmmm, actually….I've got an idea. I'll come back here in about two weeks. When I do, I…take you both to see a good friend of mine. Hopefully she'll set you both straight. Ooooh, that's a good idea if I can manage," Naruto said to himself which got a him a grin. Even so, this did not stop the two Akatsuki members from standing before him.

The Deva Path made itself known. "You will not be going anywhere, Kyuubi Jinchuuriki. I do not know how you recognize us, but it doesn't matter. Now that you're here, you will not get away. You will be subdued and you death will lead to peace. This is the will of god!" Nagato said. Naruto deadpanned. Naruto then…snapped his fingers. Honestly, where instructions so damn hard to follow?

"I don't think you were listening. I said I'll come back in two weeks and you **both** are going to be coming with me to meet a friend of mine! Do I make myself clear?" Naruto asked. Nagato held out his hand for a response. His ringed-eyed glowed within the darkness. Before them stood the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, proud and arrogant. They would not kill him, but they would make him wish he did not spout his mouth. He would be begging for death when all was said and done here.

Konan stood behind the Deva Path. "Know pain! Know the will of god! **Shinra Tensei (Heavenly Subjugation of the Omnipresent God),"** The Deva Path uttered. Instantly, a blast of pure pressure made its way for Naruto's body. Naruto could see the destruction this would cause. He closed his eyes and…scratched his cheek.

The intense pressure of the blast hit him with insurmountable force. It was one of the Deva Path's most powerful techniques. It was easily capable of flattening a village if it were to be used at is full potential. So why…was the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki facing the full force of the technique without a visage of discomfort?! This cause Konan worry. No one had been capable of standing up to that technique! Absolutely no one had been able to stand before the face of Nagato's power. Why was the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki so much different from their given intel from Zetsu? He wasn't the age he was supposed to be! He wasn't in the village he was supposed to be! He…was more powerful than he was supposed to be! What could be happening?!

Naruto, for his part, lowered his eyes. Honestly, how annoying could two people be? This was utter nonsense. Of course, Naruto was always down for utter nonsense, but this was absolutely a current waste of his time. Perhaps a bit of a demonstration would need to be in order. Naruto walked through the blasts of heavy pressure brought against him. _"Impossible! He can withstand the Shinra Tensei as well?! This can't be the same Uzumaki Naruto that we received intel on! Was Zetsu wrong?"_ Nagato thought to himself. Neither he nor Konan could find the will to utter words from their lips. No matter how much chakra the Deva Path poured into the technique it did not matter.

Holding out his hand, Naruto grabbed The Deva Path. The technique instantly stopped. The Deva Path did not speak. Naruto closed its hand and patted it on the shoulder. "Two weeks. Don't forget!" Naruto said with a grin. He then, in an impressive burst of speed, appeared in front of Konan and took her hand. He leaned over and kissed it.

"I wouldn't have minded holding you a little longer, M'Lady, but parting is such sweet sorrow. I hope to meet you again in your dreams. Farewell," He said. He didn't dash away majestically. He didn't step into a portal. He just…faded away leaving Konan very bewildered. As for Nagato, he was not happy. He was very much the opposite of happy. If a person looked up the word 'Happy' in the dictionary, then they would not find Nagato with it.

-x-

Pakura slowly awoke. It was dark outside from what she could see. Her vision was a tad hazy and her entire body was sore. She tried to lean up, but the pain from earlier was not helping. She quickly realized that she was in the same room as she had been earlier.

"Oh, you're awake again. Good morning, beautiful. Hmmm, or maybe it's good night now? Did you sleep well?" she turned her head forward. Ah yes, her strange and benevolent host was with her as well. There were those compliments again also. She saw him on the other side of the room…playing shogi…with himself. The Kage Bunshin technique? Pakura didn't know too many people who were capable of utilizing that technique. Wasn't that a Konoha-originated jutsu as well?

She watched him pause his game and get up from the chair he had been sitting in. Given the fact that she still couldn't move, she couldn't do anything when he placed a hand on her forehead. "Hmmm, you're not as hot as you where this morning. Well, I mean to me you are, but your fever's gone down so that's a good thing," Naruto said with a wide and disarming smile. It wouldn't do good to have Pakura even more cautious of him.

Yes, he knew she was cautious of him. She had every right to be. He was an unknown after all. Plus, he had just used a shinobi technique. He knew if she could move, she would already be trying to assassinate him in some way, so she could escape. Not that she could, but she would definitely try. "Hmm, you must be pretty thirsty. Not only did you eat, but I also gave you medicine and you were sleeping. Any preference? Water? Juice? Milk?" Naruto asked. She just looked at him for a moment as if to try and decipher his intentions. It bothered her that she found nothing to argue, though she still couldn't talk so it wasn't like arguing could be done on her part.

She shook her head for choice of preference. Not like she could state that she hated milk anyway. "Excellent. I'll be back with some ice, cold juice for you." He said. He disappeared for a moment which left Pakura to contemplate her thoughts such as where she was, who her caretaker was, if he was dangerous, and if those compliments were ever going to fade away.

Naruto returned with a single glass. He slowly leaned her up. "It's watermelon juice with a hint of apple cider. A classic in my case. Hopefully, the cider will clear up your throat. I'm sure you've got questions. For now, ask three. We don't want you overusing the muscles in your throat. I should probably change your bandages as well. Can't have those wounds opening up," he said. She didn't say anything. What could she say?

He held the juice to her lips and slowly poured it down her throat. He made sure that she didn't choke and lifted her head up to do so. The cider burned her throat, but she must have drank it faster than she thought because the experience was over. It was tasty to say the least. She coughed for a moment and Naruto settled the glass on the table. "Where…am I?" she asked. Naruto tilted his head to the side. He could play with her in that question, but perhaps some sincerity was needed for a change.

"Well, you're in my home. Remember I told you that? However, if you're asking where in the world you exactly are then you're in one of my dimensions. I created it with no small amount of effort. There are no people here aside from you and me. Everything you see outside was grown by me. It's kinda like my home away from home. It's for when I'm sick of the world and this fake treaty nonsense it's got. Especially sacrificing beautiful women like you," He said. Pakura closed her eyes. Oh god, the compliments again.

"Why…do you keep calling…me…that?" She asked. Naruto smiled at her. "Well one, you haven't been kind enough to tell me your name so I told you I'd call you what you were until you gave me said name. So…what your name?" Naruto asked. Pakura turned away from his smile. It was too trusting.

"…Pa…kura." She replied with a bit of trouble. Naruto quickly went to retrieve some more juice and gave it to her. He helped her finish that helping as well.

"Pakura-san? The Hero of Sunagakure? Damn, you're even more beautiful in person! I read the articles about your achievements. You worked hard for peace. Nice wo…," Naruto's eyes hardened when he could feel the negative emotions coming from Pakura's body. Yeah, she had just been betrayed for that…peace. She wouldn't have too many fond memories of upholding such a thing right now.

"Pe…ace. It's…worthless! Just…like…the…nations!" she said, and even though her voice sounded scratchy, the disdain and hatred in her tone had Naruto step back for a moment. As much fun as he was having, he didn't like intentionally giving people's hearts to dark thoughts. This was why he had trouble of deciding to go through the evil route. He heard her start to cough violently. Naruto took a hold of her.

"Shhh, shhh. Don't talk too much. You're still recovering remember? Besides, your face is too lovely to be angry like that. Come on, let's change those bandages. I'll also give you some more medicine. It should help with that coughing. Sorry, please deal with the discomfort for a moment," Naruto said and he slipped his arms under the covers. Surprise exploded through Pakura's face when her host picked her up into his arms.

"I don't have a wheelchair, so this is the most convenient method. I'll try not to irritate your wounds. Hang on tight," Naruto said, and he began walking. Pakura could feel her long legs dangling. This was utterly mortifying. How could she explain away this sheer embarrassment and humiliation? Perhaps she should have been grateful that she was even alive to feel these things. After her betrayal, she thought she would be dead. Yet, thanks to the actions of this mysterious man carrying her she could still have these feelings of embarrassment. Embarrassment was a small sacrifice to being dead.

Yet, how she wished her voice was working that she could tell him to put her down. She knew she was being stubborn. If he put her down, then she was sure that she would be crawling on the ground trying to get to the destination, if that. That was a whole other type of humiliation that she did NOT need or want. Then again, this…Naruto did have some very strong arm...ARGH!

Naruto took her downstairs and Pakura had the time to observe her surroundings. It seemed like the typical modern house. Kitchen in the back, living room area with a Tv on top of a stand, along with a couple of couches, mats, closets, and basement door. He took her into the living room. "Tv?" He asked her. She slowly shook her head. He placed her on the couch. It was a very soft couch.

"Normally, I would take you to the bathroom or the kitchen, but I'd rather you not feeling even more suspicious of me than you already are. Plus, the seats would be uncomfortable. The couch feels much better doesn't it?" He asked her. She didn't speak. Not like she could anyway, but the couch did feel good. It felt very good.

"Why…did…you save…me?" She asked raspingly. He reached over to grab some medicinal things out of his closet. He quickly returned to her. He took one of her legs into his hands.

"Why'd I save you? Well, despite you being very beautiful, I know what it's like to give your all to something only to be taken for granted. I heard what that guy said. Sunagakure exactly found someone like you expendable. Admittedly, I don't think anyone is expendable, but to learn about your achievements and see you about to die in such a lonely manner didn't sit well with me. I would actually have gone to Sunagakure in punched the Kazekage in the face for what happened to you. Betrayal is the worst type of pain, and as much as I can heal you physically, spiritual, and maybe even emotionally, I don't think I can help you deal with betrayal. I can only say that someone as marvelous as you shouldn't have been treated that way. It…made me angry," He said. He didn't look at her as he did, however Pakura shivered. That was…very considerate…and sweet.

He replaced her bandages and she grimaced at her wounds which hadn't healed yet. Even sitting up was painful given her broken ribs. She could see tons of cuts on her feet and her legs. He quickly took care of those. She watched him meticulously work. He changed the bandages on her legs, her arms, and then her back. Naturally, he told her that her back was much worse. She could image it was since that was where she got hit the hardest. She shivered when she felt the cold sting of ointment in her back from his fingers. It was an oddly exhilarating touch. She hoped he didn't notice how electrifying his touch was to her. Of course, the Great Uzumaki Naruto noticed. He lightly smiled behind her. He could feel her squirm beneath his ministration. He just had to be slow…and alluring. No need to be overbearing.

Then, he stopped. "Okay, all done! Hmm, you don't look sleepy so you might not go to sleep. I don't know about you, but looking at the ceiling in bed isn't my definition of speedy recovery. So, how about a shogi match? Sorry, playing with myself gets boring after a while. Plus, it'll be good rehab for your arms. We can start getting your body moving. Then you won't be stiff and sore waking up," He said to her.

Pakura thought about it. She truly didn't want to go back to sleep. The combination of drugs, juice, and…recent stimulations were keeping her wide awake. She could use something to take her mind off things. She didn't feel like watching Tv, and she doubted she could hold a book for too long before her arms started bugging her. Also, suffice to say, but she wasn't going to be practicing any shinobi arts in this condition. Shogi…might not be so bad, as long as she had something to stop her sides from killing her.

She found herself agreeing. This made Naruto smile. "Great! I'll take us back upstairs and then I'll make us some food and drinks. I'll help you with the eating part. Let's go!" he said happily. He picked her up and took her back upstairs. He settled her into a chair and he raced back down stairs. Perhaps twenty minutes later he came back with some glasses of juice, a pitcher, and a tray of food. As much as Pakura would like to say she wasn't hungry, the food had a good way of stimulating her appetite. She watched him place it on a counter next to them. He then set the drinks on the table.

Pakura watched him set up the board. "Beautiful woman in my house has the first move," Naruto said sitting down. Pakura glanced at him, but…she tried not to let her lips curves upwards. She tried for a piece and placed it forward. Naruto then followed suite. They played into the night.

-x-

"Wooo! 360 no scope!" Naruto spun in a circle and threw his kunai at the target. The blade sailed through the air and stabbed itself into the dummy. He landed on the ground in front of his class. "Now, if only we could have some TDMs in here!" He said, more to himself, which got odd looks from his class.

"Naruto…just get back in line. You did good," Iruka said with a tired sigh. The first day of the school being open after large stones fell from the sky causing almost irrevocable damage to the village, and Naruto already had to show-off. Though, it did make the chunin happy to see the blonde as full of life as he was. That didn't mean he wasn't still wary of the boy.

"Quite showboating Naruto! It's other people's turn!" Sakura said to him. Naruto brushed a hand through his hair and laughed. He started walking back to his spot from the group. No, actually even better than that, he walked to a tree and jumped up to one of its brands. He rested himself below the masses.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right, Sakura. Why showboat the truth? I suppose after the As have gone then the Bs go next. Talk to me when it's over," Naruto said and closed his eyes. However, he kept a small glance on Sasuke just for some more reference to the training. He had enacted several plans at once and had gotten barely any sleep. Pocket dimensions were good for that type of thing. Plus, he had been playing shogi with Pakura until she went to sleep so…he was thoroughly drained. Plus he had been doing his village…side quests as he liked to dub them. He would have liked to think that his rep had increased just a tad since his time with Saiga and Kairi.

Class time must have been a blur for Naruto because by the time he was even aware of his surroundings, he was with Sasuke and Yakumo in the training ground. They both seemed to be waiting for him. He released a breath. "Alright, here's what we're gonna do today. I noticed you both limping when you came here. That's good. It tells me you've been practicing back at home. But no kicks today. I'd rather not break your feet. We are six after all," Naruto said. He scratched his cheek for a moment. He looked at the trees around them.

"Alright, begin your warmups like I taught you. Once those are done, you two are going to play a game with me," Naruto said. Yakumo and Sasuke glanced at each other for a moment, but they went through their exercises. The blonde jumper continued to watch the heir to the Kurama clan struggle. Right, there was that to think about as well.

He took a breath and leaned up. "Yakumo, come here." Naruto said reaching into his pocket. She stopped and came up to him. He gave her a small bag. "Here, take these at least once a week. There's enough in there for four months. These should help your body out for a little while," He said. Yakumo opened the bag and pulled out a pill. It was a solid green color. She had never seen such a pill before. She took it quickly and went back to her exercises. The Kyuubi jinchuuriki quickly noticed that she seemed to be doing much better.

"Good. We've all warmed up! Now then, the game we're going to play is Shogi!" he said a wide grin upon his face. Sasuke and Yakumo blinked when the blonde produced two shogi boards. The Uchiha heir growled. This was so stupid. How was he going to beat Itachi like this?! This was the biggest waste of time imaginable. He didn't care how strong Naruto was. He didn't have a need for this farce! He turned to walk away. He had enough of this!

Unfortunately, for the Uchiha, Naruto easily saw those thoughts. Hell, he knew Sasuke was going to think them before the blonde even brought the boards out. "Aww does Satsuki-chan not like games? Well, don't worry Sasuke! I promise this isn't a waste of your time. This is actually going to be the most intense game of shogi that you two have ever played," Naruto said. Yakumo and Sasuke frowned, but the latter's was a lot deeper.

"I didn't come here to play games! I came here to get stronger!" Sasuke argued. However, Naruto plucked him in the head with enough force to send him to the ground. The Uchiha massaged his forehead and snarled at the blonde in front of him. The realm jumper placed a hand on his hip.

"Trust me, Sasuke. If you can't do this exercise then I'll kick you to the curb as my generals faster than I missed my Ramen Day festival," He replied with a laugh. Sasuke was absolutely determined to prove that Naruto was insane in some regard. However, he pushed himself up and walked back to Yakumo. He folded his arms angrily. Still, Naruto walked back with them.

"Good. Now then, before I was rudely interrupted from giving my grand and gloriously genius exercise! We're going to be playing a shogi game. You two against me at the same time. If by some miracle you beat me, then I'll give you guys a great reward. Oh, and just to let you know, the fire's not going to die out until we finish both games," Naruto said, the smile on his face darkened. Yakumo and Sasuke stilled.

"F-Fire?" Yakumo asked. Instantly, a ring of flames surrounded them. Yakumo fell back against Sasuke. The two young shinobi in training looked all around them. The walls were too high and it was so hot. They could feel themselves start to sweat. Insane! He was definitely insane!

They turned back and saw Naruto whistle as he sat on the ground. He placed the boards on the grass. The walls of flame inched closer. "Well? You're going to be shinobi. You're also going to be my generals. You'd better be ready to fight with your lives on the line," he said. He offered for them to get seated. It wasn't like they were going anywhere any time soon. For the moment, the two of them recalled his words. Naruto Uzumaki was fucking with them. Naruto Uzu-fucking-maki fucked with EVERYONE!

* * *

 _ **KG: Whew, I guess I can stop there. Now I hope I can use this time to organize notes.**_

 _ **Wifey: I know you can do it honey!**_

 _ **KG: Uhhhh thanks?**_

 _ **Wifey: No problem! You know, I was thinking….**_

 _ **KG: Yeah?**_

 _ **Wifey: Yeah! I was thinking…how long have we been married?**_

 _ **KG: About five years.**_

 _ **Wifey: I think it'd be good…if we have two extra bodies in the house.**_

 _ **KG: You…want us to rent out the house?**_

 _ **Wifey: Haha no silly. I wanna start a family.**_

 _ **KG:…**_

 _ **Wifey: Anything to say?**_

 _ **KG:…**_

 _ **Wifey: You're so happy you can't speak?**_

 _ **KG:…One question. You were not drunk when you had this idea where you?**_

 _ **Wifey: Nope!**_

 _ **KG:…HELP!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**_Wifey: See? Isn't it better when you listen to me?_**

 ** _KG: Yes...dear._**

 _ **Wifey: I'm so glad you've become complaint.**_

 _ **KG: Yes dear.**_

 _ **Wifey: Now, when you're done. Come down for dinner.**_

 _ **KG: Yes bitch.**_

 _ **Wifey: Did you say something honey?**_

 _ **KG: No dear.**_

 _ **Wifey: Oh, that's good.**_

 _ **Music of the Month: I Wanna Go by Phoenix Music.**_

 _ **Quote: "** **Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best," by Theodore Isaac Rubin.**_

* * *

Sasuke and Yakumo stared up at the bright blue sky. Their short breath escaped their bodies. Around them laid the charred remains of burning ground…along with two shogi boards. "Well, I think that…warmed us up a bit! Eh? Eh? That's a good one isn't it?" Naruto asked with a bright smile on his face when he saw the two shogi boards having two completed games. Naturally, he didn't want to bring them both back so he allowed them to live…for this time. As much as he loved the Shinigami, she was still very busy. As much fun as he also loved to have, he didn't want to impose on her too much. That was for later.

He quickly sat in front of his two traumatized victims. Well, maybe not traumatized. Maybe the better word was…pranked! Yeah, that was a much better word than traumatized. Obviously, Naruto wasn't a sadist. He wouldn't intentionally traumatize someone. Would he now? "Ahem, well I would congratulate the two of you on beating me, but I'd rather not explain to Jiji why I have two barbequed clan heirs with me. So, I guess I had to let you guys win for now, but you both lasted longer than I thought. Though you did waste like 5-10 minutes trying to escape. Glad that worked out for you guys by the way. Now then, who here can tell me why I suddenly sprung this on you?" Naruto asked, a bright smile on his face.

He watched the two huff. The smile on his face left for a brief period. Oh…was this the ignoring game? Oh he had perfect answers for that type of game. "I mean, if you don't wanna answer me then I'm fine having another shogi match surrounded by fire…with giant falling boulders this time! That sounds like a…rockin' good time! Eh? Eh?" Naruto asked. He received no responses. Hmph, no one could appreciate a good pun anymore.

Once his cute little generals were done with their pitiful gasps for air, he collected them and sat them on the ground. "Well? I'm still waiting. Come on, work those overgrown peanuts!" Naruto said. Their glares at him would have made good additions to his wall when he founded his empire, but another time perhaps. Yakumo dusted off her clothes and Sasuke did the same. Perhaps only five minutes of thought passed between them.

"You were…screwing with us?" she said. Naruto rose an eyebrow. He then reached into his back pocket and pulled out a scroll. He then smiled at her and tossed it to her.

"DING DING! Reason one of five found out by Yakumo Kurama! Open your prize and see what you've won!" He exclaimed exuberantly. Trying to wrap her head around his behavior and the gift she had just gotten from him, she unfurled the scroll. She was quickly surprised to see the instructions for a C-rank genjutsu technique complete with a chakra training manual for said technique.

"Now don't go practicing that yet. We still have a couple more weeks left before we get to the good stuff. Now then, we still have four more rewards to give out! Uchiha Sasuke, come on down and play 'Can You Guess What Uzumaki Naruto Was THINKING'?!" Only when those words were uttered did Sasuke and Yakumo hear cheers in the form of Naruto with his hands over his mouth. Yakumo noticed Sasuke seemed to be getting angrier and angrier. However, he decided to answer anyway.

"You wanted to see how we would do under pressure?" Sasuke asked. Fireworks shot into the air. What the hell? The two stared at Naruto gave him a thumbs up. He reached into his pouch and tossed the Uchiha a scroll as well.

"Lucky contestant number two!" He declared. The Uchiha unfurled the scroll. Based on the kanji and the technique behind it, what he had been given was a fire release technique…so why did it come with a training manual for the lightning-based techniques? Still, it was a technique that the Uchiha didn't recognize so he would make full use of it. Perhaps he could train with it in private. Screw the waiting. He would need this even more than the Kurama clan heir would ever realize.

Naruto saw the hungry look in Sasuke's eyes. He rolled his eyes, but he ignored it. Well, the Uchiha was going to be in for a tiny little surprise regardless of these circumstances. In any case, he had a great laugh watching Sasuke and Yakumo scramble their little noggins for more answers. Unfortunately, they were all wrong and Naruto had enough of them just asking for the sake of getting more stuff. "Alright, alright, enough! Two out of five isn't too bad. Still, as a lesson we'll calm it down for a minute. What have I called you two from when I first recruited you to now?" Naruto asked.

"Your generals," Sasuke said without a moment. Yakumo quickly agreed…though they hadn't been doing much…general-ing yet. Admittedly, they were seven so…that wasn't too big of a surprise, but both academy students watched Naruto walk off. He beckoned them to follow him. They got up and walked after their very much mentally unstable emperor. He led them across the lake. A piece of wind flew through their faces. It almost made them forget that they had nearly been burned alive. NOT!

"Yup, you guys are my generals. What do you think that means?" he asked them. The two students glanced at each other. They nearly fell out of step with him, but they quickly moved to catch up with him. His face was surprisingly calm which crept them out for a moment. However, they were quick to get over it.

"We're…supposed to lead your armies? Which you haven't even told us how we're supposed to…," Yakumo stopped when Naruto raised a hand. He continued walking. They followed after him. He took a still breath.

"Yeah, that's one thing you're supposed to do. You're supposed to lead my armies and spread my influence over every corner of the world. You both have taken to the training rather well. Of course, Yakumo's still a shaky because of her body, but progress is progress. What else are you supposed to do?" Naruto asked. Yakumo thought to herself and so did Sasuke. The three continued walking.

The Uchiha was the next one to reply. "You're obviously "training" us in your ridiculous methods so I would imagine we're going to be fighting a lot," Sasuke said. Naruto tilted his head to the side. True, but not what he was looking for. That more or less laid with Yakumo's statement and he had told them of such. Sasuke naturally pouted and folded his arms in that 'Shut up, I'm an Uchiha and I knew that' look.

"Is that all?" Naruto asked. Sasuke and Yakumo were caught off-guard. They did not know what answer was acceptable to him. Truth be told, Naruto wasn't expecting them to know. Hell, he might have given them their gifts right then and there if they did. However, he decided to stop. They stopped as well. They not noticed they were on the other side of the lake.

He took off his shoes and then most of his clothes sans his boxers. Yakumo squealed and closed her eyes, but Naruto didn't pay attention to that. Instead, he stepped into the lake. Its cool features eased his feet. "I said you were going to be my strongest generals. You two and three others are going to be stronger than anyone in this world apart from me. You will meet with many people: people you love, people you hate, and people you don't even care about, but…you will have to learn to care for all of them underneath you. You're going to negotiate with people you don't like, and you WILL win them on our terms. Your names are going to ring throughout the edges of eternity. This is going to be the last, and only empire on this earth. No one will challenge me and they will not challenge you. You will make your families the happiest they will ever be. However, you are not that yet. You will learn to become that though. So, we'll be giving you a little head start. However, it stop there. From past here, the only thing you will get is from your blood, sweat, tears, and my laughs. Now, get in the water," he said. Yakumo and Sasuke gawked.

"You mean…take off our clothes and get in the water with…you?!" Yakumo asked. Naruto floated in the water for a minute before laying on his back. Honestly, stupid seven-year old virgins. Funny how Yakumo of all people would be embarrassed by this. The things that girl could do with a damn paintbrush were so…erm…anyway…

"Unless you prefer to be soaked to the bone while walking back to your respective compounds, that is generally what 'get in the water' means. Thank you!" He commented. Forgive him for the sarcasm, but…no, actually don't forgive him. What the fuck did he care? Besides, Naruto was definitely the type of guy to netori a person's lovely lady if he got the chance. In any case, he could see the trepidation on their faces. Yakumo kept doing that stupid 'Sakura side glance' thing between Sasuke and Naruto that irked the blonde to no end. Kurama, make note. Make Haruno Sakura blind if evil route becomes a reality. **Duly, wonderfully, and cruelly noted.**

Yakumo took a step back. "Erm…I don't think that's a good idea. I've followed through with the other crazy stuff, but…I can't undress in front of two boys!" she said. Naruto closed his eyes and groaned. Fuckin' virgins! Fuckin' stupid, goddamn virgins! Sigh, still perhaps the blonde would have to deal with this.

"Yakumo, I'm sure Kami-chan isn't going to smite you down for sharing a near one mile lake with two prepubescent boys. Even more, I have seen women much more mature than you for you to make me feel anything. Plus, we're with Mr. 'Wake Me Up Inside! I Can't Wake Up! Evanescence' Uchiha here. I think your "purity" is intact. Now stop acting like such a virgin and strip!" Naruto commanded. Honestly, he had other things to do and trying to get a girl to get through her stupid experiences wasn't one of them, yet.

Yakumo squirmed where she stood. Embarrassment filled her body. This…this was definitely a lot more than she had bargained for. "W-What if I wear a swimsuit? I can run back home and get it!" She reasoned with him. Sasuke watched the interaction between the two of them, but…he didn't like the silence in the air. He and his follow general looked the blonde floating in the water. He stared at her and closed his eyes. He stopped moving his legs and sunk into the waters below. His thoughts were mixed. He was pretty damn sure he told her to strip! He didn't mean down to her damn bathing suit! WHY COULD NO ONE FOLLOW SOME GODDAMN INSTRUCTIONS?!

GODDAMN!

FUCKIN!

VIRGINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! **"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"** Naruto shouted as he pushed the entire force of his chakra into the earth below. The ground shook with violent tremors which rocked not just Konoha, but the entire world of the elemental nations. Kurama fell on his ass laughing as a powerful energy enveloped Naruto and exploded covering the whole world in a destructive light which destroyed nearly everything in its pathway. It only took about forty seconds for it to engulf the entire planet. A thunderous explosion of planet destroying proportions was quickly heard outside.

"(Huff) (Huff) (Huff)…fuck, I did something stupid didn't I?" Naruto asked. Kyuubi cackled in his cage as he looked at the chaos of the Armageddon that he had caused. The lake he had swam in had dried up and the skies rained down fire and brimstone. Spirits wailed in the skies above and the blonde felt the need to put his head in his hands. _"Just…just fuck me right? Just take the biggest, widest, thickest kunai and FUCK ME WITH IT RIGHT NOW!"_ Naruto grumbled in thought. Hearing his friend dying of laughter wasn't helping either.

With a growl, he walked out of the lake and into the former green forests that had been Konoha. Nothing, but destroyed and scorched earth remained. He stared at his destruction. _**"I take it back! This is so much better than the evil route!"**_ Kyuubi chuckled as he watched the carnage around them. Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose, and it wasn't long before he felt that familiar sense of spiritual energy. He turned around and he noticed the lovely eyes of the Shinigami upon him.

" **Is this because of my shotacon comment? If so, I'm not apologizing, but…I'll at least understand why,"** she said. Naruto craned his neck and released a tired sigh. Thunder rolled in the heavens above. He felt a small chuckle on his lips.

He walked forward. "Nope, I just got into the feeling of Day After Tomorrow. God, I just…wanna fuck something right now!" Naruto said. He noticed the Shinigami traced her finger around his cheek. It was a rather cold touch, but a welcome one. He turned around and noticed the seductive look in her eyes.

" **Ooooh, you didn't have to bring about the end of the world just for that. I had this new outfit I wanted to show you. I could have even given you an x-ray fetish. Every man loves to see his cum splash into the body of a woman! Do you know how much goo girl hentai I've read?"** She asked, and Naruto wouldn't lie, but if he was a bit older he would have taken her on that. That actually gave him another idea for another realm actually. There was another reason that he didn't take up the offer, he would like…the little trooper to expand a bit more before doing anything. Oh let him be clear, when he turned twelve, he didn't care what anyone thought! Some lucky, or unlucky, girl was getting it for his birthday! Now, whether that was the Shinigami nor not, well….

"Just help me fix this mess. I bet Kami-chan's gonna send her hot ass daughters to round me up for this," Naruto said as he slapped his hands together. The death god floated behind him and quickly supplied him with her power. **"Oh don't act like you won't smack those firm asses when you see them. Oh dear, look at you, getting me to say such indecent and uncouth things about my nieces. For shame!"** she said. Naruto turned to her and she jumped with a shriek when he smacked her ass as well.

"Don't act like I can't do the same to you. Now, help me get this one!" He said. She smiled and did so. Chakra blasted through the blonde's body as time slowed to a stop. It quickly began to repair itself. Naruto saw life continue as it had been doing and the earth was whole once again. Trees swayed in the breeze of the wind and the lake was cold with water once again. He saw Yakumo and Sasuke come back to standing at the edge of the lake. Naruto released a breath and shook his head. Yup, still exhausting.

" **By the way, what did she say that made you Armageddon the world?"** The death god asked. Naruto snorted before he whispered into her ear. The Shinigami widened her eyes and laughed. She held her stomach with a hard chuckle. **"Hahahaha! Fuckin' virgins!"** She exclaimed with mirth before fading out. Naruto couldn't help, but agree and slowly, but surely time began to flow normally again.

"W-What if I wear a swimsuit? I can run home and get it," Yakumo said. Naruto glanced at her and the deal with his two generals. Fuck it. Inputting hacks into the fun. Everyone pull out your game sharks! Pull out your game genies! Pull out your damn action replays! Suck a dick life! Yakumo's breath stilled when she looked at the blonde's eyes. Naruto took a deep breath.

Up, Down, Down, Up, A, B, Down, B, Up, A, Left, Right, Up, Up, Down, B, B, Down, Up, Down! The blonde's eyes turned a slight purple. "Yakumo, quit being a prude. We're going to do this once and none of us are going to speak of it ever again. No one is asking you to get naked. Your body is not something to be embarrassed out. It's a great thing. In fact, you're hot. You're every pubescent boy's fantasy. You should act more confident. Show 'em who's boss," he said and his eyes turned to normal. Sasuke stared between the two and Yakumo held her head down.

"On second thought, my house is sort of far. I'll just…deal with it! Don't stare too much, please! But I could understand why you would. It's a nice body" she said. Sasuke watched in stilled shock when Yakumo took off her clothes. She folded them and placed them to the side which left her in her unmentionables. She walked into the water as well. Naruto finally breathed a sigh of relief. He then noticed the Uchiha still at the edge.

"Should I do you too?" He asked. The young Uchiha snorted, but he quickly began to take off his own clothes. This was done with more noticed growls and snarls. The blonde didn't care as long as the Uchiha got his stupid ass in the water. **"Hmmm didn't think the Uchiha made their own underwear too."** Kurama said, more to himself. Naruto kept his eyes above the waist. Nope. No Yaoi. No matter the realm! Fuck that.

" **Please, remember the time with Haku that you…,"**

" _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP! ENOUGH! DON'T YOU DARE BRING THAT UP! NEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXT!"_ Naruto shouted mentally. The uproar of Kurama's laughter sent the Nine-tailed Fox falling on the floor. **"No? I still got the video if you want a replay of the..,"** The connection was abruptly cut. The Kyuubi laughed even more. Oh god, it was too good.

Naruto released a pant. He was so close to destroying the world again. Kami, he needed some mind soap. In any case, he opened his eyes and he saw them watching him. The blonde grumbled and released one more sigh. Deep breaths, Naruto! Deep, deep, memory-destroying breaths! "Alright, listen. The type of generals that I need you both to be…in this lifetime you would never make it. No matter how much I trained you normally, you wouldn't become strong enough to what I need you to be. That's not a limit on you, but on the life you've been handed. Me? I got my strength from a means that would turn others to the very ashes of molten flames," Naruto said. No, not true, but no need to go telling who many lifetimes he lived.

"If that's the case then why are you bothering with all of this? This sounds like such a waste of time then!" Sasuke said. Yakumo almost couldn't help agreeing, at least before Naruto chopped the Uchiha on the head. The brooding duckling rubbed his scalp. However, the two of them watched Naruto clap his hands together.

"I said 'normally', Sasuke. So, I'm going to give the both of you a head start. I'll give you both exactly one percent of the total power I've got. Now, let's get this over with," Naruto said. Yakumo and Sasuke didn't even have the time to process his words. Their minds quickly recalled the abilities he had used all while having a smile on his face as if he had just done something incredibly simple. Their breath hitched in their throats. Sasuke eagerly imagined Itachi kneeling at his feet. Yakumo imagined the praise and recognition of her family. For Naruto, it was too easy to see what they wanted.

He held out his hands to them. "However, you better understand what you're giving up. You will both listen to me, obey me, follow me, and protect me for the rest of your lives. Everything you own is mine, everything you desire I will know about and will give it to you when I feel you are ready for it. The very essence of your lives is in my hands. We all in agreement?" He asked. Now, one might be thinking, 'Naruto, isn't this a bit much to be asking from two seven-year olds?! You mean extortionist!'

Okay first of all, Naruto was not an extortionist. They were getting, and he was getting back. A simple equal trade. Secondly, fuck you. He was stronger than you anyway. He didn't need your damn approval! He could see the look of confusion, shock, and uncertainty in their eyes. This was more apparent in Yakumo's eyes than in Sasuke's. "Why would we do that when you haven't even taught us anything amazing yet?! All you've had us do is chakra exercises and kicking trees for the past two weeks!" Sasuke said. Do not destroy the world, Naruto. Do not destroy the world, Naruto. Do Not Fuck Sasuke's mother, Naruto! Do not netorare Sasuke's father, Naruto! DO NOT TURN SASUKE INTO A TOMATO, NARUTO!

"Because Sasuke, use that overgrown tomato in your head. The types of training I'm going to give to the both of you would break A LOT of people. You're going to need this if you want any chance of surviving. Do I have to recall to you that we're seven? I'm already modifying your chakra more than normal. But, I'm not the type to give over power without some type of deal. No one is! Now, if you both don't decide to accept my terms…then that's fine. We'll part ways. You'll never see me interact with you again, but I'll me taking your memories of all the time we've spent and on my goals. You can return to your ordinary, unfulfilling lives of family neglect and vengeance. It will have nothing to do with me anymore," Naruto said.

Sasuke bit his lower lip. As stupid and insane as Naruto was, the Uchiha was still convinced by the strength and power he had seen. He would have been insane himself to refuse. But…obey the dobe in everything?! He wasn't even sure his pride could take it! Yet, Naruto was going to be the emperor of the entire world. People were going to obey him regardless. However, he wanted Itachi dead! He wanted him to suffer for what he had done to their family! If…if this was the price! "Swear to me that I will get to kill Itachi!" Sasuke said.

Naruto blinked. The pain and pressure itched itself across Sasuke's face. Damn, talk about drama queen. "Serve me his head if you want. I don't really care. But in the interest of appeasing you, yes Sasuke. I, Uzumaki Naruto, do wholeheartedly swear to let you kill Uchiha Itachi. Wanna pinky swear to go with it?" Naruto asked, but Sasuke just snorted.

"Hmph, fine. If you give me that, then I don't mind obeying anything you say. Everything I own is yours," Sasuke said. Fuckin' finally. Naruto then turned to Yakumo, and the girl held her head down.

"I…I give Naruto-san my everything as well. I don't want to be a weak clan heir! If I can make the Kurama clan among the greatest clans in the world, then…everything I have is a small price to pay," She said. Naruto smirked. He wondered if they would be able to say those things much later in their lives, but...they would learn that with him. For now, he had two generals to break into his mold. He raised his thumb to his mouth, and he quickly bit down on it. His blood dripped into the lake and they watched it glow with a very strange light. It made the cold water seem much cooler. He closed his eyes. "Drink my blood. It doesn't have to be much, just enough," He said. They weren't even allowed to show shock before he spoke.

" **I am the one to temper the lands. I am the one to unite the lost. In the worlds of strife, I will end the wars which make the people cry, and I will be the one to challenge the gods who play their foolish games with the lives of mortals. My name is Uzumaki Naruto, last prince of the royal bloodline of the Uzumaki clan. Those bathed in the waters of my blood before me, all shall be under them, and they under me. By my name, the Kurama clan, and the Uchiha clan shall be blessed with great fortune. Forever are they at the side of the Uzumaki clan,"** He said. They assumed that this was the time and, though with trepidation, they drank his blood from his thumb.

They both gasped as pain exploded through them, but it was only for a moment. Sasuke and Yakumo then felt immense chills, and then intense heat! Naruto and Kurama watched as the two had their hair color change into at least three different colors in the span of about ten seconds. **"You're going for that stupid 'taste the rainbow' thing, aren't you? You are such an idiot!"** Kyuubi smirked. Naruto grinned with him.

" _Hey, it's good candy,"_ Naruto remarked. His attention turned back to his generals as their seizures came to an end. They both floated in the water, unconscious. The young blonde shook his head and dragged them out of the lake. He rested them on the ground. He returned to the pond only for a moment before scooping up water and pouring it on their faces. They both coughed and leaned up. They saw their emperor standing over them. "So…how do we feel?" Naruto asked. Yakumo rubbed her eyes. Sasuke did the same.

"I don't feel any different," The heiress of the Kurama clan said. Naruto would have smacked her over the head had she not just woken up from being unconscious. He could obviously tell that the Uchiha felt the same way. Don't fuck their mothers, Naruto! Don't fuck their mothers! Kami, help him!

"This isn't Dark Souls, you two! Of course, you're not going to feel it instantly! I've shown you how strong I am. If I don't limit you, I'm like…eighty-five percent sure your bodies would implode if I didn't. I had to do it and you're no different. You'll grow into it and as you work more and more, I'll give you more and more of my power. For now, that's more than enough for you." Naruto said. They glanced to each other, but neither spoke further.

Upon seeing this, Naruto then clapped his hands. "Alright, now then, who loves homework? I know I don't, but I'm sure you two dooooo" He said, a cheery tone on his lips. The two grimaced, but their blonde emperor gave them no time to react. He held two scrolls in front of them. He dropped them on their laps.

"Well, I have things to do now. Cya, my cute generals!" He said as he waved. He vanished out of their sight which left them alone. Sasuke grumbled to himself, but he opened his scroll. Yakumo decided to follow suit. She opened hers and they both trembled. Sasuke's hands grabbed the folds of the scroll. He was going to kill that damn emperor! HE WAS SO GOING TO KILL HIM! Even, Yakumo felt the need to shiver at what she was looking at. Both could just hear Naruto cackling at their misfortune. Kami rest their weary souls.

-x-

Kurenai groaned as she pushed her head up from her pillow. She would have still been sleeping if not for the intense knocking on her door. She hoped it wasn't Asuma again. She didn't want to see the bearded jonin yet, if at all. She did not mean to be rude, but…recent revelations had her spiraling out of her head. She turned her head to her nightstand. That same silver amulet she had been given by the Kyuubi jinchuuriki rested on top of it. How many hours had she looked at the photo inside? How many hours had she waited for one of the departments to determine the picture's authenticity? How many hours…had she looked at the letter sent to her claim that everything in the photo…was real and authentic? Too many hours. Yes, way too many hours.

The knocking continued, and it brought her out of her thoughts. A sigh escaped her lips. She pushed the covers off her body and stood to her feet. She touched the locket. Her apparent children and apparent husband rested in its crest. What was she supposed to do? She decided to go answer the door. That sounded like a good idea. So, she walked out of her bedroom and towards the front door.

"Nai-chan, come on! You've been in there for about three days now! Come get some fresh air!" she heard the voice of her best friend say. Honestly, Kurenai was not even aware of those three days. Had that much time passed? Come to think of it, when was the last time she ate? She didn't remember.

Do not ask her why she opened the door, but even now she wished that she hadn't. "What is it, Anko?" Kurenai asked. Her disheveled state had caught her friend entirely by surprise, and why would it not? Kurenai was sure she didn't have her make up on, she was still in her sleep attire, and the light of the sun was stinging her eyes. She could not have been a great sight.

"Kurenai, come on! It's just a photo! You act like no one's forged a photo before. Okay, I admit, we were both caught off by the brat turning into the greatest combination of eye candy meat this side of the Elemental Nations, but that doesn't automatically say he's from the future…or that you were married to him," Anko said. Kurenai really wanted to close the door, but…she did not. Sleep was starting to sound like more and more of a good idea. If only to not go through this ordeal that she had right this moment.

The red-eyed woman opened her door. She allowed her friend inside. If Anko could say anything, then at least her friend didn't turn into a slob. She was half expecting pants and shirts to be hanging from the ceiling and off the couches. Luckily that wasn't the case. She would have laughed otherwise. "And how many forged photos have made it past Konoha inspection? Only one has done that and it was because there was no way of ascertaining the type of day as depicted in the picture. By the department, it's as authentic as any other photo," she replied, handing Anko the document. Said purple-haired woman looked it over and grumbled.

"Nai-chan…," Anko began, but Kurenai walked over to the locket and opened it. "Look at them, Anko. I've been looking at nothing, but this locket for Kami knows how long. The clothes they wear are exactly like the ones I talked about when Asuma said I would make a great mother. They look so happy…and so do I. It's like this one photo encapsulates the life I probably lived. Look at her hair, its exactly like how I would want it because my mother always had it that way," she said, but Anko grabbed her shoulders.

"Dammit, Nai-chan. Listen to yourself! You've never had kids! Hell, you're still a virgin! Trust me, with all my teasing, I know for a fact you haven't slept with anyone yet. Go to Hokage-sama with this! We have the photo and the recorded video! Have him investigate this!" Anko suggested. She watched Kurenai sit in her chair.

The woman placed her head in her hands. "I know! I know! I know! But…," She paused. She released a sigh. Anko released a hard breath and stood next to her friend. The way Kurenai clenched the necklace quickly reaffirmed Anko's thoughts.

"You…you want him to be right?" Anko asked. Kurenai slammed the locket on the table in front of her which caused it to bounce onto the floor. She stood up. "NO! Yes? I don't know! Anko, I feel like I'm going insane, and I don't know what to do," the red-eyed woman said before she sat back on her couch. Anko watched her friend. The confusion weighed heavily upon her.

Anko released a breath. Fine, then if her best friend wasn't going to do it then she would get the answers herself. Hopefully then, they could both go to the Hokage and they would all see that this was just another ridiculous prank by a brat. If it was then Anko would make damn sure that not even the Anbu would stop her from giving the kid a piece of her mind, but most of all Kurenai would get behind this once and for all.

However, outside of Kurenai's apartment complex, just near the edge of the stairs leading down to her door, Naruto took his hand off the wall and scratched his cheek. _"Well, damn, I wasn't expecting her to have a breakdown. Was the kids part too much?"_ He asked. Kurama quickly snorted.

" **Personally, not really. Didn't you hear her? She already adores them! Though, you have to admit that the picture scene does fit in very well with that time she trained you in that previous realm,"** The fox replied. Naruto thumped the wall with his fingers. Hmm, it wouldn't do well to have Anko going to the Hokage. Well, Naruto could actually think of at least fifteen funny scenarios for this, but that wasn't what he was going for…yet. He also didn't need Kurenai suffering needlessly. Yet, Kurama had deigned Kurenai as one of Naruto's mates so he had to make that work…somehow.

"WAIT! I've got it!" Naruto said. Kurama opened one of his eyes, and he watched his blonde container stare at him behind the cage. The Nine-tailed fox felt a shiver run down his spine. "Ohhhhhh Ku-ra-ma-chan!" Naruto said sweetly. It didn't take long for the Kyuubi to see the blonde weaving this handsigns. Oh no. Not again!

" **You…owe me so damn big when we're done! You're doing that evil route even if it KILLS YOU!"** Kurama said. Naruto's grin only widened as he walked into the cage. Yeah yeah. Talk it up fox boy! For right now, this was as evil as Naruto could be, and he was absolutely loving it. However, after this, he had some other things to take care of. First off, was a very beautiful lady in his bed.

-x-

Pakura opened her eyes and she stared at the familiar ceiling. Three days had passed. She could hear the sounds of chopped wood outside the house. A soft smile appeared on her face. She did not say it, but she had found an odd satisfaction of waking up on this room, and listening to the sounds of a certain man outside. The room felt very spacious, and the warmth of the sun rested just on her body but below her face. She could manage some light stretches to flex the muscles, but the pain in her body was naturally still a deterrent for strenuous activity. "Goooood morning, beautifu…oh right, you have a name now, Pakura-chan! Damn, I miss calling you what you are," and then there was the person with all the flattery and comments, coming into the room. He carried a tray of food with him. Much to her disappointment, he came with his shirt on...erm, not that this should have made a difference either way. It didn't! SHUT UP!

Anyway, she watched him place the tray on the table next to her. The food smelled heavenly as always. "Now then, let's lean you up and get some food in you," He said. He gently pulled her up. He fed her the food and slowly allowed her to swallow. Heh, swallow. The smile on her face whenever she ate the food was glorious to his eyes. Yet, she didn't know this.

With that done, he quickly picked her up, and took her to the bathing area. He closed his eyes, yet he navigated his house with expert precision that Pakura always felt stumped by. He did not bump her into any furniture or walls along their trip. He was also very accommodating to any displeasure that could have been shown on her face. He opened the door to the bathing area and effortlessly filled the tub with hot water. She watched him with scrutiny, but his eyes remained completely closed the entire time when he undressed her. Oh, trust and believe, she had put up a small fight when he took her here, which caused her to reopen one of her wounds. That…was when she had seen one of his more…intense sides. She knew she was being stubborn that time…again. She couldn't move, and thus…she couldn't wash herself. Her displeasure must have shown because Naruto just did the bare minimum before getting her done.

Now, she sighed in the hot, soothing water. He washed her face and soaped her hair. He made sure none of it got in her eyes. How he was able to do this with his eyes closed was beyond her. "Alright, as usual, I'll keep above the chest line. When you're feeling better then you can do…those areas yourself," he said. She wasn't sure if she actually heard him or not, it was a jumble in the face of the touches upon her body.

She sighed blissfully when she felt him wash her neckline and run a piece of cloth on her back. He took her legs and washed those as well. As attentive as she should have been, she found herself closing her eyes and almost falling asleep again. Either blame the soothing water, the herbs or even blame the masseuse working her over, but she enjoyed the feeling and eased herself back. She felt him rub her neckline and then he rubbed her arms. Every injury on her body felt inconsequential. She was already presumed dead by Sunagakure…would she be able to make a life here? No, how could she impose on him like that? But, he did live alone. He also wasn't terrible looking. He was very handsome, funny, supportive, not bad on the eyes. Dear Kami, was she fangirling?

Pakura released a breath when she felt his hands rub her sides. A bit lower than she thought he would go, but it wasn't unwelcome at all. None of his touches were inherently perverse, but they felt so good. It was as if tiny shocks of lightning fired off through her body. She tried to keep an eye on him, but his own eyes were still closed. She could feel him roll his hands down her spine. He cleaned as much as he could without her feeling uncomfortable. "I meant what I said. I would go right to Sunagakure and punch that Kazekage for what he did to you. You're very beautiful, Pakura-san. Very…beautiful." Naruto said.

His breath was enticingly hot against the nape of her neck. She surmised he was a tad close because he couldn't see, but his words made her shiver. One hand washed her legs and the other worked just short of the inner workings of her thighs. Whether from the heat of the bath or the friction of her caretaker's hands on her skin, her face was flushed. It felt nice to be desired. She slowly opened her eyes and realized that she was aroused. Her chest was pounding, but he only gave her gentle washes which she couldn't get angry at. It felt very good. It was painful how his blind eyes missed the sensitive nips of her flesh, and she knew why he did, but it almost felt like he was teasing her.

This continued and she wants to clench her legs under this wonderful assault on her body. She leaned against his shoulder. Kami, such a sensual touch and it didn't even have to feel invasive. "And now, let's wash all this stuff off," he said and he grabbed the shower head. He washed the soap off her body making her lightly groan when the warm water tickled her thighs and her hardened nipples. She inhaled and exhaled a ragged moan. She could feel her body quivering with need. However, she would be left with that need because Naruto turned off the water and drained the tub.

"There! Beautiful inside and out! Now! Heave ho!" He said pulling her body out of the water. She panted, aroused and frustrated because of said arousal. He toweled her off, making her shiver when he rubbed her legs, her back and just above the depths of her ass. He then got her dressed in some casual clothes.

She wobbled in his arms. "Now then, how about some sun dattebayo! I got a great spot to soak in some vitamin D." He said. She weakly nodded and he took her out of the house. With a quick jump, he landed on the top of his roof and settled her down. She stared over the vastness of the dimension he had…supposedly created. It was…very beautiful, and she would have liked to say so but…it was windy and the breezes were brushing against her aroused chest. She really hoped he couldn't feel her ragged breath, but…he could.

He gently massaged her back. See men, women weren't complicated creatures. It only took Naruto…nearly a thousand years, and...459 realms to understand the female creature. Sheesh, now everyone could stop crying. A simple touch here, and a hard touch there had her right where he wanted her. Obviously, there was more than one way to see a person than with the eyes. Kami, her skin felt smooth. Maki was one lucky girl to have such a beautiful sensei. "Why…are you…being so nice to me? We don't…even know…each other," she said.

She sighed when she felt him rub her shoulders. The warm sun on her face felt lovely. She leaned against his frame. She reasoned this was something she had to comply with since she still wouldn't be moving in the coming weeks. Yes, that's why she was snugglin…leaning against him! Pakura did not snuggle. Possibly! She huffed when his finger traced her back. "Hmmm, why am I so nice to you? Because, as I said, I know the hand you've been dealt. I don't know. Look out there, the sun in the sky, trees all around, I worked so hard to create this, not a single piece of war to go around. Nature cycles and there is only you and me here. It's a world I want everyone to experience. I want everyone to see a sun light like this. No war, no famine, the only sadness to be found is when your loved one slowly passes away into harmless sleep, but…there will be no Great Nations. It will be…All Under One Rule, an empire." Naruto said.

Pakura was a bit more awake than she had been previously. "That is entirely unrealistic. That also sounds very egotistical. Not everyone wants peace. There is always someone who just wants the world to burn," She said with a surprising lack of pain in her voice. Naruto chuckled. He turned to her, and he noticed her serious gaze upon him. He leaned his head back. For Pakura, despite her rather callous words, he was hardly perturbed.

"You're right, but I'm going to do it anyway. I would like to think that for every ten people who ask for the world to burn, there is one who wishes they didn't think that way. However, I could be overthinking this and maybe you're just worried about me?" he asked. Pakura blinked. She opened her mouth. She then closed it. The light tint of her blush was easily identified by the blonde.

The Suna woman painfully snorted. "I just don't want you being disappointed when your world doesn't exist," she said, but he suddenly appeared very close to her. She stilled when she looked into his eyes. They were so serene. He was a very sweet man. She did not want him to end up like she had. His shoulders jiggled for a moment. She watched him chuckle and then roar in laughter. He clutched his stomach. Kami, it had been a while since anyone had to "worry" about him of all people.

He removed a tear from his eyes. He thumbed her cheek which made her shiver. "Well then, when I've healed you back to full health, I'll just have to show you what I'm capable of. Be sure to keep your eyes on me, Pakura-san. I'm gonna surprise you. But, if you're asking why I'm so nice to you, then it's because…I think every emperor needs an empress," He said, and, before she could even respond, he claimed her lips with his own. Her eyes grew, and visions of her walking with Naruto in a red and white regal clothing. Material of silk, cotton, and bamboo fiber successfully crafted their cloth. He waved to those of their empire, and she waved with him. She could hear the people cheer in her ears. All…Under…One…Rule…of…Emperor…Uzumaki…Naruto…and…Empress…Uzumaki…Pakura. That…sounded rather pleasant.

Kyuubi smirked as he threw some popcorn into his mouth. **"Still a better love story than Ninjalight."**

-x-

" **I think every emperor needs an empress? If I could cringe I would do it right now! Even after so many realms, your lines still suck!"** Kyuubi said while Naruto cleaned out his ears. The blonde grumbled to himself for a moment under the howls of his friend. His feet touched the sharp ground of cavern earth. School had just let out, and Naruto wanted to get to his next general before it was too late. True, he could have warped there, but come on! Come on! Why use the fast travel when there was so much world to see? Besides, side quests could abound in the outside world. Despite SOMEONE'S bitching, he still had a temple to create as well.

"They aren't lines, IF YOU MEAN THEM KURAMA! I was being serious! Kinda! There. We gotta do this right! I'm not gonna half-ass the harem route. Especially with the stupid stuff I'm gonna have to deal with later. I'm still trying to get stuff done for Kurenai, and my other general still had some growing up to do. Well, they all do obviously, but I'll leave them alone for right now. For now, I've got to do some boss battling. Unless…you want to," Naruto remarked. Kurama grinned to himself. His red eyes glowed. Now, who was Naruto to deny that?

" **Don't kid me, brat. I'm more than willing to wait for my stuffed chicken dinner! It's better to let it marinate before you devour it anyway!"** Kyuubi said. Naruto smiled.

He stepped around a corner and, just as he thought, his general was watching the scene in front of her, crying her eyes out. The blonde glanced forward. Ten people, or possibly more than that were wearing masks and robes. _"Heh, I feel like I'm in The Descent. Only in my case, I could turn all those damn cave dwellers into my bitches! Oooh, that's one for the notepad! Elemental Nations: Underground Hall! Yeah, that sounds about right! Alright, anyway, back to the objective,"_ Naruto thought. He watched his general clench a piece of fabric in her hands.

He decided to make his presence known. He touched her shoulder. She whipped her head around, but a hand covered her mouth. She stared into his blue eyes. He got the information he needed out of her gaze. He could see the hurt and the pain in them. Heh, such a contrast to who she would be in the future. "It's painful, isn't it? Just watching on the sidelines. You wish you could go down there, don't you? You want to make them pay, don't you? Wait for my signal" He asked. Her shock brought her back to her grief, and her anger. Her eyes burned into his own. Yes, Naruto liked that look. That look that would burn through an entire enemy force if only trained to do so. He noticed she was a bit…older in this realm than he had intended, but they could improvise.

He did not wait for her to reply. He removed his hand from her mouth. She did not scream. She did not say a word to his mysterious presence. "Just watch, I'll fuck them up for you. Hell, maybe in time, I'll even be able to get your friend out of there," He said. She gasped, but he just patted her shoulder. He walked past her. She watched him wrap himself in a dark cloak and a fox mask. Now then, time to represent. Anyone got any popcorn?

Naruto stepped into the cavern. "What is taking so long?! You were supposed to have the box open by now! Need I remind you all what's at stake here?" he asked. His voice echoed which surprised them all. The girl watched with bated breath as the blonde man who had just appeared walked before those clothed in black.

"Who are you? I have never seen you before. State your na…aruegh!" the person this voice belong to garbled out blood as he dropped to the ground, dead. Before the other men could get rid of their shock, Naruto quickly took command and straightened his fox max. He brought them all back to him.

Anger and chaos exploded from his body. "Anyone else want to waste our time with meaningless chitchat?! How do you expect to explain this failure?!" He asked grabbing one by the scruff of their neck. The combined results of the failure of the box, and the figure's sudden intrusion had everyone believing what they thought couldn't be true. However, the man's grip on their consort quickly rallied their minds.

"The boy did not have enough chakra. We will have to work another solute…," the girl watched in shock as the man then spun his body and slammed one person in a wolf mask to the ground. He held a kunai to the masked man's eye. He held it just above him.

"You don't have time to work another solution! You're all lucky I don't execute you where you stand! Tch, once again, I have to clean up your messes! Consider this the last time!" He said, getting off the one on the ground. The man rolled and couched, however, Naruto wasn't done just yet. The rest of the circle stood with bated breath. None of them moved.

"Girl! Get out here!" Naruto shouted in the cavern. The young woman who had been watching swallowed the lump in her throat. Do not ask her why she was listening to a stranger, but if he was willing to expose himself then he was also willing to expose her as well. She moved from where she was hiding. Masks turned to her in surprise. She tried to keep the disdain off her face, but it didn't work. It truly didn't work when she had to look at the man who condemned her friend to a fate even worse than death. She just had to stare at her friend's father. It was easy to see the surprise on his face. She hoped guilt and shame overcame his soul and devoured it.

"Claim your name before this audience of cuckboys!" Naruto claimed. Ryuzetsu had no idea what a…cuckboy was, but she decided to respond regardless.

"Ryūzetsu," she spoke back. She was thrown a scroll and a pen. She glanced at both. Everyone noticed the man walking towards the box. She walked with him. "Make a note of this! To cuckboys, it takes more than a single being of chakra to open up a box that was nicknamed as Joke of the Shinigami! Honestly, how you were able to let a grown man and a little genin make a mockery of you and your forces is laughable. Kusagakure will retain its former glory..." He placed a hand on the box. Ryūzetsu quickly started writing as fast as she could. Those of the group widened their eyes. Naruto smirked.

"…as being CUCKED BY THE SEXIEST EMPEROR IN ALL THE ELEMENTAL NATIONS!" Naruto shouted as a bright light shined over the entire cavern. Ryūzetsu covered her eyes and she felt a hand on her shoulder. The light only lasted for about a moment before they noticed him, the girl, and the box gone. The only thing left in front of them was the scroll the girl had been holding. Soon, the words came clear as the sky to them all, but the thing that truly angered them as the middle finger where the name of the sender would go.

-x-

"Erm…why are you following me?" Naruto asked. He hopped over a hill and landed just out of the reaches of Kusagakure. He noticed Ryūzetsu not too far behind him. He inwardly smirked. He could see that fire in her eyes just as he remembered. Kami, he missed his second wife. However, right now, he had to keep moving. It wouldn't take Kusagakure long to pick up their trail. Then again, he was allowing them to pick up their trail.

Ryūzetsu panted as she fought hard to keep with him. "You made me a target of my village! You also have the box! I'm taking you in! Hopefully, they will listen, and I can be acknowledged for my service! You also have my friend!" She replied angrily. Naruto rolled his eyes for a moment. He pushed some trees out of his way.

"You know, taking someone in is usually done after fighting them. You…can you even fight?" Naruto asked. She snarled at him, but…just the thought of trying to face him filled her with dread. She did not know why, but behind that carefree nature she felt that as soon as she even tried drawing her kunai he would have her defeated and humiliated. All she could do was tail him. All she could do was follow him.

"I…I can fight!" She claimed. Naruto chuckled. Of course, she could fight. She was one of his former wives after all. Still as stubborn as ever. Of course, he knew why she wouldn't go back. She knew it too. She had no options. Naruto learned of her orphan status before they were married. The only true thing tying her down to Kusagakure was in a giant box in a separate dimension that he had created. Even young, she was a smart cookie. She knew she couldn't defeat him.

He sighed. "You do realize even your little Grass Fruit Group wanted the box, right? Oh sure, the Flower Group wanted to use it, but you obviously know why the Fruit Group didn't want it used, right?" Naruto asked. She stiffened, but she did not speak. She just kept up with him. He decided to continue on.

"They just don't want anyone stronger than them wielding the box. I'm sure they would use it for their own ends at some point. I actually remember one time the box was opened. I kid you not the biggest pair of tits came out of that box! Fuckin' last time I give Jiraiya a goddamn birthday present!" Naruto grumbled. The white-haired girl did not know how to respond to this. She had definitely picked the wrong person to follow. Naruto suddenly stopped and turned to her with a glare. She took a small step back. He towered over her.

"You just thought 'this guy is fuckin' insane! Why am I following him?' didn't you?" Naruto asked. He grinned widely at her nigh broken expression of stoic expression. She never could handle it when things happened outside of her expectations. He turned around and kept walking. Once she was able to collect herself, she began to follow him too. The moon rested in the sky.

Naruto slid down a sharp hill and landed near a river bank. She slid down with him. "Well, when you have stupid and perverted thoughts like that going around. How am I supposed to think?" Ryūzetsu replied. However, she saw Naruto look at her like she was literally the dumbest person on the face of the earth. He then pointed at her which made her give another freeze.

"Oh no, you don't! Don't even try to counter with that 'Men are disgusting perverts' bullshit with me! Sheesh, you women always act all high and mighty like you have the purest souls to be filled with the Kami's spirit! Yeah right, I bet if I went back to your house I'd find at least fifteen volumes of ero-literature! Now, are men disgusting perverts? Hell yeah we are. However, everyone has levels! There are at least twenty levels of perversion for men. But see for you girls it's 'KYA pervert! LEVEL TWENTY! LEVEL TWENTY! DESTROY! ELIMINATE! ANNIHILATE! Even though it was an accident he must have done it intentionally by accident! He must burn in the furthest reaches of the Shinigami's tight ass!' but then you go back home, break out the candles, the vib-vib, and go to town acting like you just accomplished something great!" Naruto took a breath. He took a swig of water. The blonde jinchuuriki gasped and continued.

"I'll have you know, men are open-perverts! But you women are closet-pervets to the HIGHEST ORDER! I swear if us men have twenty levels of perversion, then you have at least an extra five! So don't you even come to me with 'My desires are holier than thou male specimen!' Any other thoughts on the matter?" Naruto asked. Ryūzetsu blinked for a moment. She glanced to the left and then she glanced to the right.

"I only have…had one trashy ero-novel," she said. Naruto stared back at her. He closed his eyes, and he walked over to the hill they were just at. He slammed his face into it. Ryūzetsu watched the hill crash down into pieces. She then watched Naruto rub his forehead.

"Let's just go," he said, and she agreed. They kept walking. She looked up at him. She then released a breath. "Will…will you give me my friend back?" She asked hesitantly. He didn't turn back to her. He also didn't answer her. They kept walking for about ten minutes and she watched him begin to climb up another hill.

"In return for your friend, what will you give me?" Naruto asked. She stared at him in surprise. However, he continued on. "Listen, I do like to help people, but I do nothing for free. Well, unless it's funny for me in some way. So…what can you give me that would make me have to expend effort to save your friend?" He clarified. She slowed to a stop. He stopped with her. The slight smile on his face unnerved her, but she stared at him resolutely.

"My…body?" She asked. Naruto…stopped. Yup, brain aneurysm again! **"HAHAHAHAHHAHA! Oh fuck! I like this one! Wife number 4! Now get your stupid brain working again! So commands I!"** Kyuubi said, and he quickly fired chakra though his container's brain. Naruto blinked. DAMMIT KYUUBI!

He sighed. "As…flattering as that is, and while I'm glad to see you would go through such…odd lengths for a friend, sex…isn't what I had in mind. Though…your body brings it close. Keep going. I'll even give you a hint. I want you to give me something that has to do with your body and starts with the letter L. Oh, and you'd better hurry. It seems like Kusa shinobi are on their way," Naruto said. Ryūzetsu panicked. She could feel the chakra signatures approaching their way at high speeds. For all that they walked, they would both be detained in no time. Her brain quickened.

"My…love?" She asked. Naruto tilted his head to the side. Well, he didn't mean to sound cocky, but given his tenant's most recent request…then he would be getting that either way. He scratched his cheek for a moment.

"Hmm, close, but not that. Though, I have to say that its commendable that you would do that for your friend. Bonus points to you! Nope, keep thinking. Maybe our audience has some advice for you. Come on, what did you give Kusagakure that I might want?" Naruto asked. She didn't even get the chance to be surprised before they both surrounded by Kusagakure shinobi.

"Genin: Ryūzetsu! Surrender yourself immediately! Your crimes for attempting to open the Box of Ulitmate Bliss and for the murder of Jonin Mui's son, Muku! You and your accomplice are finished!" one of them said. Ryūzetsu widened her eyes. She was being framed? She had been called to investigate by the Grass Fruit Group! Why didn't they know that? Everyone seemed ready to take her down. She turned back to Naruto, but she was stunned that he could smile at her. She thought as hard as she could, but…the answer slowly filled her body. She…was a scapegoat. She…had been betrayed.

"My...loyalty. You…want me to serve you?" she asked. Naruto's smirk widened. The ground under them began to glow in a glorious light. Everyone noticed a wide seal on it. Naruto held out his hand. She looked out to it.

"You can either come with me, right this wrong, make those responsible pay, and grow so strong that you won't have to hide behind a wall while your friend is sacrificed for 'the glory of the village' or you surrender, I escape, and you rot in a cell knowing that the injustice put upon you will never see justice. Come, and become one of my generals, Ryūzetsu!" Naruto said. The genin stared at him and she clenched the green scarf of her friend. Her, a general?

"STOP THEM! Attack!" Unfortunately, she wasn't able to think for long. She charged at him and grabbed his hand. The seal hummed and the Kusagakure shinobi charged into the light, but they gasped when they appeared out the other side. Naruto and Ryūzetsu vanished away and the light faded into nothingness leaving the forces wondering what they had just witnessed.

-x-

This was not a morning that Sasuke enjoyed. In fact, he outright hated today. This was one of those days that you get out of bed, and you just feel like being a dick and half to anyone and everyone! Was there too many ands in that? Yes, now shut up. In any case, Sasuke did not want to be here. Most of all, as he rung the doorbell, he was thinking of every single inhumane thing he could do to Uzumaki Naruto when he got his hands on him! "Ara Sasuke-san, what a surprise to see you here. How can I help you today?" a woman, most likely the mother asked. Sasuke kept the snarl off his face.

"I…I wanted to pick up…S-Sakura and take her to school with m-me," Sasuke stuttered. The woman's eyes gleamed. Oh, he was nervous! She almost felt like she would faint when she heard those words come from the Uchiha heir's mouth. The poor boy was even trembling.

"Oh don't worry Sasuke-san, I'll quickly get her! Sakura! Hurry and come downstairs! You have a visitor wanting to take you to school!" She hollered. Oh, Sasuke was trembling. He was trembling with unfiltered rage. Oh, Sasuke was stuttering. He was stuttering to try and keep the smile on his face from cracking and giving way to the seething hatred for this assignment in his heart. This was quickly increased when he saw…Sakura come through the door.

"S-Sasuke-kun! You're here to take me to school?" she asked. Kami, even her voice was like a dead rat! Please burst into flames! Please burst into flames! PLEASE BURST HER INTO FLAMES! She…didn't burst into flames. He took a calming breath.

"Yeah, would…you do me the honor of coming with me to school? I…think you're very cute," Sasuke said. It took all of Sakura's will to not scream and alert the whole village. She quickly slammed the door and went to get ready. Sasuke's smile cracked and he opened the scroll for the mission he had been given from Naruto yesterday.

He unfurled the scroll. "Lead your target. Manipulate them. Make them work for you. Gain their complete loyalty. Don't I already have this?! Why did he give me Sakura of all people?! I hate her!" Sasuke said to himself. Why was he working himself through this ridiculousness? Was this really something that a general had to learn? Was this really something that HE had to learn? What was the point of all of this?!

Much to Sasuke's misfortune, Sakura came back just a bit more ridiculous than the last time he had seen her. "I-I'm ready to go, Sasuke-kun," she said. Sasuke nodded, and he walked her off. Of course, he had to hear Sakura's mother and father giggling as they walked off. Death. Someone was going to die for this! He swore it.

"So Sasuke-kun, how are you…,"

Sasuke didn't remember much else. He remembered people screaming. He remembered himself being cuffed, and he remembered being the happiest he had ever been in a long time, even while…he held a bloody kunai in his hands. He looked up at the sky. "Worth," Sasuke said to himself. He imagined himself rotting in jail, but…jail was so much more comparable to hell.

"Sasuke-kun, are you okay?" Sakura asked. Sasuke opened his eyes. There was no kunai in his hands. Sakura…was still alive. The Uchiha wanted to scream! The Uchiha resisted the urge to snarl! Please believe him, he actually tried. He didn't know how he didn't slit Sakura's throat on the way to the school. But…he didn't. The fantasy was not reality as much as he wanted it to be. He sighed.

"Just…peachy! Sasuke said, smiling. Please…someone out him out of his misery!

-x-

Yakumo panted as she carried a heavy bag. "Y-Yakumo-sama, that's enough! Really! We appreciate your help, but you don't need to strain yourself," one of the servants said. They were all worried when they watched her hand at manual labor, but the heiress to the Kurama clan was not to be deterred. Admittedly, she didn't know how much…manipulating she was doing, but…this was the best she had since she wasn't attending the academy…yet.

"N-Nonsense, you all work so hard! I couldn't…think better of not trying to help. I…I just don't want to…take anyone for granted," she said. The servants gasped as they watched her work. She did exactly as they instructed. It made them laugh when she messed up, and it touched her heart when they taught her such things as cultivating plant life, and taking care of the environment around her.

Yakumo didn't understand how she was supposed to get…people to 'fight' for her, but she did like to make sure that everyone was well taken care of. Servant work, while not fun, was still a lot more entertaining than she had given it credit for. She hoped she could capture this image one day. This image of happy people. She laughed with them.

-x-

"Okay, just a little hacking here, and a little forgery there. And, printing an ID card. There! One bonafide Konoha ID genin license, and one profile in the computer. Damn, OH! I should make a spy operation! I'll call it Splinter Cell! Yeah Uzumaki Naruto's Splinter Cell. What do you think?" Naruto asked, typing on a computer. Behind him stood Ryūzetsu. She looked at the unconscious leaf chunin and jonin who had been working. She then glanced back at the one she had just sworn her loyalty to. Why…was he seven?

"You…were an adult when I last saw you. What happened?" she asked. Naruto smirked as he quickly changed back into his adult form. She watched him throw a punch before he turned back into his childlike body. He sighed.

"It's a long story. One I'll tell you when I can trust you a little more. For now, let's just say I'm stuck like this. Here, take this! Also, here's your headband. Try to remember your registration ID also. It's gonna help. Or, I could just reverse your aging process and make you the same age. You're already in the system. No one's gonna know," Naruto said. She stared at him with skepticism.

"You…can do that?" she asked. He would have snorted if not for it being her. "Hell yeah I can. Do you know how many women would fuck me if they knew I could reverse the aging process? Hell, do you know how many MEN would let me fuck them if they knew I could do that? It's an awesome thought, and a nightmarish one!" Naruto remarked.

Ryūzetsu did not reply. She just glanced off to the side. A pervert for an emperor. Did the world really need that? Then again, she did not voice this because…she didn't need anymore talk about the levels of perverseness between men and women. She also wouldn't tell him that she wished she could have gone back home for her book. Though, knowing her former village, it was most likely ashes by now.

"Oh, here's your book. I dropped by your house before coming here. I have to say, you have great taste in literature. Here's also most of your clothes and your kunoichi weapons. Try not to lose them anymore," Naruto said. She only stared at him with hard eyes. She clenched her stuff.

"If I were strong enough to land a hit on you, I would do it right now. I just want you to be aware of this," she replied. Naruto grinned and rebooted the computer. Kami, if he hadn't heard that before. He turned back to her and shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh, you're more than welcome to hit me as hard as you want. I'll just make sure you get it back in training. I can think of a lot of interesting ideas to get revenge on you," Naruto remarked. He could feel her glare at the back of his neck, and that only made him smile harder.

Once these things were done, Naruto and Ryūzetsu appeared in Naruto's apartment. She had been in here before. It had just been before her new…master, ugh, had told her that they would be going on this ridiculous mission. Which, somehow, they accomplished. "Alright, put up your things in the bedroom," He remarked. She stopped.

"We're…sleeping in the same bed? Are you some type of lolicon?" she asked. Naruto's mouth thinned. He glanced into his room. OH! Right, social morals and everything. Hmmm. He turned back to her.

"First of all, you hardly qualify as a loli anymore. Lolis are typical decided as…you know what, pick up a doujinshi from the store. That'll tell you more than I could, or want to tell you. Now then, is it really lolicon if we're the same age? No, wait. Don't answer that. Let's just move on," he said. Before Ryūzetsu could even ask him, he quickly tapped her forehead. A surge of chakra filled her body and sent her crashing to the floor.

Kyuubi opened one eye. **"Why tell her to put up her things if you were going to knock her out…after the conversation?"** Kyuubi asked. Okay, that was a bit stupid for Naruto. Point to anyone else who thought that. Now then, if we would all like to move on with the conversation.

A knock came to the door. OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS FUCKING HOLY IN THIS FUCKING VIRGN-CENTRIC WORLD! IF NARUTO ANSWERED THIS DAMN DOOR AND KAMI HERSELF WASN'T ANSWERING IT THEN NARUTO WAS GOING TO CAUSE ARMAGEDDON NUMBER TWO! JUST TRY AND STOP HIM!

"WHAT?!" Naruto asked in a growl, but he stiffened. Kurama's mouth dropped to the ground. A woman with gorgeous white hair floated into the room along with the two charges that came with her. She gazed around his apartment before she noticed the unconscious young genin on the floor. Her followers shook their heads at the sight. She turned back to the student Naruto.

"Still the same degenerate you've always been. So…you prefer lolis after all," she said, her smooth voice flowing like the air itself. Naruto's shock was quickly replaced with agitation. His eyebrow twitched for a moment before his expression relaxed. Naruto turned to her first charge. The woman blinked, but she gasped when Naruto caressed her cheek. She quickly sighed and dropped to her knees. He turned to the woman's second charge. She glared at him fiercely. He stood in front of her. The woman watched her charge attack the blonde, but Naruto moved to the side and snatched the woman's lips for her own. Her heated glare quickly gave way to bliss and she dropped as well.

"Mika-chan, Gab-chan, nice to see you two lovely ladies again." He said with a grin. The woman left standing took in a breath when Naruto grabbed her and held her by her waist. He dipped her body and he stared into her eyes. Her white hair dressed the floor.

"Oh Kami-chan, no matter what realm I go to, or what women I meet. You will always be number one to me," Naruto said. What the glorious woman was going to say quickly died down to nothing before they both felt another presence.

" **HEY! What about me?! I fucked you before she did!"** Shinigami said as she floated into the room. Kami quickly looked at her sister and chuckled. **"Well, it's only obvious that I'm number one. Naruto-kun obviously understands quality when he sees it,"** she remarked.

Shinigami snarled and before she slammed her forehead into Kami's. The two quickly growled at each other. **"You think you're such hot stuff because your tits are bigger than mine! So I can't give a great paizuri! I least I didn't gag the first time,"** Shinigami said with a smirk. Kami quickly smiled as Naruto took a small step back. He could feel the godly power explode in his room before he exploded into the sky. The sky turned black. Fire and brimstone fell upon the earth.

" **You've got some nerve, Shin-chan! At least I can handle a little rough play. Tell me, has Naruto-kun taken both your virginities? He took mine! I guess you can't handle it!"** she replied back. Shinigami stammered before she clenched her teeth. The veins in Kami's forehead pulsed as they glared at each other.

" **You stuck up bitch! I bet you've never even exhausted him before like I have!"**

" **Wanna bet!"**

" **BRING IT ON!"** They both turned their fierce, yet sexy glares onto the blonde. Kurama blinked and quickly pulled out his tape recorder. Oh yes, this was gonna be one for the shelf. Meanwhile, his jinchuuriki chuckled nervously in his seven-year old form.

"L-Ladies, I'm still seven! I haven't hit puberty yet! Y-You wouldn't take advantage of a young boy still not knowledgeable into the arts of male-female sexuality…would you?" He asked. They both smiled and descended upon him. Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat.

" _Yo Kurama, a little help here!"_ Naruto screamed. He…heard absolutely nothing. **"Hello sir. The number you are dialing is not in service. Please leave a message after the hysterical laughter. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!"** Naruto stilled. A snap of their fingers, and his clothes were gone. He also noticed…he was no longer seven. The stares of extreme lust were upon him.

"KURAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

 _ **Wifey: Are you done, honey?**_

 _ **KG: Yes dear.**_

 _ **Wifey: Very good. Come down for dinner.**_

 _ **KG: Yes dear.**_

 _ **Wifey: I'll be waiti...**_

 _ **KG: Yes dear. Yes dear. Yes dear. Yes dear! Yes dear. yEs DeAr! YEs DEar! Yessssss D-D-D-D-D-D-**_

 _ **Wifey: DAMMIT! GET BACK HERE!**_

 _ **KG: RUN! ESCAPE!**_

 _ **Wifey: YOU OWE ME CHILDREN!**_

 _ **KG: I JUST HAD TO MAKE YOU HAPPY! CHILDREN WEREN'T A PART OF IT!**_

 _ **Wifey: THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY! IF YOU'RE A MAN YOU WOULD DO YOUR JOB!**_

 _ **KG: HALP!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**KG: Sigh, Back to the old grind!**_

 _ **Wifey: Honey!**_

 _ **KG: Yes!**_

 _ **Wifey: We have to think of a name!**_

 _ **KG: We don't even know if its a boy or a girl yet!**_

 _ **Wifey: I WANT NAMES!**_

 _ **KG: Kill me plz.**_

 _ **Music of the Week: The Ballroom by Two Steps From Hell (Thomas Bergersen)**_

 _ **Quote:** **In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured," by** **Gordon B. Hinckley.**_

* * *

Some men and women say that when they climax, they see stars or they see heaven. Others say they feel an out of the body experience. Well, Naruto felt like he had just seen the creation of all eternity. He blinked when he looked up at his ceiling. **"WOOOOOOOO! Encore! Encore! Now that needs to be uploaded to P***H***!"** Kurama exclaimed. Naruto shivered when he felt the two goddesses on his arms sleeping. Maybe now was a good idea to rethink this harem ordeal. Either that or craft a jutsu explicitly for sexual encounters.

 _"I hate you. I hate you so much. I hope you NEVER GET A TEMPLE!"_ Naruto shouted. Kurama fell on his back and cackled into the depths of Naruto's mind. The Nine-tailed Fox wiped a tear from his eye. Naruto silently gritted his teeth. However, he exhaled. First order of business, craft a stronger bed. Something that could handle the acts of two…three divine beings!

He looked outside. Oh, good. They hadn't started Armageddon number two. That was always nice to see. **"Mmmm, now that was a good time. Boy, did I need that. So, my Harem Emperor, what is a goddess to do when she is wrapped around your finger?"** Shinigami asked as she playfully scratched Naruto's cheek. Her touch was cold, but nothing he couldn't get over. Naruto just looked at the ceiling again. Where had he gone wrong?

 **"Mmm, oh don't worry Naruto-kun. I never went wrong when I decided to plan your birth. I'm glad I have the results to show for it,"** Kami said. Naruto closed his eyes. Someone…please save him from the nothing he's become! The worse part was that he knew both Shinigami and Kami heard his thoughts. However, this was interrupted by a bang on the bedroom door.

"Shinigami-sama, Kami-sama, are you both quite finished with your f-f-f-f-f-f-f-fuc-fuc-fuc…procreating with that damn half-mortal?! We have business to attend to!" Gabriel called before the door opened. She looked at the scene before her. She watched Shinigami slip her arms around the blonde's neck and slowly lick his cheek. Even Kami smiled as she rubbed his chest. Gabriel gawked at this open display of d-d-d-d-d-d-d-debau-debau-debau….immodesty! She stare at Naruto's chest. That big, wide, muscular, chest. Those…beautiful eyes.

 **"What's wrong, Gabriel? Find something you like? There's room for plenty more. We were just about to seduce him again. Why not join us?"** Shinigami said, a playful smile on her face. Gabriel shivered. She noticed Shinigami open the covers to the bed. A blush as bright as a rose covered Gabriel's face upon seeing the…immodesty of the two higher goddesses.

"S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Seduce?" Gabriel asked. She then laid her eyes upon the lower end of Naruto's body. The female angel placed a hand over her mouth. It was…so…big. The white-haired woman fell back and fainted. Shinigami chuckled as she slipped out of the bed along with Kami. Naruto sighed for the last time and came out as well. Yup, new beds. On the triple.

 **"Ah, the virgins are always the best to tease. Especially the uptight ones. Though I do have to agree with her sentiments. It was** ** _very_** **impressive. It still hadn't gone down. Not even two goddess can handle such a thing. Woe to those poor mortal women who you'll ruin,"** Shinigami said. Naruto chuckled.

"You know what they say, 'Shake what you're momma gave ya!'" The blond exclaimed. Kami and Shinigami cackled before Mikael appeared in the door. She stared down at Gabriel and then at the three very nude characters next to her. More specifically, she stared with a shiver at the form of the only male in the room. It was very…impressive.

"Oh…my," she said with a blush. The feeling of yesterday's kiss still upon her lips. She turned back to Gabriel and grabbed a hold of the woman. She tried not to look at the…amazing piece of male specimen just beneath her gaze. She swallowed the lump in her throat. She took a deep breath to ease her fluttered nerves.

"I think you have been away long enough, Mother. Plus I have attended to the girl you left on the floor before going about your escapades. I do think we should vacate ourselves before she awakens. I would not seek to inform her of four divine beings in Naruto-san's living space. P-P-Plus, I've had a very welcome eyeful," she said much to the joy of Shinigami and Kami. Mikael dragged Gabriel out of the room. She closed the door behind them. It wasn't long, but Naruto could feel both their presence fade away.

Kami snapped her fingers and found herself dressed. Same could be said for Shinigami. Naruto grumbled to himself. How the hell did they do that?! He had to figure that out at some point. So, he grabbed one of his shorts and pulled it up. "Got that outta your system now, ladies?" Naruto asked, his arms folded. He tapped his foot on his floorboards.

 **"Oh look at the time! I have…important…soul reaping to do! LATTA!"** Shinigami said before she faded away, a kiss from her lips to Naruto before she was gone. The blonde then turned to Kami with a raised eyebrow. She merely stood in the room.

 **"And I have…important…G-God…stuff?"** she asked. She was ready to fade away as well, but she jumped when Naruto grabbed her arms. His eyes glared into the back of her head. Oh, she was going to have some important stuff to do!

"Ohhhhhh Kami-chaaaaaaaan! I need a wittle, itsy, bitsy, favor from you, My sweet darling goddess!" Naruto said with a wide smile. Kami chuckled nervously, but she swiftly nodded. Anything to make the Uzumaki of her eye happy. She shivered when she saw the deep desire in his own eyes. She tried to take a step back, but his hands held her firmly.

 **"Ha…ha…ha, h-how may I be of service, Naruto-kun?"** Kami asked. Naruto grinned. Now was the time for a bit of an unorthodox approach. After all, he had to make this back from the future tale with Kurenai a bit more believable. He tapped his chin. Hmmm, hey readers, how would you fuckers like a crossover? Like a mega crossover? Like the biggest fuckin' crossover in the whole of your natural lives? Oh, don't worry. You'll all get more Naruto than you can handle. Ah, it must have been a crime to be so desirable by men and women alike!

After all, as an emperor, Naruto aimed to please. He was going to be the emperor of the world after all.

-x-

 **"Sigh, I suppose I should have expected this. Just understand that they can only be here for a full day. The energy it takes to transfer multiple beings across dimensions is a heavy toll for one goddess. Plus their dimensions energy will naturally try to pull them back. If you ever want to do something like this in full effect then you'll need to get the other dimensions gods to agree. Also why do I have to do it? You could just do it on your own!"** Kami said.

Naruto stood out in a barren field. He cracked his neck. "Because I love it when you do things for me, Kami-chan. Such as you and Shinigami forcing yourselves on me and fucking me into a nigh heavenly coma," Naruto remarked. Kami pouted. Why was he acting like he didn't like it? Honestly, men.

Kami sighed, but she slowly nodded. She touched Naruto's chest and firmly pushed him. The blonde couldn't even let out a scream until he felt his feet touch pavement. The blonde blinked as he looked at his surroundings. Hmm, traditional Japanese home? Check. Modern-day cars not found in the Elemental Nations? Check. Sexy blonde realm jumper? Mmmm check. Add one more check for the sexy. Mmmm, double sexy!

 **"You know, I always wondered. How is it that our world can make a train on train tracks, have movie cameras, and movie theaters, but no one knows how to make a car?"** Kyuubi said. Naruto shrugged his shoulder. Meh, plot for the sake of plot he supposed. Now then, where was part one to the grand master plan?

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Oh, yeah…it was definitely that way. Naruto released a sigh. Honestly, couldn't that damn girl find a better use for her time? Hell, if I wasn't for her stupid demonic aura making everyone into angry activists then Naruto might have actually brought Sasuke and Yakumo along. Then again, it would have been hilarious to see the scare on their faces. Oh well, let's get this over with.

Closing his eyes, Naruto quickly scanned the area for the most malicious energy in the area. Not even three seconds passed and he zoned in on one of the houses to his left. He stepped onto the sidewalk and walked up to the house. He scratched his scalp. He tried the doorknob of one of the houses. "Locked. Typical," he said to himself. He lifted up his foot and kicked the door down. How people get locked in their own houses, Naruto would never know.

"If there's something strange in your neighborhood! Who you gonna call?!" Naruto shouted into the house.

 **"GHOSTBUSTERS."** Kyuubi shouted as he grabbed a bowl of popcorn. God, you just can't beat the classics. Then again, there were at least a couple of members missing. Oh well, solo TV shows were better anyway.

"I ain't afraid of no ghost!" Naruto hollered through the house. Now then, let's see. He stepped inside and the floorboards creaked. He could feel the natural darkness. He could feel the rising maliciousness. Lastly, he could feel the pair of eyes glaring down at him. Yup, she was here, and so was her son. Looking through the house, it was a rather traditional Japanese home. Then again, when Naruto came to this world the first time, he hadn't been expecting ghosts of all things. One can imagine how that went. He still felt silly for that fear of spirits. Still, they could be pretty damn unsettling for those of a non-epic nature like him.

Naruto could feel the anger trying to overwhelm him. This was one reason he didn't bring Sasuke with him. The Uchiha would have easily been overrun by his own hatred for his brother. The thing with curses was that it was a pain in the ass to get rid of, even for Naruto. He pushed the evil energy away. He'd been cursed before. And look at him, still kicking!

He noticed the wooden stairs leading to the second floor. It really didn't take him long to know just who had been staring at him. The eyes of Toshio Saeki, formerly Toshio Yamada were upon him. That brat still had the same pale skin, and dead eyes as always. He seemed hunched down with his hands gripping the wooden railing on the second floor.

"Yo! Toshio-chan, remember me? Where's your Kaa-san? I need a favor! Oi! Kayako-chan! Stop torturing whoever you're torturing, or scaring and come here! I need a favor!" Naruto hollered through the house. It was quiet for a moment before he heard a woman scream. He saw a Japanese woman running down the stairs. The woman didn't know him, but she really didn't care. She dashed out of the house as quickly as she could. Naruto turned his head and watched her go.

"You know Toshio-chan, you really need to get out more. I know that Ju-On is controlling you, but seriously. Get some sun or something. Maybe play a sport? Pick up a hobby? Maybe become the World's First Ghost Child Actor? You have to admit that haunting and terrorizing people who have nothing to do with your murder is kinda…anyway, I didn't come here to lecture. I came here for another reason," Naruto said turning around.

He instantly noticed the black hair of a rather tall Japanese woman. She crawled down the stairs. Her black eyes stared at him with unbridled fury. Naruto could even the entity, the Ju-On, behind her. That stupid black mist was honestly too much sometimes. Either it had a twisted sense of humor or a very warped sense of personal justice.

Her neck rattled while her hands and feet rested on the ground as if like some destroyed animal. Naruto frowned until she slid down the stairs. She crawled up to him and in that stupid twitching motion ghosts usually do, she stood to her feet and glared her eyes at him. She then released an unearthly wail upon him. However before she could full unleash it, Naruto closed her mouth. "Kayako-chan, no offense…but your breath stinks. Also, can you please STOP that neck snapping thing?!" Naruto asked as he grabbed her beck and twisted it until it was on straight. He then patted her shoulder.

"There, right as rain….for a ghost. Now then, if you'll stop glaring at me like I'm the one who put you thirty feet into the ground then we can move forward," Naruto said. Kayako Saeki merely stared at him, but whether by the Ju-On or her own natural desire to not be in the presence of a mortal who she couldn't curse, Kayako eased her malicious intent, but only by a bit. Even Toshio eased, though it might have been possible to tell by any other human.

Toshio stood next to his mother. Seeing this, Naruto grinned. "Good. Now then, remember when I came to this world and I was going over my script with Kurama. I had this really great idea. See, I remember wondering 'why do people read netorare?' So I tried it out for myself. I deliberately sucked in the sack, I tried to seduce a girl and then she sent me that video of her screwing my boss? Yeah, I still have to thank you for that. Anyway, I tried getting angry so I channeled most of my anger. You remember, I almost destroyed the world and caused 'The Day After Tomorrow?' Naruto asked.

Kayako and Toshio did not say anything, but they did remember this. Past the hatred, anger, and fury that comprised their bodies, they did remember the last time they felt his hatred. He had…quite literally nearly cracked the world in half. It was such powerful hatred that they were no longer trapped by the house. They could pass their maliciousness to the entire world if they desired. They sought him out to take his anger and add it to their own. With it, the entire world would have been covered. Then the anger was instantly gone. Naruto cackled that time. _"WOOOOO! What a rush! So that's what netorare feels like. Holy shit, thank god I just needed a random guinea pig."_ He said.

He met them only for a second before they were forced back to the house. How they wanted to feast upon that rage again. That rage gave way to surprise when, a month later, the blonde showed up. No more waiting. No subtlety. His rage. They desired his rage. The house they lived in exploded in maliciousness and Kayako appeared before him, but she quickly learned when he grabbed her head and slammed her into the floor that…he was definitely not normal. Yes, perhaps she should have been aware of this when, you know, the world was nearly cracked in half, but…you know 'blinded by rage' and all that.

He was unlike anyone she had ever haunted. He was powerful. He was too powerful. It actually angered her that she could not kill him. Everything she tried, resulted in him slamming her head into the floor, into the toilet, or even…into a pot of boiling water. Granted, none of these hurt, but…they were very infuriating. Long monologue short, he offered her a trade. He would give her a small sample of his hatred to do what she wished, and he would call in a favor at another point. Kayako Saeki did not make promises and she did not make deals, but…images of her head going back into that toilet made her very angry. His hatred was the greatest thing she and her son had ever been given. Though they were still confined to the house…it was much better than what it had been previously. Hence, why the blonde was here now.

"I'd like that favor now," Naruto said. Kayako and Toshio merely looked at him. The blonde had no way of knowing if they did accept, but…he had a feeling they did. After all, he could just give her a swirly again if he needed to. Naruto quickly nodded and touched them both. He attached their spirits to his own. Well, it looked like he would be haunted for a little bit.

"Don't worry, this won't take long. Just a little project," Naruto said. He could feel them both staring at him though he knew if he turned around they would not be there. Holding out his hand, a large portal appeared. He stepped inside.

A second later, Naruto stepped out and into another region of Japan. You know, now that the blonde thought about it…this region had a whole lots of vengeful spirits. Now, to get this one, Naruto would need…a VCR. He grinned.

Naruto sat in front of a computer in the library. "Let's see here. Hmmm, ah there you are!" He said, standing to his feet. It didn't take him very long to enter a pawn shop. He told the owner what he wanted. Naturally this got gasps from the staff, but he didn't care. Despite the half an hour of persuasion, the owner gave Naruto…a video tape. He thanked him and walked out the door. Of course they were nervous.

Stealth into an unknown person's room wasn't hard. Naruto turned on the TV and popped in the tape. The motion picture of a well came forward, then came a hand. Naruto's eyebrow twitched "Oi! Sadako! I know you can hear me! Hurry the hell up before I put you in a bigger well! I'm not doing this whole '7 Days To Die' bullshit! " Naruto shouted at the screen. A blast of hatred hit his face, but Naruto's face remained impartial. He pushed the hatred away.

"Oh, and here I was gonna let you in on some fun of mine. Fine! Stay in there! I'll just take my new friends, Kayako and Toshi-chan with me, dattebayo! We'll have all the fun without you!" Naruto called to her. Almost instantly, the tape fast forwarded. Sadako pulled herself out of the TV. She stood before Naruto. Her hair covering her eyes. Her long arms rested apart from each other. She wore that same white dress like Kayako did. He could feel she tried to kill him again with her mind, but by his smirk and her anger…it was impossible.

Oh Kami, where could he begin with a mess like Sadako? As if Kayako wasn't bad enough. He remembered when he had to fight them both when they merged. Lord that was a pain, especially separating them and putting them back in their individual curses. Admittedly, he felt a bit more sympathy for Sadako than Kayako, if only because her life…was pretty damn shitty. Anyway…

"Your hair looks nice. Though…you're getting water all on this floor. Oh well, I don't need to clean this stuff up anyway. Not my house. Now then…CAN YOU STOP TRYING TO KILL ME! YOU WANT ME TO DUNK YOU LIKE I DUNKED KAYAKO?!" Naruto asked. He could feel the want to burst into flames and he knew this was Sadako. Stupid, vengeful spirit. Why did you all have to be so damn temperamental?

 **"You think…dying has something to do with it, brat? I think dying has something to do with it,"** Kyuubi voiced. Naruto frowned. Okay, thanks for the comment smartass fox. Naruto would catalog that away for later. Sigh, he grabbed Sadako's shoulder.

"Fuck it, you're coming with me for now. Kayako, tell Sadako my plan while we go to the next location. You'd better behave too! Otherwise, I'll make you wish you stayed in that TV screen!" Naruto said. He attached Sadako's spirit to his as well. Great, haunted by three ghosts. Dear Lord, this harem route was becoming dangerous to his health. He could also feel the anger from Sadako and Kayako rising against each other. Oh right…no wonder they hated each other.

Naruto opened the portal and hopped to the next world. Now, if anyone's wondered why Naruto didn't choose Samara to use well…that one tended to be a bit…obsessive. Even more than the average ghost. She was also… A LOT meaner than Sadako. Samara would literally try to kill everyone. Granted, Naruto could have stopped her with both hands behind his back, both eyes closed, AND without his chakra, but…no need to arouse something like her…yet.

Naruto fell on top of his bed in his apartment. Sheesh, first sex with goddesses, then visiting three worlds, AND now being haunted by three spirits, all of whom were glaring down at him with their hatred. What a day. "Sadako, I feel that energy! Break my stuff and I'll make you wish you WEREN'T A GHOST!" Naruto said. The long-haired girl merely stood over him, not pleased. However, the thing about ghosts, they make excellent stalkers! They watched him, for HOURS!

-x-

 _Empress Pakura Uzumaki_. Those three words had been ringing in Pakura's mind for the last two or three days. Everything seemed to go by in a blur. She couldn't even look Naruto in the eye for those days. She couldn't believe herself. Something like love was so far beyond her. Crushes, and slight romantic interests aside, Pakura never pursued a love life much less with someone with such grandiose dreams as becoming emperor of the entire world. It wasn't a dream one boasted about easily. To make such a claim would require unsurpassable strength, wisdom above all others, and a charisma which made nations kneel. Could…Naruto actually do all of that?

The oddest thing was, he never brought up the kiss. She felt like she was the only one on edge! Any rehabilitation exercises they went through, he only offered her a knowing smile that, for all of Kami's hate, place a blush on her face. He stretched her legs and her arms. He had such a strong touch and she cursed herself for feeling like a ridiculous academy girl. He fed her the daily medicine, he spoke with her about anything which might have caught her interest.

Perhaps, it was when she asked him about his life did she notice his smile fade. He spoke with her about his life. Apparently, he had been married before but…his wife was taken from him by a powerful force. He didn't expound on the person or people who killed his family, but…she wished she had not asked. Seeing him so grief-stricken made her wish she hadn't opened her mouth. However, surprising even herself, Pakura pressed on. "What was she like?" Pakura asked.

Naruto smirked. "A real fireball. She was very beautiful. Just like you," Naruto began. Pakura stiffened and the blonde raised a slow hand. The former Hero of Suna watched it out of the corner of her eyes, but she did not move. Her rehabilitation had given her a better grasp over her arms, but they felt very heavy right now. He touched her cheek. Curse him and those warm hands of his.

Pakura blushed, but Naruto continued. "She was from Sunagakure too. She was a hero too, but one that the public never recognized. They never saw her potential for greatness. Yet, she kept on working. Harder and harder than anyone to keep peace alive. She wasn't always outwardly expressive, but when she smiled it was like my whole world lit up. It was as if the sun was in her smile. She had a very odd kekkai genkai too. I can't remember what she called it, but it made her very strong. She had this cute little student who'd always follow her around. I resolved to bring this world together through peace and understanding, but firm rule so that no one will experience heartbreaking news of their loved ones being killed! It's what she would have wanted."

Naruto finished and stood to his feet. He turned around to walk out of the door. However, Pakura thought over this story. "Is that why you kissed me? I remind you of her?" she asked. She wasn't aware of the desperation which laced her voice. From his view, Naruto gave a small grin. He quickly destroyed it though and turned around. Pakura's breath stilled when she looked into his eyes.

"Why Pakura-chan, I didn't think you were still thinking about that. Would you like me to kiss you again?" Naruto asked playfully. The Suna kunoichi stammered. She grabbed the sheets of her bed. She had never heard such…such…ridiculousness!

"T-That is not the case! Don't avoid the question," Pakura said, but she gasped as a bunch of wind flew in her face when Naruto sped towards her. Even with her skilled eyes, his agility was not easily traced. He grabbed her hand. She glared at him, but her glare softened when he rubbed her hands.

Naruto released another sigh. "No. No, Pakura-chan. I wouldn't do that to you. No matter how similar you both are, I recognize you for who you are. You're a very beautiful woman. You're not afraid to mark your own path, and you have the power to mark that path well. Many of this world's women would give up all their wealth to have what you do. No, I know you're not my wife. That much is obvious. You're your own person. A woman that I have found myself captivated by in the two weeks you have resided here." Naruto said.

Pakura's throat felt dry. As much as she wished to run, her legs were still pretty banged up. No one…no one fell in love so easily! Where was the dramatic tension?! Where was the love triangle?! Where was the drama after the sex scene? Where was the impossible circumstances which would keep them apart until the end of the fanfiction?! What kind of fanfiction was this?! Wait, what?

"I…I…I…," Pakura was not sure what to say. She watched him lean his face close to her own. She felt the back of the bedrest. She could not move. He was so close. His lips ready to take her.

"You…You…You…? What do you want, Pakura-chan? I…I would like nothing more than to kiss you again. Just like I did a couple of days ago, but you're a patient. As soon as you're better, if you desire, I will let you go without a single complaint. You won't ever see me again if that is what you wish. But, I know if I didn't at least make some effort to convey my feelings, then I…I would lose a wonderful woman to enter my life. Just…push me away, and I'll leave without another word, but…if Suna won't have you, then I will!" Naruto affirmed.

Pakura tried to remain focused. She really tried. She didn't desire to base a decision off of pure feeling, but…he was so determined. Pakura loved determined men. She loved men who took action. Though yes, she did not have a significant other to have time with, she had always held respect for men and women, mostly men, who could step forth and take a challenge. Do not attempt to ask her why.

She could feel his forehead touch her own. The back of her body rested on the wall. She could feel his breath tickle the skin of her upper lip. She would not return to Sunagakure. The hatred in her heart was too much to think of returning unless it was in an attempt to burn it down. Her arms felt like they had been engulfed in sand. Yet, he moved no closer. The warm touch of his skin was incredibly stimulating. Her head was getting fuzzy. Then she remembered those words which stilled her.

 _Empress Uzumaki Pakura._

She placed a hand upon his chest. She shivered at its tone. "Please…kiss me," she breathed out. Now normally, Naruto would have dove right into this request, but…he was feeling just a bit more playful than usual. His lips brushed hers, but just barely.

"Make me, Beautiful. Make me…want you," Naruto said huskily. The former jonin and Hero of Suna shivered. How dare he toy with her? She grabbed his shirt and pulled his lips over her own. A way of pleasure exploded inside her. She kissed her caretaker, and Naruto held her gently in his arms. The rays of sun shined over them both.

Kurama watched the scene with a grin. He looked down at the list in front of him. Tapping a pencil on the tip of his tongue, he crossed it off. **_"Harem Member #1: Captured,"_** the nine-tailed Fox thought to himself. He grinned. He needed to make some arrangements for more popcorn. Tonight's movie was going to be a killer!

-x-

Naruto yawned and walked out of class. Still boring as usual. He decided on no training for Yakumo and Sasuke today. He had tortured them enough. Besides, he had things to get ready for that didn't involve him sucking face with his first harem member. Though, he could feel her resting peacefully in her bed. Forgive him, but he had cheated…just a bit. Thanks to his aura, he had made her just a bit more suggestive to the thought of being with him. Oh, it was still definitely her choice. He just…made one of the choices seem just a bit more appealing than the others.

Now, onto tonight's festivities. His three consorts were upon him glaring at him hatefully. He rolled his eyes, but this is what he signed up for he supposed. So with that being the case, he headed into his house if only for a moment. He noticed Ryuzetsu still sleeping. She would most likely be that way for about two days. Her body was notably shorter than it had been previously. It just showed that what he was doing had worked. He patted her head and cracked his neck. He grabbed a pen and some paper.

Now one might be asking, 'Naruto, why would you allow yourself to be ghosted like this? What could you possible achieve by allowing three vengeful spirits to inhabit your spirit even if it was twenty-four hours?' Yes, of course. Thank you so much for your wonderful concern for his well-being. But, there was no need to fear. For all plans laid in the noggin from which they had sprung forth. At the very least this would get Anko off him for being suspicious. Even better, he could have his own plans for the Snake Mistress. Such wonderful, devious things.

"Alright, Kurama, you ready?" Naruto asked. The Kyuubi growled to himself, but he agreed. So, Naruto tore off the seal allowing the Kurama to go free, but before the abundance of chakra could go free, it was quickly and quietly contained until it took the shade of Uchiha Madara. The Fox looked at himself in the mirror and snarled.

 **"YOU OWE ME HARDCORE FOR THIS! Even looking at his face still pisses me off,"** Kurama said. He pushed some of the long black hair out of his face. He frowned for a moment while Naruto reappeared in his adult form. The blonde released a sigh. Truth be told, he wanted to have a bit more fun, but with Kurenai almost having a mental breakdown then he would first have to deal with Anko as her friend.

"Oh please, you've had nearly a millennia to get over the guy. Besides, you didn't complain when I became in one of the other realms!" Naruto replied. Kurama frowned at the thought, but it did bring a smirk to his face.

 **"Well that's because I got to laugh when you fucked his wife. Trust me, I made sure to record that one. I want that on the wall too,"** The Nine-tailed Fox said. Naruto just sighed, but he made sure to make a note of that for later. He made sure he would grab everything he needed. Still, he had to admit it was a funny memory, but he'd just had nigh Armageddon-causing sex. Forgive him if he went celibate for the next….day? Maybe?

Once the sun began to fade away from the sky, grabbing Kurama's hand, they both appeared in the Forest of Death. Naruto slowly landed on the ground. Kurama did the same thing. Sayako, Tohi, and Kayako detached from his spirit as well. "Alright, the other two are in position. Alright, Kurama once the the moon gets in the sky. We'll start. We have a couple of minutes before that happens. Once it hits, shoot a fire jutsu at me. Also, when you meet up with Mr. Skull 'N Bones…sigh, I mean Ainz! Stupid Suzuki! Tell that freakin' Elder Lich to make us a barrier and when let it go when you use your fire jutsu on me. Other than that, go for improv! I'll give you a signal when the scene should be over. Oh, and tell that smartass Vampire to STICK TO THE DAMN SCRIPT THIS TIME!" Naruto exclaimed.

Kurama smirked. Oh, Naruto would get improv. He would get more improv than the brat knew what to do with. He firmly nodded. The Kyuubi grabbed the three spirits and took off which left Naruto alone. So…now the blonde was free to do what he pleased.

He turned around and noticed a massive snake glaring down upon him. It bore its sharp fangs to him. Naruto responded…by pulling out a soda can. He opened it. "I'm going to finish this soda, you Arbok reject. When I turn around…you better be assuming the position!" Naruto said before he took a drink of his soda. The snake stared at him. If it had the ability, it would have laughed. It had never met a meal more humorous. It decided to humor the snack before ending its life.

Naruto finished his soda and crushed it. He turned around…and he frowned. Readers, why was this snake not assuming the position? Naruto released a sigh. "Remember, you asked for this!" Naruto said. Before the snake could say anything pain filled it body as Naruto gave it a swift uppercut. When Uzu-fuckin-maki Naruto told you to assume the position, the only question going through your body should be 'Why way?'

The moon slowly filled the sky. Naruto patted the head of his snake. "Nice work, Arbok! You do me proud. See what happens when you assume the position?" he asked. The snake slowly nodded. Its lunc…master rubbs its head and jumped down. "Now get outta here you silly snake!" Naruto said. Arbok needed no other words. He sped off into the forest. If Kami was merciful, he would NEVER see this guy again!

Meanwhile, Naruto grinned. Let the show begin. One for the notepad, become a movie actor because he was about to get the freakin' Emmy Award! Wait, what?

-x-

Anko whistled as she walked through her favorite training ground. Ah, there was nothing better than walking in a place that could kill you if you made one wrong step. The true essence of being a shinobi. It was days like this that made life worth living. Well…almost.

She was afraid to leave Kurenai by herself. Especially since Asuma kept pestering to see her if anything was wrong. Anko, much to her own distaste and Kurenai's thankfulness, did not go to the Hokage with the knowledge presented to her. She admitted that she was aware of the Kyuubi jinchuuriki story sounded as well. No doubt instead of the boy being questioned, she would be questioned for her own sanity…despite the evidence. Video evidence was forged all the time. Anko didn't need anymore suspicion placed on her anymore than when she had been suspected of treachery for being the student of a certain Hebi Sannin.

Anko released a breath. Uzumaki Naruto. Now if that adult form of his was real…then Kami, Kurenai had herself a lucky man…in the future. The brat sure evened out. Hell, if not for certain complex events, Anko wondered if her future self asked future Kurenai for a tur….

"Ack! No! There is no way that form is real! The brat's always been a prankster! I refuse to belie…"

 **"You can't run forever, Uzumaki Naruto! Did you think returning to the past would change anything?! You can never escape from us! But I will show you! I will burn away all that you hold dear. The Land of Fire shall become a true burning land of flames! You will watch as I make your loved ones dance for me again!"** A loud voice boomed in the forest.

Anko didn't even have the time to let shock appear on her face before she heard another cry. **"Katon: G** **ō** **ka Mekkyaku (Fire Release: Majestic Destroyer Flame),"** Anko watched as a flame blasted through the forest with increasing pressure. The trees and ground in front of her were incinerated in seconds.

The purple-haired jonin quickly jumped into the trees. However, she gasped when Naruto crashed into the tree she had been standing on. He was not the little kid she remembered. He was the full-grown hunk of man-meat she would ride into the sunset like a new Toyota! Wait, a what?

Anyway, the Tokubetsu Jonin saw just how bloody his attire looked. He looked to be beaten pretty badly. He coughed and a gob of blood spat out. "Gaki?! What the hell happened to you?!" Anko asked. Naruto opened one of his bruised eyes. Note to self, never punch yourself in the face again.

The snake mistress watched the blonde stiffen. "Anko?! What are you doing here?! I had the barrier up! You shouldn't be here! Get out of here!" Naruto told her. He seemed too weak to move, but he found the will to stand up. He grabbed a hold of her much to her shock. She found herself surprised at his strength.

"Leave! Please leave! I can't lose you again! You have to get help!" Naruto commanded. Confusion filled Anko's spirit. She had no idea what caused the much older jinchuuriki to fly into a panic. What did he mean lose her again? He wasn't making any sense. She was about to have him apprehended for questioning, but they both suddenly felt the weight of chakra upon them. It was more than Anko could take. She nearly dropped to her knees.

 **"Hmmm, I see. So that's what you were protecting. I remember this one as well. Tell me Uzumaki Naruto, how did it feel when I made your third wife fight you? Was it heart breaking? I remember the dance between the two of you rather well. You tried so hard to free her from my control, but you only got so far. In the end, it didn't even matter,"**

Anko stared up and her skin turned pale when she stared at the form of Uchiha Madara. She could tell because he looked just like he did from the many pictures she had seen. But…Uchiha Madara was dead! What did he mean by second wife? Wasn't Naruto supposed to be Kurenai's husband or something ridiculous like that?! What was he talking about?

Kurama raised an eyebrow at her shocked expression. Okay, he wouldn't admit it, but this was more fun than he gave it credit for. **"Hmmm, oh. Ohohoh! Don't tell me you didn't tell her? Heh, I suppose you wouldn't. Uzumaki Naruto, always thinking about the greater good. I don't know whether to call your little past girlfriend there unlucky or, super-ultra-mega-alpha-hyper-supercalifragilisticexpialidociously unlucky,"** Madara said.

Anko and Naruto blinked. The latter even more. He raised an eyebrow and Kurama found down the urge to smirk. **"Here, Naruto. A little piece from your past…future…time…thing,"** Madara said before throwing a picture at them both. It stabbed itself into the tree bark at their feet. Naruto coughed.

"Anko, no. Don't get involved! If you get involved…," Naruto didn't finish. Anko picked up the picture. She stared at it. Her eyes widened. Her…kissing Uzumaki Naruto…in a traditional white kimono. He wore a very traditional haori with matching hakama. Anko stared back at the young jinchuuriki unable to form even a single thought. Naruto growled as he glared hatefully at Madara.

Kurama grinned. **"What's wrong, Naruto? Oh, I see. You didn't want her to know. Were you planning to just let her live her life peacefully? Or did you falter when you saw your second wife alive once again? What do you think your children thought about before their final moments?"** Madara asked.

Anko felt chakra explode as Naruto growled. If this wasn't enough, she was shocked when four, white angelic wings came from his back. "MADARA!" Naruto hollered as he dashed for the man. Kurama grinned as he kept his arms folded. He felt a rush of dark energy pass him by.

Naruto let out his fist, but it collided with the heel of a boot forcing Anko to cover her eyes. Naruto snarled, anger in his eyes. "Hey wassup bitch! Still doing that world-saving jazz? Why not take a load off Naruto? Have some fun! Kill some humans! It's a great stress reliever! **For both parties!"** Naruto sucked his teeth at the wide grin in front of him of the man he had crashed with.

"Alucard! Since when do you work for Madara?" Naruto asked. Alucard smirked at the excitement in Naruto's eyes, but he kept the fun down.

 **"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who do you take me for Voldemort? I work for no one. I just thought I'd bust a cap on ya just like you did me. Good times, remember? Besides, I'm not the only one here. HEY SKULLY, SAY HELLO!"** He called.

Naruto stiffened when he and the female jonin could feel the massive pressure which flooded the forest. **"I distinctly recall informing you NOT to call me that! Hell Flame!"** Another being called and a rush of black fire threatened to cover Anko's form. She wanted to move, but the pressure of these monsters before her was too much. She stared at the black flames. Was…she going to die?

Suddenly, arms wrapped around her. She stared into Naruto's blue eyes before he cried in pain as the flame crashed into his back, burning his wings. He fell on top of the Snake Mistress. She stared at him in shock. "A-Anko, run. I…couldn't bear it if you and Kurenai died again! Get…away," Naruto said before he passed out.

"O-Oi!" Anko called to him, but she noticed that he was out cold. Whatever chakra he had possessed was utterly gone. She could tell. Anko then stared at the ancient shinobi who had done battle with Hashirama Senju. She then turned to look at the one called Alucard, who seemed to find great pleasure in their situation, and lastly…a walking, talking skeleton wearing purple robes…Skully.

 **"Hahaha, are you kidding? You're a walking, talking dog fantasy! It perfectly describes you, Ainz Ooal Gown…hahahah get it? It's like gown…for women!"** Alucard replied. The pressure from Ainz quickly exploded before Madara landed next to them.

"Did you just assume a demonic Skeleton's gender? Look at that manly bathrobe! It reminds me of Anderson! Ah, good ole forced religion!" Alucard replied. Madara and Ainz stared at fuck-mothering vampire for a moment before turning to their associates.

 **"Hmm, looks like they ran off,"** Ainz said. Madara shook his head and brushed some of his hair out of his face.

 **"Oh no, who could have been responsible for distracting us?"** Kurama-Madara asked. Both demons glared at the…immortal vampire. Alucard gave a wide grin.

 **"Looks I just experienced interdimensional time travel. The nearest Human McDonalds is about fifty-five dimensions away! I'm not even killing anyone for this! I deserve something!"** Alucard replied. Ainz folded his arms.

 **"This isn't because he plowed your Protestant master before you did, right?"** Ainz asked. Alucard glanced off to the side. He then floated to the tree branch where they stood.

 **"Whaaaaaaaat? Me? Hold a grudge? No! No no no no no no no no no no. I'm just having fun enjoying the scenery. It's a good night for…a walk,"** Alucard said. Kurama and Ainz facepalmed.

-x-

"Hey Nai-chan, turns out…Uzumaki Naruto really is from the future. I just met future Madara, and undead talking skeleton, and an undead vampire. Yeah, I might have also been married to the gaki as well. Sure Nai-chan, let's have a threesome! I'm down!" Anko said with a growl as she rested Naruto's body against the wall of cave. Naruto slowly opened his eyes.

"Why…are…you…still…here? You…gotta get…outta here," Naruto said with a groan. Anko turned around and noticed him awake. She folded her arms.

"Gee, thank you Anko-sama for saving my life. Oh no problem, Gaki. Happy to do it," Anko replied, glaring at him. However, to her surprised Naruto glared right back at her. He struggled to stand to his feet. His once vibrant wings lost their lighted touch.

"I didn't ask you to save me. I specifically told you to Madara isn't like your Madara. He was strong enough to fight the five every. Single. Kage from every village that we tried to resurrect! TOGETHER! Now he's got himself an army in the future that he'll take to overwhelm this time. I…need to stop him. I won't let him do it again! For you see Anko...we're not dealing with the average Uchiha shinobi anymore!" Naruto said. He began to walk out of the cavern.

"The average what?! Stop talking in vague sentences. I saved your life! You could at least tell me the damn truth about whatever is going on here!" Anko said, but she was quickly faced with overwhelming pressure.

"The truth? The truth?! You…want the truth? **YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"** Naruto screamed at her, but he forced himself to calm down. He faced her and…he dropped to his knees.

"Not again, Anko. I can't lose you too. You, Kurenai-chan, I lost you both once. I will not do it agai…," Naruto stiffened. No not now! Did they really have to show up now?! Both noticed the walls slowly start to drip red blood. A dark, decrepit hand grabbed Anko's face much to her shock. She couldn't even scream and neither could Naruto before the two was dragged into the darkness.

"Anko!" Naruto cried. No. No! Not this time Sadako! Not this time Kayako! Naruto was not going to let you have your way AGAIN!

With a mighty cry that shook the cave they were in, a bright light blasted from Naruto's body. The last of his power, he turned and noticed the two spirits standing near the entrance. In the corner of the room, near Anko's unconscious body sat Toshio attemping to possess her. He stared at the blonde, his face expressionless.

 **"Let. Her. Go!"** Naruto commanded. He suddenly appeared in front of Toshio and flung him across the room. The boy landed next to the two spirits at the entrace. **"I never thought Madara would bring you three back either. Well, it doesn't matter. Leave Anko out of this! You want me? Come and get me!"** Naruto said as he made a clone which grabbed the tokubetsu jonin. They both nodded and Naruto touched its shoulder, sending it far, far away from harm.

The cave began to crack from the last of Naruto's power. He was going to make it right. He was going to make the future right. He was going to avenge all of his loved ones. Naruto was going to WIN. THIS. **WAR!** "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Naruto hollered at the top of his lung as he dashed for the three ghosts. The light of his power shined with the hope of nearly a thousand futures. He extended his fist for Kayako's face…and stopped. The wind from the force behind his action exploded out of the cave.

"AND…CUT! Good job, everyone!" Naruto said. Sadako, Kayako, and Toshio didn't respond, but there was no need. Soon they faded out and went back to their own worlds. Naruto then watched Ainz, Alucard, and Kurama jump to the ground.

 **"Did you just really use us to get yourself a harem?"** Ainz asked. Naruto smirked. He then gave the skeleton a thumbs up.

"Hey, what's that?! Is that Albedo-chan giving Police Girl a good tonguing?!" Naruto exclaimed.

 **"WHERE?!"** Alucard asked and Ainz didn't even hesitate to not look before both vanished in smoke. Naruto cackled and Kurama shook his head.

 **"They are going to be so pissed off at you when you see them again."** Kurama replied. Naruto waved off the bijuu's concerns. He knew something that would make those two happy later down the line. As for those three spirits. Yeah, being haunted was not the best feeling in the world, especially not by three malicious ghosts!

 **"So what now? I'm surprised you went for that route. I didn't even suggest the exhibitionist to you. Since when do you like the snake princess?"** Kyuubi asked. Naruto scratched his cheek with a nervous chuckle. Dare he say he thought of that on the fly? Nah.

"A-Anyway, we're going to accelerate some plans a bit. In order to become emperor and conquer the world, then I think it's time we got a little more…involved," Naruto said. Kurama raised an eyebrow. By the look in his friend's eyes, the bijuu's own eyes widened. He then gave his own grin.

 **"Wait, you're serious about this aren't you? Well, if that's what you're going for then…I, Kyuubi no Yoko, command my charge, Uzumaki Naruto. Take for thine own wife! Soon to be Mizukage, Mei Terumi!"** the nine-tailed Fox said aloud. Naruto grinned. It was all beginning to come together. First Nagato and Konan, then his little generals, and then…a little team...wait a minute.

"Hey Kurama, you know what's gonna happen right soon?" Naruto asked. His grin widened so much Kurama thought he was staring at a clown. However, the smile on Kurama's face was not to be contained either. He knew exactly what his jinchuuriki was thinking.

 ** _Warning! Warning! Warning!_** ** _Warning!_**

 **"Oh I know, kit. But say it anyway. You know just the thing to get my blood pumping?"** Kurama asked. Naruto gave a small grin. He looked up at the sky.

"It's coming, Kurama! We're gonna ride it too! We've gonna have ourselves a good, old-fashioned….,"

 **TEAM DEATHMATCH!**

* * *

 _ **KG: Hmmm, to be honest I hesitated with the crossover, but meh. I think this works itself out just fine. Also if you're wondering about Harem size for this world, well...do you really want a number?**_

 _ **Wifey: HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF NAMES YET?!**_

 _ **KG:...(groan). We don't need to think of names yet!**_

 _ **Wifey: IF YOU DONT THINK OF NAMES, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU REGRET IT!**_

 _ **KG: 'Do your husbandly duty,' they said. 'No halping for you,' they said. 'It'll be fun,' they said. I. Hate. All. of. YOU!**_

 _ **Wifey: BUILD A CRIB!**_

 _ **KG:...Is this what you all wanted? Me to suffer for your amusement?**_

 _ **Wifey: ALSO TAKE PICTURES. WE NEED TO SHOW EVERYONE!**_

 _ **KG:...I wonder if Bleach is an acquired taste.**_


End file.
